That's exactly how I feel... totally alone and isolated. And today they didn't call me for lunch, that's a daily thing but I was excluded today.

It was this morning that my boss talked with me and encouraged me to give my two week notice. I don't have 90 days left Tom, just eleven.

Finishing the term is an option if I can clean the rooms. My hands are in such pain that it would be torturous for me to do so. They are going to close the Inn during the week for the month of October. The offer was to clean rooms at the other Inn and be Innkeeper here for the month. I said no... The damp weather is getting worse, so my pain will get worse and my mental state of mind is already pretty burnt out.

It's time to call it quits and do what I can to leave on good terms on the 15th.

I have a Bachelors Degree in Psychology... Lol, go figure!

I've worked in health care, special ed, mental health, customer service, and pretty much all aspects of hospitality. I'm very diverse and will have no problem finding my next seasonal job. But looking into some of those things like the zoo and maybe the HR department might be something I'm a little more passionate about.

I want to make a difference, I've thought about FEMA and helping people who are going through natural disasters...

But right now I just need to rest... well start packing actually, lol.

An action plan would be good... thanks.

Thank you, the music is wonderful.

Yes I'm majorly fatigued. Fighting the urge to smoke or gorge my face with fudge, lol... But I already gained too much weight over the last couple months, so fudge is not an option. And the extra weight adds to the pain...

It's like.... "How the heck did I get here... in this huge pit that's really tough to climb out of"

I'm still nicotine free, alcohol free, and mostly sugar free.... And I still have gratitude and feel blessed.... so I think I'll be okay.

And that music is very soothing. Thank you, you're the best.

Hey you're not the first that's had to put up with crap management; they want you to relax, but they keep finding more things for you to do, you're working 24/7 but that's not enough. Screw em. You've done it since December? That's an accomplishment right there. This is 2018 not 1818. Slavery was abolished in 1864. Be proud you put up with it as long as you did. Pack up your bags. Move on. And chalk it up to experience.

No problem.


Did you know there are different flavorings you can buy for coffee that are zero calorie and taste like the real thing?



I dipped a banana in the chocolate one and it tasted like one of those chocolate bananas. You don't have to use them in drinks but if you add too much it can taste bitter.
I once flavored some pecan carmel rolls with different flavors for Thankgiving and everyone loved them. Wanted to know my secret. hahaha

You can usually find them at any decent grocery store. Might help with the cravings.

As for smoking, I'm no help. I tried to quit and failed miserably.

I play that chillout music every once in awhile when I'm feeling a lot of pain. It helps me zone out and gather my wits. If you look at the related videos you will find more. There's an Asian flute one that is awesome at night with the lights down low.

I also tune my winamp to HBR1 transponder ~ ambient trance.
http://www.hbr1.com/
Not sure if the streams work with a phone tho?

Thanks motown... I've been here since April. I was in Colorado in December. That seasonal job was good, 8 hour shifts and two days off. They didn't like working me 6 days unless absolutely necessary because I got overly emotional, lol.

I've been doing the 24/7 since mid May actually. The first month I was here I was hourly instead of salary. I worked 7 to 8 hour shifts and got 2 or 3 days a week off.

You're right though and thank you! I wanted to prove I could do it and I can, but not without losing my mind, dignity, and health... definitely not worth it.

Sorry for all your troubles, River. I'm not good dealing with these kind of things. I don't have the right things to say.

Thanks Kat, I'm not always good with these kind of things either. That's okay, sometimes just a smile or saying what you just said helps.

I'm feeling better. I guess just writing about it and getting support or knowing I'm not the only one who ever feels this way helps.

I'll be able to start getting more organized tomorrow now that I'm feeling a little less crazy.

Thanks for posting Kat.

Thank you!

I trying not to use food for comfort, I have major addictive tendencies, so it's best to use healthier coping mechanism... like the music and also relaxation breathing and stuff like that. I'll look into those syrups for later on, having a treat every now and then is good.

For now, if I feel the absolute need to medicate with food I'll have a piece of my Keto chocolate.. it's high quality dark chocolate. Very tasty and doesn't have the sugar alcohol that can make depression worse. I had intended to start the keto diet on the 1st, but not all my stuff came in the mail. I'll hold off until after I get settled. I've at least cut back on a few foods that are giving me problems.

I feel like I'm out of crisis thanks to all the support from everyone here. I'm not feeling so stuck, so hopefully tomorrow I'll feel the same way and be able to get more productive.

I'm on your side,River.

Thanks Kat, that's very nice and means a lot to me.

I've been there. I know that feeling very well.

Hi u ... big hug from me .. sounds like there is a lot of stress going on . Burnout is real and the one thing that is vital is to rest and relax .. I am not sure what your employment contract is river but do you have any sick leave available .. I strongly suggest you use that ... even if it is just a few days to let your body rest .or is it possible to reduce your hours over the next 11 days so that you still have money coming in but also have time to look at other work options ..

I am not sure what your financial situation is but that is likely a big stressor for you ... if you are worried it may be wise to return to colarado even if it is just a short term
Arrangement so you can regroup and plan what you would like to do next . The other option is to look locally .. ... . Home is always an option .. it does not mean you need to remain there .. just an interim shelter . Work out what your priority is and what your financial situation dictates but ultimately think about what is best for your health and what will make you feel happy and more secure right now. It is times like these that you need a safe harbour .. go somewhere that you can reduce your stress levels and find your vitality again. . ask yourself another question .. had the hurricane not happened .. would you stilll be in the keys .. if the answer is yes .. despite any other negatives . Then perhaps that is your safe place and it is time to go home.. for a spell .

