Ok, so I have had a chance to watch several episodes of Sister/Wives and found it to be both interesting and informative.

More so, because back in the day "1979-LOL", when I was a young man, I was in a similar situation with two girlfriends (Shelby & Diane) and we all lived together in a mostly blissful existence for two years and nine months.

Then Shelby's family found out that there was more than just me.

Let me clarify: There was absolutely no sexual interest between Shelby and Diane, but when they discovered that Diane was also equally significant in my life, that was the beginning of the end.

Shelby and I called it off, because I was unwilling to see her go through any further torment from her mother and father and after six nights of discussing what was best for all of us, she also finally agreed to end it.

Shortly thereafter (two months and eleven days) Diane and I also closed the door on our relationship.

It was one of the saddest days I have ever experienced, when I had to take control over what my heart wanted and make the decision to do what was hopefully best for Shelby.

And to this day, I truly believe that was what caused the end of Diane and I also.


And the reason I believe this? Because neither Shelby or Diane had biological sisters and they absolutely loved each other "and fought with each other" like sisters.

Yet they were as different as night and day in the way they approached life. And it was in this difference that they found comfort with each other.

So, .... having said all that, what say ye?

Good for the goose, good for the gander. If everyone involved are at peace with their lifestyle who am I to throw them off of the swing?

Life Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness! As long as it isn't a lie...

If a man can put up with 1-5 wives more power to him!

Personally not something I would be interested in, but between consenting adults whatever works for them. I have friends who are polyamorus and it works for them and others who say they are but their relationships blow up. It all seems to be about open communication.

As far as the Sister/Wives show, I find the irony in that when the family was on Oprah and she asked if the women could have more husbands he got all kinds of pissed off.

Yes, I also watched the DVR of the Orah show of that and I agree with your assessment of the reaction he had EquusDancer.

But then, each to their own. Personally, I think it depends on who you are and what you want out of a relationship.

I also have some very close friends who practice this lifestyle. Rachel has two hubbies (both are handfasted to her) and they have been together for a tad over twelve years. I have talked to both of the hubbies and what I get from them is they are very content. But then Rachel is a very dominating woman and both hubbies are at ease with her running the show, "so to speak". And when I queried them about how they would feel if one or more women were to be involved in the relationship, both were quite adamant about why this would not work for them.

And although I also was a tad scornful of his reaction, (what is good for Tommy, should be good for Nancy too) after assessment, I realized that each of us are different and unique and so what I might like, others may not.

I would say the key to this is being respectful of others choices, unless those choices brings harm to the ones involved. And I truly don't feel that anyone should force anyone else to conform to their idea of what is a right and proper lifestyle, if in fact, that lifestyle is good for those involved and causes no harm.

I agree with you AndyBgood, it is important to keep in mind that just because one person in a relationship may want more, it doesn't give them the right to coherce and cajole their partner into a type of relationship that could ultimately bring some degree of harm to the person being forced into this type of relationship.

Both must want this type of lifestyle (for good reason) before committing to it.

Personally, I could never be with more than two as I believe this would be more harmful to me than it would be good.

But I do like the idea of Sister/Wives, as I was able to experience firsthand what it meant to both Shelby and Diane. They truly loved each other and shared moments with each other that I was not privilaged to share.

It was only after Shelby had left, that Diane expressed this to me and I began to understand how important it was to her to have someone of her own gender to talk to and share moments with.

Needless to say, back then, this was quite a learning curve for me...

Yeah, the couple I know who this worked for, sat down and discussed any changes. The both could bring in people, without an issue. They were careful and smart about it.

if i could have two husbands, maybe I could go out on a limb for it.

EquusDancer I would think that it wouldn't need to be a matched pairing or if you get someone, I also can get someone.

I would think it would depend more on who you were and what you wanted. And if your a couple, decide what it is that works for you...

For example: SwimsForRealsGirl has expressed a wish for two husbands. This is the true defining aspect of what she would like to have.

I wholeheartedly approve of her choice.

If she has a strong personality and seeks a Polygany relationship, one that is based upon love, honor and respect, there is no reason that she should not seek out and find that relationship.

All too often, I have heard many people speak about the Sister/Wives and say that the women should be allowed to seek out other men also. But that is not what their relationship is based upon.

So in my honest opinion, it would be fundamentally unfair to assume that this is what the Sister/Wives want. They do not seek out nor wish for different men. And they enjoy their relationships with each other as Sisters and this becomes quite obvious when the show is watched through several episodes.

