Some kids get a pass when they act like completely normal kids and have a bad day, lash out, resist, cry, forget things, get mad at someone, or get angry about something. Other kids don’t.
Some parents get a pass when they drop off their crying child at school, send them with dirty clothes or tangled hair, expose them to sophisticated television or media, get behind on paying for lunches, or don’t attend functions because of busy work schedules. Other parents don’t.
Some people get to meet a friend at a Starbucks coffeeshop, and other people don’t.
I’m not suggesting there aren’t families that need extra support, counseling, financial help, or other structures to help them be the kind of family they want to be. And I’m not suggesting there aren’t children who are in dangerous situations and need advocates to get them out of those situations.
What I am suggesting is that we need to open up some conversations.
We need a more complicated and nuanced conversation about which children and families are perceived as needing state intervention, how race and class are playing a role in those perceptions, how economic resources and ways of “providing” are playing a role in those perceptions, and what – in reality – happens once a phone call is made to report suspected child abuse or neglect.
We also need a more open, expansive, and inclusive conversation about parenting from many different perspectives. In the state of Georgia corporal punishment is still allowed in schools, but a mandated reporter might report a family using corporal punishment. And “free range” parenting is now permitted by law in the state of Utah but those same practices might be perceived as neglectful by authorities depending on what the parents look like, talk like, and where they live.
Gandhi once said that “a nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members,” and our young people are indeed among our most vulnerable people. We can always do better with them and on their behalf. Picking up the phone and calling an authority doesn’t mean we have done our job.
http://www.myajc.com/blog/get-schooled/race-and-class-explain-why-some-parents-never-get-benefit-the-doubt/3U09rbojceMAyPgW0Y1dlM/
Are we responsible as a community for the children, or only as parents for OUR children?
I am opening dialogue because its something I think about often and wonder how many other parents and adults feel at least some collective responsibility towards 'the children', so to speak, biological or otherwise.
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