I'm not sure precisely what the 'awakening' is all about. But I think I have a clue.
I've always been close to nature. And I've always been naturally spiritual. There can be no doubt about that.
I was raised as a Christian, and even though I was fed the dogma I guess I never really swallowed it. I knew deep down in my gut that it was devoid of truth. At least in it's entirety.
I never had a problem with the moral teaching of Jesus. From my point of view that was just plain common sense. I mean if I had been around in the days of Jesus I would have simply agreed with everything he said (on a moral plane). I seriously doubt that Jesus ever claimed divinity. Or if he did, he meant it pantheistically, I'm sure.
I have always been in tune with the great spirit(s) from my earliest childhood. And I give the spirit the potential for being polydynamic because from my point of view its a moot concept. The demand that there be only one egotistical 'godhead' has never rung true in my soul.
I don't believe that spirit has an ego.
Having said that, I think the true 'awakening' is not so much the discovering of magick rituals, or of any particular religious 'dogma'. On the contrary, I think it's more of just the opposite.
I think we, as humans, have a very real need to envision the spirit in some way that we can identify with.
The Bible does this with pinpoint accuracy (not to imply that its correct, but rather that it demands a very precise and specific picture of God). People like this because it gives them something to put their finger on. Pantheism is a very abstract picture of God, and people have difficulty with it. It's far too nebulous for them to grab onto firmly. (At least this is true for western people). Clearly the people of the east have less problem with this. Although, even many eastern pantheistic religions have tended to become quite dogmatic in an attempt to make the 'god concept' more concrete.
I think one thing that the Wicca picture has done for me is allow me to view God in a very precise, yet still abstract manner.
And it's not just Wicca alone that did this. I've been thinking about many other religious concepts before I got here.
One is the concept of the Great Spirit of the North American Indians. They view spirit in everything. It's truly a pantheistic or pagan philosophy. However, even they had the tendency to assign the spirit to 'individual' things. Such as the spirit of the wolves, the spirit of the bear, the spirit of the forest, the spirit of the lake, the spirit of the river, and so one and so forth.
And even though I thought I understood those concepts I didn't really appreciate their depth until more recently.
Jeannie introduced me to tarot. Quite by accident really. Not that I never heard of tarot before that. On the contrary I had a cousin who was a which (not a Wiccan), and she used to read tarot for me many years ago. She had a lot of stuff, including a crystal ball that was really cool.
She was more of a 'Gypsy Witch' rather than a Wicca witch. But that's a whole other story.
Getting back to the tarot,...
I was attracted to the ART of the tarot deck, and I never truly understood tarot in the past. I knew what it was used for and something of the cards, but I didn't understand how to use them and I didn't even know the full story of the Fool.
Jeannie's artwork drew me to the cards. And I bought quite a few decks (over $200 I spent on tarot cards!!!)
You might think that was crazy but it was a good investment. It truly was. I
needed to get some tarot cards in my hands and feel what the hell was going on!
I bought a total of 6 tarot decks(carefully chosen). Out of those 6 I got 3 decks that have meaning for me. Owl list them here just for the curious cat.
Rider Waite (original)
Llewellyn tarot
Mystic Faerie tarot
These were far more than just decks of cards, and they all came with accompanying books.
I played with the cards, spreads, and readings. And I read the various stories of the journeys of the Fool.
I read with great intrigue the descriptions of the various cards and their meanings. Not just for these three decks above, but for all 6 decks that I had purchased. The three decks above were simply the most meaningful for me.
I saw in the Rider Waite deck the great influence of orthodox Christianity even though it also contains concepts that seem contradictory to that picture. And, of course, Christianity has never condoned tarot anyway, but none the less the religion had greatly influenced the production of the Rider Waite deck.
I saw in the Llewellyn deck the influence of Wicca and the Great Horned God which actually replaces the devil card in this deck, but if you read the book the description of the Horned God is very much like the Wicca Horned God and not at all like the biblical based Satan. There were many other differences as well. Including the journey of the Fool.
In the Mystic Faerie tarot I saw the Inner Child set free. The journey of the Fool was indeed of a child who traveled through the land of faeries and elves and was introduce to the magick of the elements, of the psyche, and of the Inner Child.
All of these descriptions of the tarot story, although different, conveyed a very enlightening ideals of the spiritual nature of the world and the human condition.
Having been primed by all of this, I came to your thread about Wicca, and ordered the books that you recommended as an introduction to the concepts. So this is like the culmination of a long journey.
It hasn't ended here, but as you have suggested there has been an 'awakening' of sorts, and I think that awakening has really come through the concept of both the female Goddess of the moon, and the Horned God of nature.
I realize now, that these abstract concepts are truly not meant to be taken as genuine 'deities', at least not in the sense of egotistical human-like beings. (although some people probably do view them as such).
However, for me, these are totally
abstract concepts. And they are concepts that I can truly identify with.
Now having said that I do view these concept as being genuine 'spirit'. So I'm not saying that they don't represent anything 'real'. I'm just saying that they aren't human-like deities, especially in the sense of being individual egotistical beings who have personal agendas. But they are useful tools to allow the visualization of the great spirit (god if you like). I love this picture because it carries with it both the feminine and masculine aspects of all creation, and it truly doesn't prioritize them. Even though popular definitions have Wicca being a religion that worships a feminine Goddess. I think they totally miss the value of the Horned God. (in fact they probably view the Horned God as some kind of demon). If that's the case then they are definitely off the mark.
(I'm hope I'm not hijacking your thread with these long-winded posts.

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I just wanted to follow up with a comment or two concerning the insight (or awakening) that I'm currently experiencing.
Putting all of this together, I see the Goddess of the moon (the Yin of the Universe), as the High Priestess in tarot. She is the mind. The cerebral center of the psyche.
I see the Horned God as the magician of tarot. Or 'The Holy Spirit' if you like. (He is the Yang of the Universe). Neither good nor bad, but simply all-encompassing. He is the one who hands out the powers of the earth, air, fire and water. It is his hand that is on the Ace of each pip card in a tarot deck. He's the giver of the magic. The distributor if you will. Not necessarily the sole source of power as the Goddess of the psyche is the seat of that.
And now for the fun part,...
The Horned God is both lazy and wise!
Wisdom is the mother of invention. It is the Horned God's job to pass out the power that the Goddess provides to all living things. But the Horned God doesn't want to run around waiting on everyone hand and food like some kind of Genie on speed. So what does he do?
He gives the power to the winds, and the trees, and the stones of the earth, and puts it in the flames of fire.
And then he's free to wander through the wilderness that he loves so much whilst the elements bestow the power of the Goddess to anyone who should ask via a simple incantation or ritual of respect for the power that is freely released by the elements upon request.
That's where I'm at Ruth.