so you gave her the lazy version that didn't
quite translate. Hilarious! 'Foot in mouth disease'

My almost first threesome back in the 90s after the bar and one
buddy went with the one and my best friends old brother that was about 10 years older than us and myself started to get with the other one. The lights were off and we were each on one breast,then
Mike says "this is perfect" as I agreed,then he follows up with:"except there's only one problem here! You've got sagy breasts. she jumped up & said get out as she
flicked on the light and put a robe on.
I was completely naked in the bright light sitting next to Mike on the bed as she was yelling get out..out.
Mike still had his jeans & jacket on. All a could say was "you A-hole! What ya say that for. she told us told us earlier that her husband left her for a younger woman. No wonder his wife just left him.

perhaps she was referring to the strap on

I have never had anyone say anything funny or strange during sex, but then I have a wide range of "normal." lol

Are you Ladies on the same team?

good one,oh that's what she probably assumed after seeing me in my flaccid state.

Lol, I'm interested! like are they on the "same team"
or like 9,or 11 of them? You know enough to field a ball
park or a soccer field. Please Disambiguate.
I know that's a big word for a wood bug like me

ok now a get it I just thought your didn't like my
lame joke.

Was in a new relationship and when I finish before her fresh in the relationship she said
"That just makes me feel like going out and getting laid..lol Ouch
Talk about; I want what I want when I want it!Little Baby couldn't wait 20 Min. I just told her that's a good idea F��k off..she didn't.
Thank god that's not the norm behavior.
~n that's what she said~

She was yelling out "Oh Dave" "Oh Dave",the problem is my name happens to be Chuck.Later she told me no big deal its just that you look like a Dave.

awesome! good one Chuck..I guess you can't take credit for that one but you can take credit for the ear music
and isn't that the main thing she was at least yelling something
besides "get the f��� off me"lol,Ear music is good music regardless of the name callin' man. how's it going Chuck?

I have being in that alkward situation of not remembering her name
and after the act there was no way we want to ask but I have had a few woman ask and I just start laughing,at least they don't feel stupid half the next day wondering like some of us dummies.

Had one once apologising for showing up late by saying, "I'm just trying to keep everybody happy".

I started laughing as soon as I seen your name.
The sultan of Swank delivers..lol

'God' bless her and if 'he' won't we will! got a love something about a woman that can make 5
happy opposed to just one miserable. Its probably a lot easier.It starts with sex and ends with sex and everybody's happy.true

Hilarious posts y'all...

;) A comical release is always good when ur hot & serious in the moment.

A creak on the floor board made a noise as if someone farted. You could only imagine the convo during & after the squeaking noise.

"No u didn't... "
"What did u have for dinner?"
"Ok, that was me!"
"U need to get new flooring!"

...

Lol!!! That was hilarious,. Dave!...
Errr... I mean, Chuck...
(Sheeessh)

The two that stand out to me are 1. After aking my ex-wife to try talking dirty in the bedroom when SHE was on she said "ride me like a wild pony" I started laughing so hard that we didn't finish....

the second one was a one-night stand with this black girl, she was saying calling herself a "dirty n-word" and she wanted me to do the same there was no way I could do that ...that endede up being a good half-night stand I left saying "i don't think im what you're looking for" or something along those lines

"you sure that's not a tick?"

What kinda release you talking about here...
Laughter? I concentrate and they think I'm distant and ask whats wrong...lol just reminded me of the best one yet its a classic
and a long story...comming up...but first a few more.
peace ][ out

Hilarious posts is right

Thanks for all the laughs and to all you virgins and those woman I haven't meet, thanks for nothing Cuz I'm running out of material.
I'm sure I have a few more.

This ones take place in 2002 north coast BC with my then future WIFE and shortly after my future X wife. When the story unfolds you will see why she becomes my X but you will NEVER see why she becames my wife.

We were staying on site in a fifed wheel up in the bush and we all had the day off and just got back to camp with the groceries.
This job I had the 'wife' and the three kids all camping for the duration of the job.
So the crew shows up not long after and picked up the two new chainsaws,myself & the one other guy order from my friends saw shop in Vancouver. Mine was all hoped up; ported and piped.
I was pretty exited to run it up and tune it to altitude then sharpen it up for the next day but that would have to wait as we were barbecuing and putting things away.right after dinner the guys
got this plan to...(stop what your thinking right now,this isn't triple XXX) go pick some wild rasparies for the ice cream and were
going to take the kids with.
So I'm thinking that's nice for the kids and I can get right on
my....saw. Well as Kim was telling me, they're all going and they are taking the kids. With big smiles on our faces she quietly says and we can have sex outside!So I went "yeah" and kept the now fake smile going.
the only thing I wanted to touch was my new saw...I couldn't believe What just happened. Any other time and that would have been a real smile.
They leave and she runs in and grabs the blanket and I stop and say "I just got to fire up my saw..I want to idle a tank of gas through it to seat the ring. So I fired it up and we walk in the bush about 100ft.
We strip down and Kim gets on but I wasn't yet up for the job and was having a little difficulties out the gate. I was just very distracted and so she asked me
"So what's wrong Babe" and I say nothings why"? "There's something wrong! your never like this" and she starts putting it on me "I don't turn you on anymore,do I"? Then I would said "yyyyes you turn me on..it will be fine there's nothing wrong just keep going". Then we started to find a rythem and I remember thinking *that was a close one but things will be good now* and all of the sudden my new saw slowly starts to misfire from the long idle as it was starting to choke on its own exhaust. Then 'it' starts to happen again and me not been able to tune out what the saw was doing, then thats when I realized I shouldn't have started it up but it was now too late. she would go right back to the same drill as she stops with frustration in mid motion.
"I just don't turn you on anymore" I retort"yes you do!...its nothing, of course you turn me on" she replied "then what is it then? I don't turn you on"?....."You turn me on"..."No!.. I dont"!...then what is it then"? It was hurting me to think she believed she wasn't enough physically for me but I couldn't tell her what it was...no way!but she didn't deserve to feel that way either but she was a head strong woman with a mean German temper. and the word that I always thought described her best was relentless. Well the saw was ready to die and she was looking down over me, just putting it on me as I wilted out of her as she repeated " what then?.... What is it then?... TEll me?... TEll me? Tis,...See i don't turn you on"!The saw sputtered and I turned my head to the side and watched it in desperation for a spell and then looked back at her and said in a hesitant week voice "my saw" she said "WHAT" ....I said "my saw...its gonna die" Well She jumps up
to her feet just boiling inside shaking her head and clinking her jaw then slips on her panties, grabs the corner of the quilt and pulls it with all her might as she yelled "Move" as she yanks it a second time and dumps my bare azz in the pine needles and duff. She quickly picks up her bra shirt and shorts and flops them over the comforter, slips on her shoes and says "and the next time your horny don't even think of bothering me...you can go F��k your saw ! She exited towards the trailer and I jumped to my feet
pulled up my shorts and went for my saw a comfortable few steps behind her. I had it in my hands, revving it up before she got to the trailer.She turned around and said "and don't even try come in!
as she slammed the metal door and lached it.I just remember
thinking "finally.. She won't come back

So now I'm back with 'the sweetish twins'; 'Inga and Ingred'
They screem for me not at me...they make me $ don't spend it.
Infact their is only one way to skin a cat;figuratively
{{{{{{Husqavarna}}}}}}

Like was she wrong there? I would have never of got upset if the
washing machine got stuck on a cycle and she had to hope of for a sec or to flip the pork chops

A classic story of younger Vintage Pony
I'm much more mATUre now