How do you start a new relationship when you been in a relationship and married for 14yrs and just recently separated with a 3 year old you have at weekend he lovely and means everything to me. I really have no idea how to meet or start a new relationship anyone reading this thank you
Well having been there and gone through it; my sympathy. (I had custody BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.) I would just say try to stabilize your own life first and maybe let the dating, at least one on one, take a back seat until the dust clears.
You are married a long time and you have a kid so you never know what may actually shake out in a separation.
Don't need to complicate your life with a rebound relationship and end up with even MORE issues.
Making a new set of friends, a few will inevitably fall out of the loop now you are single, can be a good goal. I am not saying all male just maybe not the kind you date or at least start out thinking of dating. A lot of older people are raising younger kids so don't skip over groups for parents in new situations or only think of peer age friends.
I DISAGREE that your kid should not see your friends. NOTICE I say friends NOT bed buddies in your home while the kid is there. You want to really screw with your kids head start being a marytr and so when you finally do have a "girlfriend" it is some big abnormal thing your kid and his Mom are going to freak out about. Join a family gym, the PTA, church, parks and recreation family league, Habitat for Hummanity; heck go to Home Depot and take a class how to build kid furniture you will meet people you have things in common with (BESIDES the getting in the sack thing ) and you will be a lot less lonely. If you are not just lonely the whole sex thing will be more tolerable and you will make better choices.
Be smart have some place to entertain said new friends AWAY from home. This allows you to cull the lemons and not look like an orphan to be pityied until you do get your act together. A Parents Without Partners clubhouse was a God send for me years ago as was Friends who shared a cabin at a campground. Later it was called timeshare but hardly a new concept. Parks and recreation have patios or buildings you can rent for a couple BBQ's and a couple of holiday parties a year. You actually participate in a church it is not uncommon for them to have things for single parents.
Keep in mind you are not going back to the single frat days you are setting home up for you and your kid as it is now and forever. Build a good foundation of what works as a Parent and a Man. It doesn't have to look like Mommies but it should still feel like home for your kid even when he is not there; no sleeping on the couch or sharing the bed. If you are not rolling in the dough and taking some financial hits you don't need a string of people running in and out and landlord problems. I found a walk in pantry with a window door from Habitat for a few bucks can make a good nursery/little kid room and a long low dresser for the living room TV stand for their "Dad" clothes and toys makes a one bedroom place bearable until you can afford better.
Since I assume you are a normal healthy male on most levels if you REALLLLLLY must get laid then have someone that is at least an hour away so it is more than inconvienent for them to "drop" by and spend a couple bucks on motel. If it turns out the first romance sticks then you can add the new female with the other female/male friends you already have.
Word to the wise keep your dating life out of town and away from where you are going to cross paths with someone who is quite likely to turn out to be a spy for your Ex. This means OFF LINE. Custody fight get really nasty when it gets down to the nitty gritty.
