Amazing read. In fact I’m learning something from all this. like where patient spooks the doctor with his knowledge. on ‘father figure’ and ‘woman’; this may or may not be useful but here goes.
A father figure is rare, happens when a person is in his teens. I think D’ Amato was a father figure when Tyson was in his teens; and they had common interests. What we may hope for is Mentoring, like the boss training a new employee; or like in this thread.
Self mentoring can be by projection, as in religion. Christ and ‘My father’ concept. You probably know more since I am not a Christian.
Yet another way is by internalizing. Whether we accept it or not; there’s ‘a continuity in life’ and we are to a large extent what our parents were, but in a different time zone. This is natural and Dr Eric Berne structures this into a 3 state of ego in his book: ‘I’m ok; you are ok’. if you’ve not read it, he describes how we sometimes behave with ‘parental strictness’ or surrender to authority figures as a ‘child’. And how difficult it is to have an ‘adult’ level transaction with others because all of us have our emotional baggage
But the easiest way is to read a good book. You talk of driving in snow. I think
nobody knows snow like Jack London. I moved on to Hemingway.These days it is Trump's latest (sigh)
Coming to women, in my opinion any woman may admire your physique but would be ‘fearful’ to get closer. Imagine an argument, (women love to win more than men); and you answer back reflexively with a little slap that sends her tumbling. These things may not even have occurred to you but how is she to know? This is the unvoiced anxiety women have when they meet for the first time. It may be imagination but it is far greater than anything a man may ever say or do.
Second, if you are looking for a woman, say in her twenties; to ‘understand’ you that’s a wrong path. They want us to understand them. They want to be lovely; so we fall for them. The only time they fall is what’s teenage crush. On the other hand, what so we do? As soon as we get close, we begin to see flaws. There we have it; we don’t get past the child in us.
But you have an advantage here. Anyway you are ‘dead’ so why not challenge yourself to fall for that neighboring girl before dying?
--xx--
I don’t see your needing advice; just some conversation like the rest of us. As someone suggested you should post on other topics in the forums. I'm sure the guys in Sports would be interested.
My old opinion remains: a change of scene or job may do wonders. As they say, life flows with the challenger.
Best wishes.
PS: i checked back on your profile and saw that you've retained the negative spin on your exceptional driving skills. i know women can see through many things; but also on motor skills? .
Edited by
jaish
on Sun 05/05/19 09:41 AM