Why does it always feel like nobody wants an individual that has a kid. It's not "baggage". I'm just a family starter kit. Hope one day someone will want to be around me

Hi Kenny,
Don't worry about it! If a woman loves you, she will love your kids too. The reason some of them are careful because there are many scammer who try to gain sympathy by showing how helpless they are being a single dad!!
But it is offcourse not true! take it easy, you'll find your queen who will love your kids as much as she would love you. Then you know it is true LOVE!!
Sohana

Hi Kenny, as a single mom myself I feel the same way. That's why I havent dated since having him but I know there has to be someone out there that feels the same way or maybe can't have kids so they want a ready made family. Either way keep your head up and know there is someone out there .

Gladly the X and I stayed together until our children were grown and on their own before we ended. I have no personal reference to what you are going thru.
I can tell you how I view a woman who is a single mother.

I am not against courting a woman with a child/children as long as the relationship is about her and I first. I know that children mean a lot to every parent and I am not making light of needing a healthy relationship with them as well but the simple fact is that I am looking for someone special on a mature level first. I am not looking for a family I am looking for someone for me. If she is not right for me, any relationship we have will be wrong. That is not fair to me, her or her children. As long as her and I have what it takes then accepting her children shouldn't be a problem.

If I do date a woman with a child (I have). One of the things that is important in the courtship is her ability to conduct herself as a woman when appropriate and a mother when needed. If she can't concentrate on us because she has to constantly check on her child/children then she needs to forego dating and remain at home with her children. I have raised 4 children and I know what is involved. There must be a separation between being a parent and being themselves. I don't want a mother I want a partner.

Another thing that matters is how well she accepts and conducts herself as a parent. The courting is to see the whole person. If her children are well taken care of and healthy in mind, body and spirit and she is also healthy in mind, body and spirit it tells me she has a grip on the situation. She may be really tired but that comes with the job. If her children are out of control or her affairs are in turmoil she will be stressed and frankly, I don't really want that in my life.

I can't say what a woman looks for in a man with a family, I'm not a woman. I am pretty sure she will want you to actually be with her when you are with her and will appreciate it if you have morals and integrity with your children. You can be a good provider but not have a healthy relationship with your children and she will notice that.

I wish you luck. Taking care of and providing for a family is tough enough with both parents. As a single dad you have your hands full but try not to forget who you are in the process. It will be you that attracts her and 'your' personality that will keep her.

hang in there OP

there are those of us single moms who actually PREFER a man with chilren who can understand the 'balance' of priorities and responsibilities that won't always allow it to be all about him or 'us'

Like Tom said, some want that all about us/all about me, and thats fine too.

For those of us with kids though, its not possible.

Ar~~~just giving those whom is single more chance....go find another one who devoced....you know what i'm meaning right? some time we can see one's truth face from it. it is realy comlicating about descripting such thing......before two were married.....every thing looks good.....do you having the same scence about this?

Wow. Let's simplify it a bit. As a single father, anyone who considers my daughter baggage is baggage and should be left at the baggage claim aisle for someone else who can handle that level of selfishness.

true! Children are gifts from God.

they are gifts from God!! I know that someday youll find a girl who will accept your kid/s.
In time soon.

just enjoy your time with your kid/s first.

If I was 20 yrs younger I'd gladly date a guy with little kids - I love children.

I find more people really do not mind if you have children. It is more of your civil with the other parent. Its unattractive and might scare people off if that sode of the fence is dramatic.

I totally agree.