I tend to make up original lines on the fly. I'm thinking... plenty of ladies probably assume I'm not a funny guy, and that whatever vaguely amusing drivel I'm currently spouting is my best line

I tend to make up original lines on the fly. I'm thinking... plenty of ladies probably assume I'm not a funny guy, and that whatever vaguely amusing drivel I'm currently spouting is my best line

You're killing me!

^^^ Yeah, that's a good old pickup line right there. As expected, from somebody making his first or second post here.

Now that was a great place to view this thread for the first time.
"That's funny right there, I don't care who ya are."

Is that a little conversation in the floor?

Shall we pick it up from here?

'You look like you wanna kiss me.’

I want to be your favorite Hello...And your hardest Goodbye!


This one is actually kind of sweet!

Yes, it is.

I love your new profile picture lu

Yes, maybe I'll respond


Edited in...Oh I forgot what makes it not so sweet....he's separated!

You're made special

I'm no lumberjack but I've got the wood for your fireplace ...

I used to work in a hardware store. There was this kid, a brickloader, who used to carry a screw bolt in his pocket. He would see a pretty girl, walk up yo her and say, can I help you find something today??

They would always smile and say "No thank you", to which he would say, you want this?? The lady would say what is that??
He'd say....A SCREW!!!

He'd did that about 6 times before he got reported to our manager!!! Oh... 1987 were did you go???

Do you have a Band-aid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.



Received this in a message a week ago.

^^^ This one gets my vote.

wow so sweet

I'd vote for that as among the worst, too. It made me think of the Festrunk brothers (Dan Aykroyd and Steve Martin on early Saturday Night Live episodes), except those guys would have had much more to say.

There are some pretty good ones on here, like ecorche's contribution above. That might actually get a laugh if I tried it on someone I knew, someone who knows I'm not a Ted Bundy kind of guy.

My buddy and I love to come up with bad pickup lines just to make each other laugh.

For instance...

[my buddy] Excuse me, can I sniff your butt?

(What? It works for dogs, right?)

[myself] Wanna play 'pirates'? 'Cos I'd love to plunder that booty.

(I always imagine how hard I'd get slapped if I ever used that one. LOL)

If you guys ever decide to try some of those, be sure to get it on video. You could have a show like that Impractical Jokers or whatever it is on HLN. (CourtTV morphed into TruTV, then to HLN.)

And you reminded me of a joke, but I dunno if I can tell it on the forum. It's more of an "in-person" joke, so I can do a drunk's voice.
Part of it is the line "Typically nasty weather."
Edit to add: I just found it online, and apparently it was in a movie in 1980, Up the Academy. "Particularly nasty weather." (Link to the joke available on request.)

"Excuse me. You're sooo hot! Do you mind if I take a picture?"

Buhahahahahaahahahahahahaahahah!