Hi, I have a 10yold niece turning 11 soon and she is a very naughty girl.
I mean when I say naughty, it's naughty and I can't seem to get her to behave.
She does when she's around other people but when she's around me and her mom, she's too too cheeky and her mom which is my sister inlaw lets her as she has a big big attitude and swears and cracks it if she don't get her way.
Her mom is too busy with work anyway so most of the times I'm with my niece.
Now I wasn't sure if I should post this but I'm finding it a little easy to talk on forums but I don't think I can mention what it's about...
I mean I can but it might create tension and trigger people so not sure if I want to.
Just needed opinons but then again if people don't know what it's about how are you going to opinon me?? Hmmm

If you do not like the behavior of a family member's child then stop or at least limit allowing yourself to be available to babysit and or hangout.

My GUESS is you have the typical mouthy niece showing off for her young adult uncle and you need to ignore obnoxious behavior and compliment appropriate behavior.

Preteens need exercise, study time, and at least 8-10 hours undisturbed sleep at home so if you are not supporting that then you are fueling the behavior you dislike.

If you suspect the child is being neglected or abused then then out of the presence of the child have an adult to adult conversation with the parent or senior family members and take action to prevent it.


If they are the perpetrators then call your local Child Protective Services and let professionals sort it out.

Naighty behavior covers a lot of behaviors.
If it's a big mouth and attitude it's a behavior she learned from those around her.
If naughty has sexual connorations you should psy attention and report if you have a concern. It could be a sign that she has experienced or is experiencing srxual abuse.
You mention the child's mother but didn't mwntion the child's father in all this?
Is her father in the picture?
If so what does he hsve to say about all of this?
You stated that if she doesn't get her way she gives attitude. Speaking for you, personally, what do you do when she brings put the attitude? Do you give in and give her what she wants?
If so, you are reinforcing that kibd of behavior.
There is no specific single answer that can be applied to your question.
I'm not a parent but have encountered many situations over the years with my niece and nephews.
One thing is to look at the source of the behavior. Is the child acting out of aggression toward a circumstance they can't control? Is the child looking for attention? Are they mimicking what they see in every day life?
My oldest nephew is now a grown man.
When he was little he iften fekt rejection by his dad and lashed out at otgers to hide the hurt. That took time and counseling and making sure he feels included by the rest of us. His consequence was loss of privileges.
Another nephew who is now 21 was about fifteen when his mother was absent for a time and his dad was working often. Aside from going through typical teenage attitude he was missing his mom and often said I'm just not going to do anything when we woukd ask him to do his chores.
One day i had the idea to tell him ok. Don't do anything because yoyr dad is almost here to get you. He said ok. And grabbed the tv control to watch his shows. I took it away and said nope. You're nit doing anything. Watxhing tv is doing sonething.
Five minutes of doing nothing was torture to him. I never heard that again.
You have to find what works.
And follow through with it

Hmmm ok cool. I've just got to figure out something. For starters the father is no more with them... they want nothing to do with the father.
The other thing is yes she has sexual interest as in watching porn etc... her mother watches porn and she has made some videos of herself which her daughter found one day and now she likes it and wants to watch porn and the mother lets her.
Because she is also getting attitude so she just lets her daughter free.

Tell her she is a spoiled brat and don't go over there anymore.

that's really all you have to do.

all you can really do is voice your concerns with your sister, other than that(unless there is proof of abuse), there is not much you can do

parents can raise their children as they see fit, up to and until abuse,,,

Well I do tell her she is spoilt but she just smirks at me and us 3 only live their together. The house is under me and my sister inlaws name so both of us and I really can't move out because I have things to pay off.

Msharmony: I did voice it and really you are right as it's her daughter and she can raise her how she wants.
My niece is too much into porn and she loves watching it and I mean the hardcore stuff dp and everything etc...
I have also seen my niece masturbate one night when I came home late and her mom says young girls at that age have lots of hormones and need to experience things.
Oh and another thing.... just other night when I came home, they were watching it again and sister inlaw said I'm welcome to sit with them and watch it and just not to be shy because it's a natural thing to watch porn.

when you say sister in law,,do you mean you live with your brothers wife?

Yes (ex wife)

is informing your brother an option?

I would say to inform the brother, or if they have counselors at her school, inform them. They are paid to know the laws and the proper channels for helping students.

We dint have any contact with him. I actually don't consider him my brother anymore.

It sounds like a very unfair and sad environment for the girl.

If dad has abandoned her, combining that with the regular objectifying of women seen in porn is a recipe for certain disaster, as is pulling a runner yourself.

As the uncle your 'role' is to keep her safe and show her positive influences and examples.



There is no easy answer. If you let it go, it could be setting the girl up for failure or abuse.

If you report it, it will make for very undesirable living circumstances for you and possibly result in the niece being removed from the home.

I know... so I'm thinking just let her be. She is a smart girl though and she can figure out things in her own but she's started very young.
There's also another thing that I have not mentioned yet.
Sister inlaw is actually a stripper and she does put in a show at home as we have a stripper pole and her daughter just likes seeing her mother doing a striptease and showing all.
Her mother is 34 and she is pretty gorgeous and I don't mind a show myself at times when I'm alone with sister inlaw.
But yeah she does get up and close with her daughter

there are all kinds of red flags in that home,,,,,but good luck.

Perhaps some neighbor or schoolmates parents will call protective services at some point.

I been thinking the same, someone might but we live in the country side and our place is hidden away from the road so there's really no houses around except ours and she's taught her daughter to not say anything and to keep this between the.
But I do have a very very close female friend and she knows, and also told me let them do what they want and don't take something away from someone that likes something because they'll find another way to get it and maybe she'll go on the streets and get it.
At home it's private and it's something they both like doing.
She also told me to just relax and enjoy what they do.

wow.

Children don't really have the experience to make such choices, especially if they are hidden away, they are just following what they are shown. Of course, it will be the way the child goes if she is shown nothing else and it is reinforced on so many fronts (moms job, moms behavior, mom and uncles encouragement and enjoyment of the behavior)

Think of it this way, if mom was OBESE and ate sweets all day, and her daughter following her did the same, and they were both 'happy' with sweets, would it, therefore, be wise to allow the child to follow her mothers path because it was making her 'happy'? It is a dangerous precedent and example for a young girl to have, just as a standard where what matters is what she can get from using her body is constantly reinforced.

I doubt it will end well for her, even if she feels 'happy' right now. Setting the stage to be used by some old perv at a young age.

What I meant was our house is hidden away in the bush, we live in a big land so there's not much houses where we live.
Hmmm I get you... it's just me there seeing all this is just making me go with the flow..
She has seen her mom nude because she performs at home, she has seen mommy videos of her masturbating and having sex and I also saw my niece masturbating.
So everything is really in the open and that's why now I'm thinking should I just chill and watch on because I've seen everything.
I'm a open minded person and I do enjoy porn myself.
The problem is I know I'll get a hard on though...

I REALLY hope you are pulling our legs,,,,,,

No not really.