is this what we come to?
Who's "we?"
That seems to be kinda the problem, doesn't it?
The idea that everyone, everywhere, without boundaries or distinction is one great big "we."
Then the difficulty is individuals with certain feelings of how "we" should behave getting the "we" to actually behave that way.
Can we not make a distinction of 'relevance' in liking what a person stands for and being willing to simply serve them in a public establishment?
I can generally do it, I can't speak for anyone else in the universal "we" you seem to be referring to.
Although I do have a difficult time serving some people without something affecting my demeanor.
I mean some women come in and are all super hot and I'm super friendly and accommodating.
Other times these creepy gay dudes come in and they say borderline inappropriate things, or loaded innuendo, and I want to get them out of there as quickly as possible.
I remember this one couple that came in where I worked and they were pig farmers. They literally left a trail of pig excrement stench throughout the store. I couldn't smile or talk to them really due to having to hold my breath. I really wanted to keep them from coming in. Other customers would complain and ask if we had a sewer line break and why we were still open.
but it is sad to see so much of that type of harsh judgmentalism being normalized in so many walks of life.
"Being" normalized?
It's been normalized pretty much forever.
Blacks couldn't use white drinking fountains.
No Irish need apply.
Men can't use women's restrooms.
Men's clubs.
Egyptian slave workers can't go to this area of the bazaar.
Foreigners were immediately killed or kicked out with prejudice if they washed up on shore.
The only thing that ever changes are the labels.
People keep doing the same old sht everyday.
Those that lean left or right just disagree on what labels are to be changed and which are to be kept the same.
One side pretends they've made "progress" by doing something, but they're simply discriminating against someone else, protecting a desired class for their own use or emotional/identity well-being.
The only difference are what emotions you personally associate with which labels and how myopic is your perspective.
Just because a business exists doesn't mean they must serve you, sell to you.
Many/most cities/states have passed laws where if you want a business license to operate a public business, then you must serve the public, without any kind of discrimination, sometimes even going so far as to being forced to absorb the costs of accommodating some group. e.g. wheelchairs, helper animals, handicapped parking, pregnant parking, automatic doors, electric scooters for the obese depending on floor space, having epipens or defibrillators on hand.
If you want to operate a private, members only club, discriminating for a certain group, you still have to comply with federal eeoe laws, as well as local business laws.
Businesses lost the whole "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" a long time ago.
It just wasn't in the news in a spectacular fashion, happening by executive order, a sign of the pen.
if they are totally privately sustained, they can make the distinction
They still have to comply with local business laws.
Were you aware that if you enter a business you are legally liable to uphold/adhere to the company's anti harrassment/discrimination policies, whatever they may be? Do you read the company's policies before entering? Do you even know where to find them?
There are a lot of laws on the books that have pretty much eroded any rights around "private" property and/or individual rights in commerce.
For the most part, they aren't all that enforced, and if they are it just isn't all that "newsworthy" like some anti/pro trump restaurant bs.
they did at least give her the respect to talk to her privately and politely ask her to leave
IMO this was more likely an attempt to avoid potentially making a scene in the public dining room. IMO the manager/owner was just trying to "cya," it wasn't out of any real respect or politeness.