Topic: Opening lines for initial email...
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tmh1063's photo

tmh1063

Thu 07/28/16 09:41 AM

What do you usually say when sending an email to someone on Mingle that you are interested in knowing better?

I keep getting "Hi beautiful, (gorgeous, pretty, sweetheart, dear etc) I would like to get to know you better". Which BTW does not work on me. If I wanted to hear a pickup line I wouldn't be here I would be in a bar or a club. ohwell

Personally, because this is online dating, I would rather strike up a friendship first and see where it goes from there. I want to know what we have in common if anything at all and get to know the other persons personality a bit. Well, as much as you can online.

What works for you and what doesn't? blushing
babykris6c's photo

babykris6c

Thu 07/28/16 09:49 AM

i rarely text someone first. lengthy first message deserves a reply. should reply to the ones who take the time to read my profile.
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SassyEuro2

Thu 07/28/16 10:02 AM

Ugh.. I would love to give a serious reply... But....;~( I don't want to teach scammers, pervs, alters & trolls how to improve their game.
soufiehere's photo

soufiehere

Thu 07/28/16 10:18 AM

Hmm..I have never actually sent an email with the intent
to attract, so I might say something like:

Hello, you..it's me.

It is 'National Say Hello to a Stranger Day' in..some
country..somewhere, I feel sure :-)

soufie
Jimmy_roy's photo

Jimmy_roy

Thu 07/28/16 10:22 AM


Ugh.. I would love to give a serious reply... But....;~( I don't want to teach scammers, pervs, alters & trolls how to improve their game.

laugh laugh laugh
I don't think they have time to study threads, most of them have very poor english.
Bunny92110's photo

Bunny92110

Thu 07/28/16 01:27 PM

I get a lot of those messages too. I like messages that mention something about my profile (not just my pics) and in which the other person shares something about their personality.
Beachfarmer's photo

Beachfarmer

Thu 07/28/16 01:50 PM

I can lick my own eyebrows
no photo

joethebricky

Thu 07/28/16 02:19 PM

Have you got any nice sisters
no photo

ciretom

Thu 07/28/16 03:12 PM

What do you usually say when sending an email to someone on Mingle that you are interested in knowing better?

Depends on what their profile and pictures say about them.

I keep getting "Hi beautiful, (gorgeous, pretty, sweetheart, dear etc) I would like to get to know you better". Which BTW does not work on me. If I wanted to hear a pickup line I wouldn't be here I would be in a bar or a club.

That's great...How many guys have you sent a first message to?

I mean if you wanted to sit around and wait for guys to chase you, you could be in a bar or a club.

So what do you usually say when sending an email to someone on Mingle that you are interested in knowing better?

Every email you get is an opportunity to start a conversation.
Doesn't really matter what it says.
Some conversations just aren't worth having.

If you're actually looking to date someone and you're passing every opportunity that comes along for the sake of principle and finding someone that naturally approaches you the way you want, you're going to be here, or coming back off and on as you only fall for the people that know how to tell you what you want to hear, for a very long time.

because this is online dating, I would rather strike up a friendship first and see where it goes from there.

Because this is online dating, you are one profile in a sea of hundreds, thousands, and millions.

In a club you are 1 of 20 girls in a sea of 100 men.
Online you are 1 of thousands of women, and no sea of men.
Men don't see the profiles of other men.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Men aren't immediately competing with other men for each women, women are competing with each other.
There's a huge difference in the psychology.

I want to know what we have in common if anything at all and get to know the other persons personality a bit

What you want is worth about as much as a click on the next profile.
Otherwise, what you're asking for is the point of actual dating.

What works for you and what doesn't?

What works for me is avoiding people looking to build online relationships.
What doesn't work for me is holding anyone else, or their approach, responsible for my lack of dates.
Beachfarmer's photo

Beachfarmer

Thu 07/28/16 03:14 PM

rofl rofl rofl

Of course you could always "segment" your opening lines.
IgorFrankensteen's photo

IgorFrankensteen

Thu 07/28/16 03:42 PM

I never have, even TRIED to use "lines" or formulas to try to initiate anything. One of the reasons I'm alone, of course, since (despite repeated lofty claims to the contrary) most people do actually LIKE "lines." It seems to be a sort of test performance that most people use. In a funny way, it reminds me of the old upper class formal introduction systems I used to read about.