Rivers, you already a winner. In India, roughest job is on oil rigs,
3 months on, 1 month off (12 hour shift) - confined space

start planning for that vacation - 24/7
oops, hold off; no point wasting all that blood money

sorry, not including a hug; cause of garlic breath.
Anyway, Blondey's good for two.

Thanks Charles

River, reserve some of yourself for recovery and for your own maintenance.

I've seen many of those type of jobs advertised for married couples, and even a couple who can backup each other are pushed by the constant needs of customers and management and 'unforseen' events, (which management usually know about), so you did a huge thing in giving it a good go on your own.

Now you have to be extra careful and not let fatigue cause you more damage before you leave. Take care of your hands, because they do almost everything, especially if you are moving on and looking for new work soon. And look out for your feet and legs because they carry you all day un-noticed, until . . .
Try not to let it get you down mentally, and acknowledge what you did accomplish on your own, rather than what you didn't do.
If it was easy, management would have done it all themselves !

Hugs from a hippie.

Thanks Blondey

"Safe Haven"... that is exactly what I'm feeling I need right now, I need a safe place to regroup. I have my safe place to go to within myself, but sometimes it's not enough. Especially when I'm so burnt out and the environmental factors are demanding and hostile, mostly hostile, lol.

Fortunately I am in pretty good financial condition to go just about anywhere I want. I didn't do as well as I originally planned, but I'm still in the position to take 2 to 4 weeks off to get my physical and emotional strength back into shape. I could take longer than that but I don't want to be out of work for more than 4 weeks, I'd go stir crazy for one thing, lol. and the other reason is I still want to travel, so depleting the funds would put me back in a situation where I don't have a lot of choices or options.

The Inn has slowed way down. I only have two rooms right now and the week after our Labor Day is usually dead or close to it in the tourist industry. My contract doesn't say whether or not I get time off. And it doesn't include any sick leave or things like that. It's a seasonal job and those generally don't have benefits. Typically you do have at least one day off per week.

The music Tom gave me to listen to touches me on a spiritual level. That and the Native American music I just purchased helps. I also have calming teas and B6 and B12 supplements. I was thinking maybe I need to take B-Complex though. I'm against going back on anti-depressants, they served a purpose back when I needed them before but I honestly think I can manage that through other means once I reduce the stress and fatigue.

Back to Safe Haven... when I read this my thoughts immediately went to the two bosses I had at the resort in Florida... Getting around supportive caring people that I know, that aren't going to coddle me is what I am needing right now. And the director lady is very much into the spiritual healing stuff that I am in to.

That is where I feel I need to go first and then figure things out as far as where to next. In answer to your question about where I would be if the hurricane didn't happen... I would still be working at Hawks Cay Resort because I loved my job and the people I worked with and for. The home environment had progressed to becoming toxic but it only became unbearable after I lost the job.

Circumstances there have changed, I have changed, and during my time back there I will be living alone, so that makes a huge difference as well. Still might need to only be temporary, but it's at least warm, lol, and home to me.

Locally here is out of the question... too damp and cold. Traverse City where my son is might be a consideration, but not just yet. Plus it's really damp and cold there too. But aside from Florida feeling "like home".. Traverse City also feels like "home".

Colorado is still on my mind, if I go I'd like to go in January.

Just writing all this helps put things back into perspective. Bottom line is somewhere along the line I stopped giving myself permission to choose what's best for me. Time to put my big girl panties back on and decide what's best for me

Thanks Blondey for your support and kindness

Lol, thanks Palghat... My thoughts exactly, the 24/7 vacation will waste a lot of money. A good reason for me to go back to the Keys for a short time. The family home is very cheap to live in, and I can see my friends.

Oil rigging sounds tedious.

I love garlic, so I'll take that hug ((((Palghat))))

Thank you notbeold... I thought of that when my boss was telling me this is an easy job and she doesn't get why it's so difficult for me... She's married, she has several workers at her B&B. Her sister who did this years previous was also married. He would help her when he was not at his job.

It's not that there's so much work to do.... it's that my mind is in constant work mode.

I have therapy gloves that I'm wearing right now. They really help with the pain and with stripping the rooms and lifting things. That was the major thing that prompted my agreeing to giving notice. They said I would be expected to clean rooms the month of October and towards the end of September. I said no, that's not going to happen, lol.

I bought good shoes for my legs and feet, a lot less fatigue being on them now.

Thanks again for your kind words and support

Thank you everyone for all your support and TLC


An amazing thing happened this morning. My boss was very supportive and gave me a pat on the back for all the good I've done since I've been here. She said this job isn't for everyone and that I put up a heck of a good fight to try and make it work.

Tears ran down my face. I guess sometimes you just need to be appreciated. The last couple months I've only heard negative comments, not any positive "good job" kind of stuff.

She mentioned how much I have grown since I've been here and have matured emotionally. That was a huge shocker, after my little melt down yesterday I was thinking I still don't have my emotions under control. Funny how we can be so hard on ourselves unnecessarily.

I guess it's been a long and stressful season for her as well. Now that things are calming down a bit, it's easier to breathe and see things clearer.

I realized something this morning, even before my boss came in and gave me kudos... I didn't fail in what I came here to do. I accomplished the financial, career enhancement, and the personal/self empowerment goals that this summer was about.

I'm feeling very blessed right now. Blessed to have this community and blessed to have all the experiences that come my way to help me learn and grow.

Have a blessed day everyone!

Who says, you failed? Sometimes, we need new challenges but put too high expectations on ourselves. But as always, health comes first and when our body sends out certain signals, we have to listen to them.

I can just send you a thought from far away, a thought of strength and also patience and inner reflection