1. Were you spanked as a child?

2. How many times would you guess you were spanked?

3.What were you spanked for?

4. If you had to guess, what was the ratio of
a. hugs,
b."great jobs"
c. "you can do it's"
d. "i love yous'

to spankings you received?

5.Do you feel the spankings were justified?

6. Were the spankings impulsive and reactive or were they direct and controlled?


I am just doing a mini 'survey', if you will to observe the correlation between the BALANCE of home experiences a person experienced and the perception/outcome of spanking.

My answers would be.

1. Yes. I was spanked as a child.

2. I would guess maybe four or five times.

3. I was spanked twice for lying. Trust of each other was very important in our family. I was spanked once for severe verbal disrespect. I was spanked a couple times after repeated discussions had failed to evoke change.

4. I would say the ratio is about
a. 10,000 hugs to each spanking
b. 5,000 great jobs
c. 100,000 you can do its
d. and a million I loves yous for each one spanking.

5.Yes. I feel the spankings were justified.

6.My parents never 'lashed out'. Our spankings were controlled and direct. We would go to our rooms while our parents finished whatever they were in the middle of and instructed to think about why we were going to receive consequences. It could be five minutes or an hour before they actually came and spanked us.

First I must state that I was raised by my sister and brother in law because my parents abandoned me. The only 'spankings I got were at school, at home I was beat, slammed, punched and tackled.

1. Were you spanked as a child? Technically, Yes

2. How many times would you guess you were spanked? Multiple times a day, sometimes.

3.What were you spanked for? Basically anytime I was near them, said something or looked at them funny.

4. If you had to guess, what was the ratio of
a. hugs, 0:10
b."great jobs" 0:10
c. "you can do it's" 0:10
d. "i love yous' 2:10 (from my sister)
to spankings you received?

5.Do you feel the spankings were justified? No

6. Were the spankings impulsive and reactive or were they direct and controlled? Sadistic and insane, emotionally driven by hatred

It is because of the life I endured in my childhood that I made a change in how I treat people. I was determined not to perpetuate the sadism.
I made it a point to raise my children in a home with love. For the few times I did spank them it was maximum 3 swats to the behind after I was sure they understood why they were being spanked. Most of the time only one swat was needed. I only punched one teenage son in the mouth once for telling his mom F*U. Afterward, he apologized to her on his own.

Musta did something right because my children now raise their children with the same love. I can tell because of how I see their families interact with each other.

Spanking a child is not a bad thing. What makes it a bad thing is when the parent gets pleasure from the act of spanking. When the child gets spanked without understanding the reason they are being spanked it serves no purpose. In my opinion, anything over 3 decisive swats to the behind is sadistic.

I have five siblings and we were never spanked .. instead we had timeouts .

Our school system on the other hand had corporal punishment until that was banished .

I've found that timeouts work.

As my kids got older they were more effective than spankings and we adjusted.

Sometimes tho, a good smack in the head drives the lesson home.
The most important part is knowing which will provide the guidance you wish to employ and the most effective measure.

The important thing to remember is How effective will the punishment be in providing the guidance in the most effective way for the child to understand its importance.

Most of the time, with intelligent children, reason is the best measure.
They don't want to mess up. Its not a personal assault on your authority its them learning life.

If you find your children are testing you, you're doing something wrong.

Children don't know.
They are trying to figure it out too.
They love you.
Don't hurt the people that love you....teach then...with the same love you would expect.
After-all, they are YOUR CHILDREN, you LOVE them don'Tcha?

Being the adult, you're supposed to know things, you're supposed to teach them.
Do you wanna teach them hatred or love?

I hope to teach them balance through both love and discipline. Thank you for your answers