I think what it is, it's NOT that so many people are suckers for a good line. I think it's more a matter of comfort-with-the-familiar. When someone uses an obvious line, especially if they make it just slightly unique, it communicates immediately that they fully expect to deal with you within normal standards and practices of dating/mating.

If they use a really old bad line, it means that they don't respect the person, they just trotted out an old standard line to initiate negotiations for a one nighter. If they say something too esoteric and strange, they'll signal that they expect special treatment, and that they are going to be either weird, or very selfish with you.

There's a whole inner unspoken dialogue involved, in other words.

Anyway. I personally, am very straightforward and simplistic. I'll say flat out, specifically why I am writing. Usually with profiles, that means I don't play the "refer obliquely to something in the profile to prove you read it" game, Instead, I say "I saw in your profile, you said X, which I took to mean that you might enjoy such-and such that I enjoy as well." Or, if something they said made me think about something that was new to me, I'll express that with some thanks, or maybe ask for further explanation of the whatever.

One thing seems to be sort of a rule to accept: nothing in particular does or doesn't work.



Goofball73's photo

Goofball73

Thu 07/28/16 04:40 PM


Have you got any nice sisters


I'm gonna have to steal this one. laugh
BreakingGood's photo

BreakingGood

Fri 07/29/16 04:32 PM

I like to start off with questions to spur on a nice conversation.

I usually start out with something like:

You aren't actually that fat are you?

You aren't actually that young are you?

Do you still have both of your hands?

How flexible are you?

Are cucumbers your favorite vegetable?
TMommy's photo

TMommy

Fri 07/29/16 04:34 PM

let me see now...if I ever sent one

it would probably say

how's it going?
Beachfarmer's photo

Beachfarmer

Fri 07/29/16 04:39 PM

HEY!

Wanna SHAG?
tmh1063's photo

tmh1063

Fri 07/29/16 05:32 PM


I never have, even TRIED to use "lines" or formulas to try to initiate anything. One of the reasons I'm alone, of course, since (despite repeated lofty claims to the contrary) most people do actually LIKE "lines." It seems to be a sort of test performance that most people use. In a funny way, it reminds me of the old upper class formal introduction systems I used to read about.

I think what it is, it's NOT that so many people are suckers for a good line. I think it's more a matter of comfort-with-the-familiar. When someone uses an obvious line, especially if they make it just slightly unique, it communicates immediately that they fully expect to deal with you within normal standards and practices of dating/mating.

If they use a really old bad line, it means that they don't respect the person, they just trotted out an old standard line to initiate negotiations for a one nighter. If they say something too esoteric and strange, they'll signal that they expect special treatment, and that they are going to be either weird, or very selfish with you.

There's a whole inner unspoken dialogue involved, in other words.

Anyway. I personally, am very straightforward and simplistic. I'll say flat out, specifically why I am writing. Usually with profiles, that means I don't play the "refer obliquely to something in the profile to prove you read it" game, Instead, I say "I saw in your profile, you said X, which I took to mean that you might enjoy such-and such that I enjoy as well." Or, if something they said made me think about something that was new to me, I'll express that with some thanks, or maybe ask for further explanation of the whatever.

One thing seems to be sort of a rule to accept: nothing in particular does or doesn't work.






I like the way you think. Firstly because you are actually putting thought into what you are saying and showing that you have actually read their profile. You are showing that you actually have a genuine interest in that person and you are being sincere. I don't see how you can go wrong with that. That would be an introduction that would capture my attention and curiosity and I would want to know more and would answer you.
flowers
tmh1063's photo

tmh1063

Fri 07/29/16 05:34 PM


I like to start off with questions to spur on a nice conversation.

I usually start out with something like:

You aren't actually that fat are you?

You aren't actually that young are you?

Do you still have both of your hands?

How flexible are you?

Are cucumbers your favorite vegetable?



rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
tmh1063's photo

tmh1063

Fri 07/29/16 06:03 PM

There is no right or wrong answer to the question for sure. Personally what has worked for me is to be honest and sincere. I may mention a interest in their profile that we both share. And I may ask a question about an interest they have that I have always been curious about. I also try to share something about myself with them. I have had luck with this approach, but not always.

:wink: flowerforyou
Miccca003's photo

Miccca003

Fri 07/29/16 08:23 PM

I have read you message and am interest in it...If you don't we be friends and see it can lead us to
Suzanne20's photo

Suzanne20

Fri 07/29/16 08:31 PM

I rarely message anyone first. But I always try to make reference to their profile, common interests we claim to share.