so at school there was this girl that I befriended and we became really good friends for a few months. But once I started socializing with other people and when I went to sit next to other people to get to know them better, she and her group couldn’t grasp that and she and her 2 friends started to ignore me.
Fast forward, the finals are finished and it’s summer. Now she started messaging to meet up and to join her and her two friends for dinner at her home because her parents were away for a week.
I did not take this well because she showed secretive behavior by ignoring me for months together with her group and then having the guts to invite me all of a sudden.
So I messaged back and told her that I didn’t like her way of behaving. That it is mean to treat people this way and that I prefer people who are straight forward instead of sneaky and secretive.
She messaged back that she did that because I never sat next to her and her friends anymore and that she always had to come to me to have some contact with me and that it bothered her that I never took the time to go over to her to have contact.
The thing is, she is bisexual and started looking in an admiring way at me during the courses, she started following me everywhere and plain out made me uncomfortable and started texting me late at night when it’s not appropriate anymore to contact anyone.
I mean, I don’t want to form one small group. I like to socialize with everybody a bit without committing myself to a certain group.
So when I went sitting next to other people and not next to her and her friends, she and her friends started to freak out.
She told one of her friends,who told me back, that I was the “ best of both worlds “ and that little sentence disguested me.
So I just started ignoring her too and went on with my university life to get to meet other people.
She made a drama about the fact that I removed her from my friend list on Facebook.
I mean, it’s just Facebook.
I told her that I wouldn’t accept her invitation to join them for dinner and that I was fine with how the situation was now ( no contact ) and that I didn’t feel a need to change anything about that and that I would appreciate it if she and her two friends left me alone after summer. That there were other people that I prefered hanging out with.
She and her two friends are always with three and don’t have anybody else. They always were forcing me to sit next to them. Don’t get me wrong, sitting next to each other every now and then is fine but not every course, week after week.
During lunch breaks I also wanted to get to know other people, socialize with other people and sit next to other people during classes and they couldn’t grasp that I socialized with people outside of their group, in the classroom.
I mean, there are 600+ students in my class, it’s not realistic to only get to know three of them. That would be anti-social towards the rest.
There were other interesting people that I wanted to get to know.
Those 3 people I talk about came over to me every time, I never went over to them. Just because I didn’t feel a click. I never considered them interesting people and I never considered them to be friends. That’s why I socialized with others. People that I did find interesting.
Now to end the story :
I told her to leave me alone and that I was content with having gone no contact, when she messaged me. And she behaved like she was the victim. That she didn’t understand why I went no contact.
I mean, she made me uncomfortable. I don’t like it when a person follows me 24/7 and wants me to be with them alone all the day without me getting to know others. And that is what that little group did. They couldn’t stand it when I talked to others.
My mother was of the opinion that I have been too harsh on them by asking them to not ever contact me again, as a response on their invitation for me to dinner with them.
They are 18, turning 19. I’m 22. And that’s where my mother thinks I have been too harsh. That they are still maturing and make mistakes and that I need to learn to forget and forgive.
But I don’t really agree. I mean, I don’t owe my time to people I’m not interested hanging out with, so why should I hang out with them against my will?
I don’t see where I went in the wrong. It was them that went in the wrong.
Edited by
ElissaIsTrans
on Mon 07/16/18 12:58 PM