OCTOBER 6, 2015
Man, 53, Calls 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/misuse-911/man-calls-911-over-lack-of-***-674920/

A South Carolina man called 911 early this morning to complain that his girlfriend would not have sex with him, according to an arrest report.

When a cop responded to his Spartanburg residence, Patrick Doggett, 53, “stated he called 911 because his girlfriend, Ms. Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ***.”

Woodruff told police that Doggett had been drinking all day and “didn’t know where he was at.” She added that Doggett got into bed and wanted to have sex, but “she had her grandchild with her.”

So, Woodruff noted, Doggett "got up and then dialed 911."

Doggett, who was outside the residence drinking an alcoholic beverage when police arrived, was arrested for public intoxication and booked into the county jail (where he remains locked up this afternoon).

Doggett has not been cited for misusing the 911 system, according to jail records.
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MAN CALLS 911 BECAUSE GIRLFRIEND REFUSED SEX:
http://youtu.be/6S6vdM2A9jc/

That link is HILARIOUS Sassy....LOVED this one!

"" Cops: "Irate" Suspect Kicked Other
Woman In Face After Victim Farted
Near Her

As she was being transported to jail, a Florida
woman became “irate” and kicked another
female detainee in the face after the victim
“‘farted’ near her,” police allege.
Jeanelle Callahan, 48, was busted
Thursday afternoon after she punched her
male roommate in the face, according to
an arrest affidavit. Callahan, who was
reportedly “highly intoxicated,” left the
man with a bloody nose.
Following that misdemeanor collar,
Callahan was placed into a jail transport,
where she encountered Virginia Turner, 60,
who had been arrested for trespassing.
Both women were handcuffed in the police
vehicle.
En route to the county lockup, “the
suspect claimed that Virginia Turner
‘farted’ near her,” reported Officer Stephen
Zulauf . Callahan became “irate” and attempted
to strike Turner in the face with her elbow.
Callahan then “raised her right leg and kicked
Virginia Turner’s right side of her face.”""

rofl:

Even the tags, at the bottom are funny
Tags:
Fart, flatulance, Florida


And the Popper Scooper
Tags:
Pooper Scooper, Assault Florida.


What's going on down there ?

OMG... I am not sure which one is more absurd or funnier..
Great job both of you..

Swamp water.

The 2nd one posted by Archer sounded more like a case of swamp gas