Is it wrong for older men(50&up) to want to date or mate with
younger women.(30's or so)
Who is the judge and what is the virdict.
Maybe the question should be is it wrong for younger women to date and mate older men.
whats your thoughts?
My thoughts are, five years on either side of your own age is right in my opinion. This age range choice for a mate to me would be a natural selection thinking of physical and mental health, similiar life values by upbringing, etc. The mates then are more closely matched. Also, aging together has benefits for a longer life with your mate.
Each person is there own judge. It seems like the topicmaster though rather than asking the question is looking for back up on what he wants ... a mate 20 years younger and by the wording of the question it looks like a guilt issue or they know it is not right but want others to say it is for assurance?
Why would you want someone so much younger is a question that comes to my mind. Do you see a true healthy love relationshp existing when there is such an age gap? For, I cannot see it as so.
I am not aware of any governing laws in the legal system to judge what should be or not but I do believe the elderly(beacuse of abuse & swindling finances issues) and the young (robbing them of natural growth development in life) should be protected as they are most vulnerable. I see the young marrying an older man or woman loses out in life in the long run. It is said the younger get older faster while the older one gets younger in such a relationship. The younger one did not experience the inbetween years but is thrust to grow up quicker missing 2 or 3 decades of natural growth.
I see large gaps in interests having been raised in different eras, meaninful conversation would be nil due to age and life experience factors, interests due to physical health may be an issue as would likes an dislikes in what you would like to do especially as the older one in the relationship retired and the other would be at their prime in their career. Men of fifty dating women of 30 is too much of a difference in my opinion.
I truly believe lives are robbed of the full richness of livelihood by marrying a man or woman 20, 30 years their senior. My opinion. Another thing I would wonder about is, and something to think about is, family relations, i.e. having a wife/husband and a child around the same age causes family breakups and problems I have known that to happen. It is not natural. I see it as destructive in many ways than benefical is my opinion or my thought.
Think it out wisely is another thought in dating to mate someone 20 years younger than you. Your conscience should be your guide. It is you which has to live with your choice in life and with any consequences due to your choice you make. Even though you ask who is to judge, you know no one is to judge anyway. You ask for a verdict, rather consultation from others to derive at a good decision is a better way to go. Once you make your bed you have to lie in it. You will get older will you be abused, robbed and left ... would the younger lady up and leave you once you body starts to break down which in your fifties is starting to naturally. Could it be mid-life crisis that needs to be dealt with before making choices in finding a mate 20 years younger. Think of the young lady's life and how it will be affected.
Thanks for asking for my thoughts.
Edited by
WholesomeWoman
on Mon 04/02/12 11:44 AM