So Swimforrealsgirl you go for it. just make sure you seek based upon love and not lust. Else the triad will surely fail.

In truth, Love Conquers All.

That's kind of what I'm getting at. In their relationship, they were both able to bring folks in. Some won't go that way. But their biggest thing was communication. They sat down and discussed any changes beforehand.

The ones who failed said "We have an open relationship" and didn't discuss it after the initial talk. Then it became some sort of twisted jealousy thing and their relationship(s) imploded and rather nastily at that.

I think its too bad you (she) allowed her family to butt into your relationship. If that is the sole reason for the break, which it probably isn't, it (the breakup) should not have happened.

I see you are a Scorpio. You are perfectly suited to having more than one wife and might have a problem staying faithful to only one woman, according to what most Scorpios are said to be like. (Horney, adventurous.) (I know I probably couldn't handle a Scorpio.)

I hope you meet the next two women of your dreams.

Im a scorpio, and I would prefer one man thank you...

PS. It's fine for their personal choice, but they need to stop breastfeeding off the govt funds.....

How is breastfeeding off govt funds connected to this subject? Explain.

p.s. as far as Scorpio's I did not mean to imply that all Scorpio's are that way.

Breastfeeding off our govt funds is more of a problem in states where this type of lifestyle is more tolerated. Although they are respected in their lifestyle, specific state laws that prevent a man from legally marrying more than one partner at a time LEGALLY, allow the other wives and their children to be claimed on welfare. Food Stamps, Medical, and cash aide has a direct effect from these lifestyle choices when LAWS prevent them from going about their choice in a feasible way.

By no means am I saying they are getting enough funding for their child support, but realistically, if a man has two to three kids with say 4 wives, and can not afford to pay for all the groceries and supplies from his job then yes they are working the system. And this is no secret....it has been an ongoing problem so dont act naive about having not heard of this issue before.

(i am not offended about thoughts on scorpios, although I have never cheated on anyone in my life, we are also well known for loyalty, I do enjoy a lot of physical attention by one man who is capable of providing it) Also i am not Bi-sexual. In meaning, just because some of our senses are heightened, LOL, I am only happy with the tools a man can offer. personal preference)

Here is just one of several articles throughout several years----

This particular piece is from cbsnews

"What happens is a man marries one wife, she's his legal wife, then he marries ten other wives in the church, and all the other wives are, by law, single women, so they have all these children with him, and they all get welfare."

The more kids, the bigger the welfare check, Kauffman points out.

"Some of the women in this town have 26 babies," Allen told her.

And the women, Kauffman adds, have no choice. The fundamentalists believe a man needs three wives to get into heaven. And the wives exist for one reason: to make babies.

(this article is from 2008, but you can go and research this topic and there are years and years and years of proof of this continuing problem.)

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/10/earlyshow/main4005519.shtml

I have heard of the issue of unwed mothers who do this all the time but I did not attach it to that kind of lifestyle, but yes I can see how easy that would be.

If a man wants two wives he should support them and their children.

But so many men refuse to support any of their children, divorced, married or not.

Damn, what kind of evil religious cult is that?? That's just sick!!

I agree, but theirs a smaller dent when support is for 1 or 2 children versus say 13 in one family, times that by all the families who choose to live that way...and there are a lot more than we as a public are exposed too. I am not knocking the lifestyle choice at all, but perhaps more so the laws that prevent them from going about it legitimately.

You dont see gays sitting around sucking their thumbs, they are actively trying to get their right to the marraige they want, polygamist-- not so much, cuz they know how much they are getting out of the deal. A heck of a lot more than say a single parent trying to raise her children on her own.

I am not on any financial aid, I have three children and I am divorced. Fortunately, my ex has chosen to remain employed at least for the time being (fingers crossed) He tried to avoid his child support of course, but i went straight through the court, cuz I know better than to trust a snake in the grass. They just follow his ss# now and hope he keeps his job. OH and I still have two jobs, I do not collect spousal support from him. I support myself.

I've been pulling off polygamy for a couple years now, juggling between two and eight people at a time. I find polygamy to be a wonderful thing as long as everyone understands that everyone else has the same rights you do in the relationship. And as for 'loving family members' forcing others out of it, if you really love the person you're with, it doesn't matter who says what because you have your support team to lift your spirits and share tasty snack cakes with.

Not for me at all, but if others are happy with it, more power to them!