so I open my phone this morning and in the messenger icon there is a notice that I have a message.. so I open it and there's 2 messages. The first one no problem.. the 2nd one was from an employee .. He must have been surfing facebook and found me..sent me a message ..he did reference that he had been drinking, he apologized for the inappropriateness.. (telling me how beautiful I was, and sexy, how he appreciated me..).. I would like to go back and re-read it actually, because I was so stunned! but now I cannot locate the message. I noticed as well that the message was sent on Sunday (today, is Wed.)..and I haven't really been at work much to run into him..
Now, when that happens..? what are your ideas of what I should do. ??
Do ya know how I can retrieve that message ??
I am sure he might be embarassed.. but maybe again.. maybe drunk talk is honest talk??
Should I acknowledge to him that the message was read? and I'm flattered.., but...?

Are you interested in this person at all?

Never really thought about him in that vein.. He is my employee (and a good one too), and probably 12 - 15 years younger than me..

I don't know if I have any good advice. If you are not interested, I would just ignore it, since he was drinking. He might not remember. If you have an interest in him, maybe this is a good time to flirt a little and see what happens. I don't know. I'm not good confronting people.

those do seem like two good options..

Either go after him, or reaffirm yourself as his boss(?).

If you ignore it you undermine your authority.
Simply because it is bad behavior.
He's drunk, and inappropriately messaging you.
He even acknowledges it as inappropriate.

If he comes onto you and you do absolutely nothing, then he can imagine whatever he wants.
Including that it's okay to message you when he's drunk as long as he admits to it being inappropriate.

Or IMO you have 4 options.
1. Respond like his friend and peer, having no real authority over him.
2. Respond like his lover, that you want him just as bad.
3. Respond like a scared high school girl and don't respond because you don't know what to do but a boy, tee hee, likes you.
4. Respond like his boss.

Ignoring his message will at best kick the can and underlying problem down the road.


Not really.
You don't specifically mention what program the message came on.
Mingle2 site?
Some email site?
Messenger?
Facebook?

You simply said "messenger icon" after he might have found you on facebook.


Not really.

Being drunk simply removes inhibitions to socially unacceptable behavior by clouding potential consequences.

If a guy just wants to use someone for sex, but normally he tries to be the "good" and "honest" guy and not use women for sex, then being drunk can reduce the inhibitions against lying to try and get laid.

From her perspective he was all "I have to confess my love for you!" but the next morning when he takes off and never calls her again she may realize his "honest" motive was to get laid.

Being "drunk" allows for people to more honestly pursue what they really want, but that doesn't necessarily mean being honest with other people.

This is so wrong on so many levels IMO...
Hitting on the boss
Drunk messaging..

Why would you tell him you are flattered.. Is the laws different in Canada? I mean here in Alaska that would be opening the employer to all kinds of issues...

If he is a good employee let him know this is inappropriate and not acceptable and if it happens again.. You will fire him...

I know him my office we do look at social media, we have caveats in our contracts for this kind of thing and it would be a write up at the very least.

If you are that interested help him find another job...

Make him your biotch,just kidding,take the complement but let it go, work place drama is bad news and you being his boss may come back to bite you later, I don't know the laws where you live but here they can make life for you difficult if things don't work out.Beware.

There is a say "Don't **** where you eat"
Hope that makes sense here.

I would recommend you to meet him personally and explain him how in-appropriate his actions is and how it can damage the relationship at office.

Sooo... do I have to work for you to pay you a compliment?.... would it help?..lol..

What is done outside the company wallsis fine...nothing inappropriate here. Just a man attracted to a woman....
Of course it could get a little sticky when he hits you up for a raise

My advice would be to ignore it since he is a good employee. If it happens again, then you need to have a word with the guy, no one normal sends those kind of messages to their boss, this is just my opinion. I was once attracted to a woman where I was employed, and she was in a more senior position than me but not my direct boss, she was in a different section. I new she was not married, and when I eventually picked up enough courage, I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She asked why I wanted to know, so I was honest and said that I would like to ask her out on a date. She said she had a long standing boyfriend and she let me down gently, so that was the end of it, but we continued with a good working relationship and in some ways closer, but not romantically.

That happen to me once received a call at 2:00 am Friday from a engineer at a company I worked with.
I immediately confronted the Engineer Monday morning first thing. I told her that it was totally inappropriate to phone me at that hour and what was said.

I discovered it was not her it was someone else pretending to be her and immiated her accent.

The company took it very seriously because it was considered crossing the line.

Be care full your the owner of your company.lawyers are $450 to $600 per hour.
Keep the record for your own protection! you never know. relationships start out good and end nasty.

thanks everyone for the thoughts.. I know I have to confront him about the message.. I am now just pondering my wording..

.. just flash him your boobies and say... never going to happen..lol

A real man never flirts or has any type of sht going on with women at his workplace, be it a co-worker, boss etc.
It is unprofessional, & can even affect one's self respect & ethics. That's just my opinion

..ohh.k..but I can still touch myself at work right?.lol

yup

So if you touch yourself at work, can you file a sexual harassment lawsuit against yourself?? If so, who would win???

On the Serious side:
To RustyKitty, definitely don't get involved while you are his boss. Unless you own the company, you could easily be let go if things go wrong. If you do own the company, you put it at risk. Not worth it! Word your communications to him carefully and maybe get HR's input. CYA!! (Cover your A**)

Best of luck dealing with that.