I have been running this through my mind since you put this thread up..
I hope I can explain it.

I may respect one's ability, because of a myriad of skills, knowledge,talents etc.. But may think that themselves as a human being is pretty dismal.

I may really like someone for their wit, intelligence and despise the way they treat others,their ethic's ...etc...

Whether I like someone or not is totally emotional I have to connect on that level.

Now to Love someone I have to connect not only emotional, but intellectually and I have to respect them. .

I do respect all beings whether it plant, animal, human, land etc.. That is just me..Now in saying that they have my respect because they are a living entity..

Now to obtain my trust and gain a deeper respect from me that takes time. When I give my respect my trust is given at the same time in degrees...When that trust is broken, I am very slow to ever give it again I wish I could say sure it will be rebuilt. But I know myself very well..

To lose the respect can happen in may ways. I think the easiest way is to deceive me or themselves.

Corrupt, or complete lack of of ethics.

Well, Ugg here. Me think.......
Lie is waste of time. The spear flies true to the heart of matter.
Cavewoman look at Ugg with warm eyes, when him bring home brontosaurus bacon.
Ugg must be true, the moon, the stars the sun,,, and those funny green men with monolith.
My time will soon pass.
I chose my life as a standard, I pass.
Ugg know one day, my children will know.
Their forefather was true,
To the cause of being human.

I agree with you that the spectrum for respect and for liking a person is way broader than people imagine.

But I don't believe that the basis for you losing respect for a person, is as subjective as you make it sound.

I would venture to say that offenses such as gratuitous dishonesty to others, and a number of other gratuitous offenses would evoke disrespect in you for a person no matter what relationship you had with them

Hi KieMea

I like what you said about liking having an emotional base, versus respect which has a more logical base.

And you and MsHarmony share the sentiment that respect is the assumed stance we adopt before and when meeting anyone. I call it civility. With regard to what you said about having respect for others views, ideologies etc, I actually think that that type of respect falls under the umbrella of basic civility like basic social etiquette, and I find it refreshing that you see it the same way. Many think that you have to love what people think in order to respect it. And on a more complexed note, I think you can respect a person's right to their differences in views , but not respect THEM specifically because you dont support their views or value system.

Respect can be a very complexed issue.

As for what you said about the emailers and your profile, girl ... don't get me started ! It annoys me too.

But you might want to consider that most people don't even read the profiles we have taken the time to create, so them ignoring your wishes is ofen motivated by a lack of knowledge , as opposed to wanton disreguard .

This is the first time I am hearing this proverb Star, and I like it alot. Thanks for sharing it!

This is a great explanation Sitka! It actually encapsulates the fundamental elements of the contributersin this thread.

I think Ms Harmony referred to the trust you mentioned, as dependability . It makes sense that if trust is tied in with respect that it follows that the loss of trust would eventually translate into a deterioration of love.

Well said Sitka!

I hope this makes sense to you since I am not sure if I can really explain it.
It is and so much more than dependability to me.

When I choose to trust it goes all the way through my core of who I am. So therefore when it is broken it takes me a while to regain my footing.

And respect is that yes and not so much to that degree with most people.

That type of respect you are talking here is with alover yes.. I was encompassing all friends family, colleagues etc.

I admire your ability to develop that kind of trust in anyone Sitka.

I thing we as human beings are so incurably flawed that I always leave room for disappointment in my head.

It's actually my number one secret to maintaining sanity

Thats high on most of our lists of offenses Rockgnome

Lie no good and good no lie ...

very nice dear

I think if they like someone, they still don't feel they need to show respect for the person. As long as they let the person know that they like them. They could say stuff to the person they like, such as "I think you're a good person to hang with", yet that isn't actual confirmation that they will respect the person. They are just telling someone that they like them.





Well, something happened to me in the past, with this certain man. We were only friends, until one day, he proposed to me. I didn't see it coming, because we were just friends. However, I felt very flattered. I told him that I think we'd make a good pairing, so I agreed to marry him. Then the next morning, I heard him saying to one of his friends "I'll find myself a nice german woman to marry". He didn't know that I'd heard him telling him. So as I was eating my breakfast, he walks into the dining room. He puts his arms around me. That was his usual way of greeting me every morning. He then said "How's my lovely lady doing today?". I tried not to smile back at him. I almost lost it with him. I said "I'll be alright. No need to worry about ME", and didn't say anything more to him. He looked confused. After breakfast, I confronted him about it. He kept stammering. I then told him "I don't think I want to marry you anymore. You can't seem to make up your mind". Then I walked off. I wasn't going to put up with a time waster. I think he thought he was some kind of greek adonis. . Glad it was the last I saw of him.


In general, if a man likes to brag about how many women like him or want him, that will be a red flag for me. It makes no odds to me how popular a man is. That never mattered to me. I have no clue why one man bothered telling me. I felt nauseus as soon as he started bragging. Yet he'd always ask me what he looked good in, or about what I thought of him. I just gave up on him in the end. I don't do braggers.

Based on what you saud Mary, one might say liking is more if an emotiin whereas respect is an attitude.

Thats a very unusual experience you had Mary.

I cant imagine what my reaction would be if a friend of mine popped a surprise proposal.


I always say it takes time to know different sides of a person.

I have a friend who started a relationship with her best friend of the last 4 years.

After they got involved , she saw a completely different side of him., and after 3 years of fighting up with the relationship , the two of them dont even talk anymore.

People are so complexed arent they Mary?

I relate to what you said about the braggers . I dont find it attractive either .

LOVE and RESPECT are always together in human life. If you love someone;then;you respect that person .

If you decide to love someone;that's mean; he or she is an honest,sincere;gold heart and many more qualities you appreciate.I'm talking about sentimental love.

losing respect?...his or her personal qualities have failed

On the other hand; you can only feel respect for a person(boss,colleague,etc); no love is involved. But this; is another situation.

The exact way each person defines the terms matters, of course.

My own peculiar set of experiences with "liking" and "respect" have given me a slightly different attitude about them.

I have run into too many people, for example, who straight up use the concept of 'respect,' as a selfish way to use and even abuse people.

What they do is, they declare some aspect of a target person, be it their own misbehavior, or even their ignorance/innocence, makes them someone they don't have to respect as an equal human being. Then they proceed to use the target for their own satisfactions, whether it's something straightforward as using them for selfish sexual pleasure, or injuring them physically for sadistic pleasure, or more subtly, using them politically as a sort of straw man, to make themselves feel self-righteous.

I STRONGLY dislike people who use their lack of respect for someone else in any of these ways, because I have found that none of them are themselves honorable in any aspect of their lives. You can count on people who do these things to abuse you, should it become beneficial to them, and they wont think anything of it.

Several people mentioned showing respect for a person in a particular position, such as an officer of a company. I would refer to this as showing respect for the office itself, for the structure of the institution. This is why I am thoroughly disgusted with people who treat politicians they disapprove of with overt disrespect and derision. I didn't like Nixon after he behaved so badly, but I would never refer to him with disparaging names while he was in office, because that would mean I was tearing down the fabric of the United States itself.

I've never known or seen anyone who indulged in name-calling of any kind, who were worthy of respect for their opinions. All of them were clearly worshiping themselves. Besides, there's an old saying that you can't throw mud without dipping yourself into it first.

when someone lyes to you thats when you loose respect.

Playing games is a big turn off. Why not be honest instead?