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Topic: Harassment-Guilty until proven innocent

msharmony

Fri 11/17/17 07:30 AM

For me, because humans have the tendency to be unique, I believe they also have a tendency to like and dislike different things.

This is true of how people flirt/play with each other as well. For example, I use the words hon and sweety ALOT. It is just a harmless habit that I picked up from a young age, that I enjoyed being on the receiving end of. But, occasionally, someone will make it known that they do not like being referred to in that manner, and I do my best to stop(it is a habit), but how can I be accountable to their discomfort before I know they are uncomfortable?

Likewise, some people enjoy the attention of a 'cat call', some people enjoy being fondled or touched .... etc... etc.... but a person does not know if another person is NOT enjoying their advance UNTIL that person says so.

So this newest media trend around people coming forward to tell about singular incidents of 'harassment' by men of power, and usually incidents that allegedly happened decades ago, is bonkers ... imho.

Firstly, because it results in that person being socially outcast as 'guilty until proven innocent'

and

Secondly, because most people I know are a bit different/more matured in their 50s and onward, than they were in their 20s. Penalizing near senior citizens for having basically made someone uncomfortable in their 20s is insane. I know the accusers are getting plenty of attention and sympathy, but my sympathy is going out to these men who have not been proven to have done anything illegal at all.

I liken it to how a cop can just claim 'fear' to justify taking a life. That people can just claim singular incidents of 'harassment' to justify taking a career is troubling to me ... especially having been raised with brothers and a Father whom I love very much. I cant imagine what the families of the accused are going through.

Edited by msharmony on Fri 11/17/17 07:31 AM

Serchin4MyRedWine

Fri 11/17/17 08:33 AM

WOW MSH you are sounding more and more like a conservative everyday laugh

I agree that this is going too far. Yes, woman should not be abused or sexually assaulted but waiting 40 years to come forward only when the person has become rich or powerful is too much.
What recourse at that point does the man have to defend against possible false claims?
It seems men are guilty until proven innocent (which in most cases is very hard to do)and what makes this even worse for the wealthy and powerful, once a single claim is brought against them you can always count on many coming out of the woodwork for monetary gain.

It is getting almost as bad as in some Arab countries, where soon you can be charged for just looking at a woman improperly ohwell

TxsGal3333

Fri 11/17/17 09:10 AM

Hummm I must agree with you both it has gotten out of hand....

And honestly I'm guilty of using the sweetie,hun ect and more as I get older..

All I can say any guy that has come on to me in my past it was not always just them I had a play in it as well...

I do think some are taking it a bit far, for they most likely had a hand in some of the talking or flirting as well.. Can't always blame the guy...

And bringing up something a man/woman did in their 20's when they are above 50's...Come on tell me how many really was all that innocent and pristine in their 20's and never did anything crazy...

We all grow up and look back shaking our heads thinking did I really do that??

Now if they have a slew of them that start accusing then that has happened since then and has continued then I would see things different... Otherwise I see it as pretty harmless..

Serchin4MyRedWine

Fri 11/17/17 09:27 AM

There should be a statute of limitations like in a criminal case.
Maybe you have 3 years to make your allegations or keep it to yourself.If you come out more then 3 years later, you are automatically charged with liable and given a large fine and or imprisonment. Of course rape, specially of a minor (who may not be able to come forward due to a lot of reasons) would not be held to such a statute.

TxsGal3333

Fri 11/17/17 09:34 AM

If correct there is a statue of liability when you can file a lawsuit to claim it but problem is there is no statue of liability of accusing another even if it is true/false.. Yea it most likely comes under the Freedom to Speech for many... well and the News Media if it will spike their rates they will air it..

So in some of these cases I blame the Media and the Laws we need to have around them...

I'm sorry but unless they have been arrested and charge all these allegations should not be aired... Give some proof before they can air what could be false~~

mysticalview21

Fri 11/17/17 11:44 AM

I believe 1 person set the tone of the country...
and that opened Pandora's box ... but that person was not as innocent as they had seemed either...

TxsGal3333

Fri 11/17/17 11:54 AM

I'm all for Women/Men coming forward and would back them completely but when naming someone over something that happen 20 years ago I feel the names should be withheld unless they have continued to do so..and charges are being brought against them for what they did...

People change after their 20's even if it was wrong, and that depends on what they did, they should not be brought up 20-30 years later..just because......

If they are not or can not bring charges against them then leave it be and learn to move on..

The law and when one can bring up the past is there for all to see and read so learn the law and stick with it or leave it be..

yellowrose10

Fri 11/17/17 12:01 PM

Seems too many are coming out lately. It should have happened before. Makes me question motives of many.

greeneyes148

Fri 11/17/17 06:03 PM

I think it a culture, a culture that seemed perfectly o.k. " back in its day" Perfectly o.k. to the ones dishing out the unwanted advances.

The " casting couch" phase goes back decades. Same for political leaders.. no shortage of accusations there either.

And the fact is, that is was wrong.. but accepted " back then"

I personally think there are scores of women ( and men) who will not come forward now, because their life has changed, has evolved into " normalcy" and they do not ant to revisit the past, don't want their loved ones to know.. for many reasons. but it is still their past.. and they do think of it

I have been to LA.. many times, and have talked to few actresses and actors hoping for their " break".... venerable to hawks.

I have to believe that there is some truth to the allegations.. across the industry boards, be it politics, Hollywood, or business.

If nothing else it should change the " good ole boy" school of thought.. hopefully.

JMO

IgorFrankensteen

Mon 11/27/17 12:24 PM

I agree, but I find that this problem is a LOT more complicated and involved than has yet been recognized in the press or in debates like this.

The thing is, almost EVERYTHING about human life, has basic human-animal behaviors woven into it at all levels. Sexuality plays a FAR larger role in everything people do, than things like "patting bottoms" or other such behaviors reveal.

At a fundamental level, each human's social status throughout their entire lives, has sexual elements involved. The reason WHY sexual abuse takes place in so many situations, is because of this.

That doesn't excuse it, nor does the fact that due to pretty much EVERY cultures' problems dealing with sex and sexuality, no one gets specific training in details of how to behave. And by the way, I don't care what the "too hip for school" Europeans may say, they are just as screwed up about sex in their lives, as Americans are. They may have a DIFFERENT WAY to screw everything up, but they obviously haven't got things on track in this area any more than anyone else does.

None of that explains the more overt acts of sexual misbehavior, but a lot of the smaller instances of "crossing lines" are certainly due to this still-very-confused mess.

msharmony

Mon 11/27/17 12:43 PM

I think it boils down very much to preferences and attraction.

every individual likes or dislikes different things when it comes to being approached, and those can switch for each individual depending upon WHO is approaching them(someone they have attraction to or someone they dont)

As we do not live in a world of mind readers, people take the chance everytime they approach another in ANY WAY, of whether their words or actions will be received as compliments or as offenses, but they do not KNOW until they have tried and been told by THAT INDIVIDUAL that it is not what HE/SHE likes.

I think the confusion is in an expectation that there is a 'norm' of approach that every person will approve of every time, when there isn't. AS adults, we need to learn to communicate what we like and dislike to each other, and not expect others to read our mind in the place of that communication.

Once communication has occurred, however, its a different story.

I believe many are all too glad to use their attractiveness with other attractive people who can help them in some way, not messed up, just their way of transacting on their own behalf. Just like many use their intelligence with other intelligent people ,,, and so on and so forth.

I think we do not communicate enough and complain/demonize too much when it comes to how men and women interact, especially considering the culture that says that neither should be treated any different than the other. I know many men would love an attractive woman to approach them, let alone compliment them in some manner of physical contact.

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