Hmmm... Well zheetor..
You gave some more background to the story that you did not include in your original post. I wasnt aware that you didnt talk to her for 3 days, which actually provokes more questions for me.
Who was INITIATING most of the messages? Her or you?
If YOU were the one, who was initiating most of the messages , and you stopped all of a sudden, then why couldn't SHE have take some initiative of her own, and contacted you?
Now if SHE was the one initiating most of the contact, and she stopped for 3 days, then I would think that the onus could be on YOU to take up the slack, and call to see if she was okay.
Communication of any kind comprises of giving and taking, and whats wrong with taking turns , and even filling in when the other person falls short? Who said ONE PERSON had to be responsible all the time for that?
Also, I didnt know about your 3 day silence at the time I wrote my first response , but I have something general to say about abrupt silences. If I have NOT been ignored by someone before,or have NOT recently had an argument with them, then if I do not hear from them for a while, I do NOT assume that they are deliberately ignoring me . I consider that they might be busy, sick, or going through something traumatic , and in a general sense, both parties need to be more understanding in that regard.
And BOTH should make the effort to find out if the other person is okay when there is an unexplained abrupt silence. And I maintain my original position that when someone ONLINE abruptly starts ignoring you for no apparent reason, its often because they have found someone else, and it is in your best interest to MOVE ON.
Putting that aside, if she is so angry about your 3 day silence, then the adult thing to do would be to explain just that, instead of ignoring you. And if thats the way she is going to deal with conflict from this early, then prepare for the silent treatment misery in a future relationship ,everytime you have a disagreement.
Finally, it couldnt have hurt for you to apologise if she felt you hurt her in some way. If you didnt do so, a genuine heart-felt apology might have diffused the situation a bit . If she refused to accept that apology, then I see no need for grovelling with flowers . She isnt a child ,and she isnt your girlfriend. The offense in my opinion was not that unforgivable. A genuine heartfelt apology should be enough.
And I have a question. Why did you assume that she needed space? Was it because you were the one always initiating the message? Or did you just randomly decide that on your own? Maybe you could have asked for her input on that. Assumption is often not helpful in those situations.
Looking at the situation from different sides, I really dont see why one person should be demonised in the situation you described. Seems to me that BOTH of you could have acted more maturely
Edited by
Unknow
on Mon 06/26/17 12:11 PM