RESPECT...goes both ways - Free Chat, Mobile Dating Forums

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Topic: RESPECT...goes both ways

BigSteve76

Fri 04/18/14 12:56 AM

Now, all my life I have always heard women say that they wish men would just accept them for who they are. Problems are that they do not accept themselves and demand that men be a fairy tale. So, I'm 38, I believe in respect as a major part a any relationship. Yet always seem to be the nice guy that helps and then ignored....ladies, please give me some advice on what I am doing wrong.

Shy_Emo_chick

Fri 04/18/14 04:19 AM

Whether man or woman, nobody reacts the same way. I guess, if you come across a profile you like, then invite the person to somewhere public, but not before getting to know them. No matter how good-looking they might be. I've met some pleasant men from here, in the past. This dating site has worked far better for me getting a date than most other dating sites. I'm a bit wary of POF though, because of the groce questions they ask in the Sex forum.

AthenaRose2

Fri 04/18/14 04:40 AM

Now, all my life I have always heard women say that they wish men would just accept them for who they are.

Problems are that they do not accept themselves and demand that men be a fairy tale.

So, I'm 38, I believe in respect as a major part a any relationship. Yet always seem to be the nice guy that helps and then ignored....

ladies, please give me some advice on what I am doing wrong.

First of all, all the women I know are accomplished at something.

Whether it be motherhood, marriage, their career, or leisure time activities and don't require a man's approval to feel accepted.

From the way you describe the women you associate with they appear to be insecure and emotionally needy.

But then again if you complain about their frailties and label them as having problems with their self image, as well as referring to them as being demanding, then it's no wonder why they ignore you even if you consider yourself to be a nice guy.

Perhaps if you extended an equal amount of positive reinforcement with your harsh critiques of them the women in your life will show you the same level of respect.

Just saying...

Leigh2154

Fri 04/18/14 05:01 AM

You got the thread title right....Your OP,,,, not so much... "Blame Avenue" will not lead you to paradise...Also, when placing blame, make a concentrated effort to use the word "some"...Example: 'Some'times I hear 'some' women say....When criticizing and/or blaming others for your problems, it is always a good idea to use spell AND GRAMMAR check because 'some' people might be fooled into thinking you actually know what you are talking about...

I hope this advice you requested helps...Welcome to Mingle! :wink:

Edited by Leigh2154 on Fri 04/18/14 05:01 AM

sweetestgirl11

Fri 04/18/14 05:11 AM

even tho' you have labeled yourself as a "nice guy" who is respectful, and you may well be those things, your attitude toward women seems mysognistic...like you assume a certain sense of superiority because of all of your criticisms. Perhaps you simply need to learn to accept a few of your female friends "just the way they are." lol

How would you know if I do not accept myself? I do quite actually. I agree with what Athena Rose is saying...are you associating with women that have some degree of maturity & accomplishment? So that your respectful assistance will not go unnoticed.

And what do your mean by "helps?" That can have all kinds of implications. Help as is trying to change someone is not respectful and usually not appreciated. (for example)

funkyfranky

Fri 04/18/14 06:46 AM

Sweetestgirl, that is probably one of the best answers I have seen on Mingle.
I think this guy needs to look at himself first. That's not me being sarcastic, that's just my advice, for what it's worth.

2KidsMom

Fri 04/18/14 07:06 AM

God I love my Smart friends....
Runs in and says yea....all that shiiit she said!!!!WORD. laugh

I agree...lol

Morning(((((posse girl)))) :heart:

Edited by 2KidsMom on Fri 04/18/14 07:12 AM

2KidsMom

Fri 04/18/14 07:08 AM

She is one Smart Chica!!!!!
I agree wholeheartedly.

OvertimeJ

Fri 04/18/14 07:13 AM

Maybe u need to look for another man;)

Leigh2154

Fri 04/18/14 07:14 AM

Maybe u need to look for another man;)

Welcome!!

Edited by Leigh2154 on Fri 04/18/14 07:15 AM

Torgo70

Fri 04/18/14 07:48 AM

*cough cough* nice guy thread *cough cough*

Leigh2154

Fri 04/18/14 07:49 AM

*cough cough* nice guy thread *cough cough*

Here Matt, drink this!...

flowerforyou

BigSteve76

Fri 04/25/14 04:47 AM

To start with, thank you for the responses, it is truly appreciated. I never offer them advice or critise them. I said they never seem happy with themselves because they are always putting themselves down, I'm treated like a big brother or something, many are accomplished in many areas, and I am only attracted to strong women. I respect a woman no matter what others may think because I am old fashioned in that regards, I stop and pay attention when someone speaks and actively avoid rushing to conclusions and preconceived ideas on matters. Yes I describe myself as a nice guy, I am, I have my moments, but all in all I know that at the end of the day I am respectful, polite and considerate. Once again ladies, thank you for taking the time to respond, I will look at myself and see if I can change accordingly.

p.s: I am genuine, not a poser or anything like that, just lost someone dear to me when I was younger, and found a letter from them the other week and it has gotten me thinking.

Edited by BigSteve76 on Fri 04/25/14 05:00 AM

Leigh2154

Fri 04/25/14 05:40 AM

I really like that^^^ post :smile:

....It makes a lot more sense than your OP did and it comes off as sincere rather than angry and accusatory...I apologize for being sarcastic in my previous post flowerforyou

...I've heard your complaint enough times to believe there is a certain amount of truth to it, but I also think we don't always see ourselves the way others do...Sometimes self proclaimed "nice guys" are really just needy, troubled men who are trying too hard in order to mask or compensate for their shortcomings...Some of us gals have built in radar when it comes to neediness and we avoid it like the plague because it comes with such a heavy price...It can choke the life out of the strong, independent women you say you are attracted to...My best advice for anyone who is having "consistent" relationship problems is look to yourself for the answer(s)...Good luck Steve!....