I had been pondering a concept of self judgment and whether or not we are capable of truthfully judging ourselves.
It is a term and concept that I call Facing the Mirror.
I find that a mirror can actually help in illustrating this concept to attain true self judgment but why would one want to do something like this to themselves?
Self improvement mostly. There is always room for self improvement.
The issues against this working at all:
First of all the human heart is possessed by seven deadly sins. Granted the concept of "Seven sins" is Christian BUT there is foundation to this labeling of human weakness. But are sins weaknesses?
This is complicated but, no. The seven sins are part of our survival instincts but like instincts we appear to have no control of them. It is the loss of control or giving in to the urges rather than trying to heel them back that makes them sins. It is an over indulgence that makes them bad. Eating in itself is not bad. Eating sweet food is not bad. When you eat to the point of Obesity then it is a sin of gluttony. This is just one example of an instinct that becomes a sin.
The darkness and weakness of the human heart is a problem. If we had no pride at all we would be slovenly, lazy, pathetic wastes of skin. Too much pride becomes Narcissism and Vanity. It is these two things that interfere with truly viewing yourself in "the Mirror."
Second is the fact that we perceive everything from our own point of view. Without Empathy or Telepathy there is no way to get a second opinion that would count. It is impossible to feel or experience anything from another person's point of view. You can be told but are you able to take in everything that person is trying to say? Sometimes again the human heart and pig headedness manage to derail a truthful self evaluation.
Third is fear. We fear what we do not know or understand innately. We also fear that what we may feel about ourselves is overly reactionary and critical but are too afraid to face it and the consequences that come.
Religion plays into this part of self evaluation. Many people give up the ability to face themselves and give that up to a higher power. As an example, in Christianity one is forgiven of their sins by accepting Jesus as your savior and lord (which is utter poppycock) to allow them to overlook the fact they are perverted lying backstabbing self indulgent pieces of human debris. Their sinful nature is absolved. With God in the way there is no way one can judge themselves for themselves.
In summary to this just being human works against being able to rationally look at ones self and see the faults that lie there.
With that aside there is a flip side to this.
You can be far too over critical of yourself as well. We either refuse to look at the mirror or we stare into it too long. We distort the image and sometimes we see a hideous monster where we should just see our self. Other times we see nothing but Beauty incarnate. All we see is perfection or abomination.
To look into the mirror is not an easy thing. In my mirror I seen a hate filled angry mouse. It is frustration at not having the power to affect serious change and protect itself from the evil it is surrounded by. With the mouse is a monster. It is darkness and profanity. It is the thing that whispers bad things in my ear and it is faceless. It is my evil side. I also seen myself an animal but not in the sense of a bestial thing. I seen myself as a creature like all others. I realized that I was no better than the fly annoying me buzzing me one too many times. Its most basic wants and needs were exactly the same as mine.
When I finally realized what I was seeing I also came to the realization that it was a part of me religion had tried to submerge. I could no longer rationalize good and evil in the same light. I seen my evil side and came to a realization that no matter how much I didn't like it evil was a part of me as much as the good. I have done bad things I knew were wrong in the past and I probably will do other bad things as well. In this revelation I found that Evil was my survival instinct and that it did have its place as long as I didn't let it take control and become over indulgence.
IN this knowledge I have found a strange but incomplete inner peace. I sincerely hope that I see myself truthfully but I try to keep in mind that I see things through colored glasses sort of. Ultimately I embraced my evil half and tried to come to an accord with it. My evil half is like a embarrassing family member like a big brother who cannot keep out of trouble and keeps punching you in the shoulder hard. But conversely he is the one person who will stand by you no matter what. I just accept it for what it is. it is there whether I like it or not. Like God I have found myself between good and evil and in this place I choose balance. It is the most one could hope to achieve in life.
The fact is we may never find the one real love in our lifetimes. The odds are against it. A lot of time we can find compromise but in all reality we want in our hearts to find the one that will make us complete. It is part of human nature. No one can actually fix you or change you. Change comes from within first. Sometimes there are things you cannot change and acceptance of that is just as hard as trying to improve yourself.
You know when you are successfully looking into the mirror when you see yourself and know what you are looking at is you for as flawed and imperfect as you are. You will see what you need to change and what you should leave alone. It is a sense of inner peace that helps strengthen you on your journey through life when you realize yourself. It is finally realizing who and what you are. It is not about making some spiritual realization. Looking in the mirror is all about trying to see yourself for who you are without judgment and fear. Looking in the Mirror is trying to find peace within. The Mirror is the thing we use to see our self.
Have you ever pondered the band name "Third Eye Blind" as a concept in itself. It applies here because the Third Eye looks out from us like our own eyes. You cannot use it to see you from within. The Mirror is what helps up look upon our self while looking with the third eye.
On a final thought, if you think you are lonely think about God. Do not think of God in any sense other than imagine being the supreme consciousness. There would be no other like you. All those thoughts and no one to share them with. No challenge to your existence, nothing remotely equal to you, and self mutilating boredom! I think the one reason God gave us free will was to see if any of us would choose to elevate ourselves to being like he, she, it, whatever. Without a right and wrong choice there is no learning.
Heck, God may not even have any choice in Its existence because if God is all knowing and all powerful God must act on what God knows and God has no choice in the matter because God Knows WHY already.
If you hadn't noticed I like to chew on Theologists for breakfast!
Try discussing the concept of God being Good and Evil because God is all things with a Christian some time!
FUN STUFF!
Also there is a episode of LEXX called "the Beach" in the third season where Stanly Tweedle had died and stood between heaven and hell in final judgment of himself. He met himself and his "self" was not exactly understanding. Stanly wound up being his own condemnation. It is an interesting illustration of this article. Great show. Highly recommended.
Don't forget to take time to smell the roses!
Yes it is Krimsa
