Yay, I don't waste my time with anyone who can't post a pic. Even if they use an avatar, like me at least have one legit pic for viewing on your profile.

FLIP SIDE: I met a guy one and he was not the one in the pic. Luckily we just at a starbux down the street. Stupid jerk. Like a foot shorter than me and NOT THE HOT man in the pic with the sexy tattoos. Boo. That's the only time tho I've ever met someone who wasn't who they said they were.

Of course looks are important but in reality a poor personality or "ugly" on the inside will supersede a cute face or body. Looks are important but they are not more important than a chitty personality.

Both appearance and personal characteristics are important. If people did not value appearance, photos would be irrelevant -- but they all but required.

Looks without substance may be sufficient for "arm candy" but are not to be taken seriously (as I have learned through experience). However, substance without some reasonable physical appeal is no better (personal experience again).

Ok...all of this is valid.

But what about us people who ain't ugly..are real lover's..got a job...and just really want to share our actual adult life with someone who wants love?

I found a good woman here...there is no damned reason the rest of you cant find your lover here.

Allow me to point out the obvious..

There is one common denominator in your failed relationships ...you.

If you ain't willing to change for a good love...

You may be better off alone.

what is it that we should change (asking in earnest)?

Only IF you know that it was your direct fault the relationship broke up; perhaps it was NOT your fault as sometimes it may well have been the other person's fault and you do not need to change a damn thing. Only your conscious knows for sure. Proceed from that point. You may not need a guilt trip; you know the old saying,' why be normal when you can be happy'...or is it the other way around...?

"Failed relationships"? I have been involved in several wonderful relationships that eventually terminated for one reason or another.

That they were not "till death do us part" is no indication of "failure." Those were remarkable women and our time together was rewarding and fulfilling. Some stay in touch at least occasionally (one from fifty years ago).

We each went on to other adventures and other relationships -- but still think highly of each other and "are there" for support or an intelligent conversation.

Failure? I don't think so.

Regarding "change for a good love": I absolutely do not expect anyone to change substantially in order to be in a relationship with me and I damn sure am not about to change anything important. Little things I might consider -- and did stop smoking my pipe at a lady's request on two different occasions -- once for 25 years and once for five.

Should one take up religion, or become an animal lover, or "dumb it down", or become sedentary to entice someone into a relationship?

well I like being happy whether it's normal or not

I haven't had to change for anyone. I work on my faults for myself. If my boyfriend has faults, I tell him, lol. But I mean like being tardy, or cheap. But he accepts me and I accept him. We're both scorpios, similar and different in many ways. Most people break up because they DO CHANGE into someone else, not the person you fell in love with.

When I said "change "...I was referring to me being willing to change things about myself in order to grow the relationship.

It ain't easy!

I would never seek to change my woman and honestly ...I like myself.

However...after a while...I could see that a few of my patterns weren't condusive to our mutual harmony.

I try to change myself to be a better lover everyday.

Most people aren't willing to change.

That was what I was referring to.

OK thanks

and I agree. One's own decision that they WANT to change is the key. I have no problem with changing some things....heck I have implemented several personal changes in the last year at my own behest :)

and yes, at some point, for a relationship to work long term, the individual becomes less important the the ONEness of the couple. but I guess that is hard for people to understand.

True dat

Yes anyone can change for the better, but I hate when people change to try and fit in just to be accepted by others. You made a lot of changes, like moving so far, I'm sure that was a big change you made to accomplish your relationship at the level you wanted it to be. I agree with those type of changes but no one should change because their partner says too unless it's something like they are alcoholic or use to many cuss words, lol.

i thought the ladies "GET IT" more than any of us guys, now i have to rethink this stuff. we need to stop the games and get real...yes i understand why girls test us,because they have to....you walk up to a guy and say, are you honest ? he will think in his head what can he say so you will see him in a good light....we are already hiding behind our personas. our real self needs to feel safe to come out thats just to start,, there is more to it than that.......

I dont think its rude, but i gotta admit it is nice to at least put a face on who your talking to

I hate looking at profile and not seeing who I'm talking to. I ask someone for photo and they wanted my cell number to send one. No that ain't gonna happen!!

I don't have profile picture too. But i was surprised that some guys are still viewing my profile, even messaging me. Im confused!

They should have a pic up if they are trying to date. I skipping over them.

Such an old thread ..I am more interested if Krupa is soufie's Krupa

can't say for sure blondey but i believe yes