Topic: Some ...
Reply
msharmony's photo

msharmony

Thu 09/20/18 06:18 AM

Some kids get a pass when they act like completely normal kids and have a bad day, lash out, resist, cry, forget things, get mad at someone, or get angry about something. Other kids don’t.

Some parents get a pass when they drop off their crying child at school, send them with dirty clothes or tangled hair, expose them to sophisticated television or media, get behind on paying for lunches, or don’t attend functions because of busy work schedules. Other parents don’t.

Some people get to meet a friend at a Starbucks coffeeshop, and other people don’t.

I’m not suggesting there aren’t families that need extra support, counseling, financial help, or other structures to help them be the kind of family they want to be. And I’m not suggesting there aren’t children who are in dangerous situations and need advocates to get them out of those situations.

What I am suggesting is that we need to open up some conversations.

We need a more complicated and nuanced conversation about which children and families are perceived as needing state intervention, how race and class are playing a role in those perceptions, how economic resources and ways of “providing” are playing a role in those perceptions, and what – in reality – happens once a phone call is made to report suspected child abuse or neglect.

We also need a more open, expansive, and inclusive conversation about parenting from many different perspectives. In the state of Georgia corporal punishment is still allowed in schools, but a mandated reporter might report a family using corporal punishment. And “free range” parenting is now permitted by law in the state of Utah but those same practices might be perceived as neglectful by authorities depending on what the parents look like, talk like, and where they live.

Gandhi once said that “a nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members,” and our young people are indeed among our most vulnerable people. We can always do better with them and on their behalf. Picking up the phone and calling an authority doesn’t mean we have done our job.

http://www.myajc.com/blog/get-schooled/race-and-class-explain-why-some-parents-never-get-benefit-the-doubt/3U09rbojceMAyPgW0Y1dlM/


Are we responsible as a community for the children, or only as parents for OUR children?

I am opening dialogue because its something I think about often and wonder how many other parents and adults feel at least some collective responsibility towards 'the children', so to speak, biological or otherwise.
Tom4Uhere's photo

Tom4Uhere

Thu 09/20/18 07:53 AM

Are we responsible as a community for the children, or only as parents for OUR children?

I think we are responible as a society for society.
We are responsible as a community for the community.
We are responsible as a family for the family
and responsible as an individual for ourselves.

Societies require unity. If a community, family or individual break or threaten the unity, society must rectify the problem to preserve the unity. The same can be said about community and family.

An individual within a society must function with a unity value. Individuals in unity is what makes society, community and family.
They are the foundation.

What we see now is individuals that do not value unity.
It breaks families, communities and society.

There are basically two ways individuals can value unity.
One is by agreement, which is the easiest.
The other is by force, which is where problems arise.

When there is unity in the family, community or society there is no reason for society to force unity.
If however, there is not unity, the family, community and society will go to great lengths to restore the unity.

Society has expectations of communities, families and individuals.
Communities have expectations of society, families and individuals.
Families have expectations of society, community and individuals.
Individuals have expectations of society, community and families.

When all of these expectations are in unity, there is no turmoil.
Its when any part of the equation falls out of unity the other entities in the string attempt to bring that part back into unity. With force if needed.
Easttowest72's photo

Easttowest72

Sat 09/22/18 04:24 PM

Nobody is going to love our kids more than we do. Family structure is very important. Things have usually gotten to the extreme before dfax is called in.

All kids have bad days and get in trouble. A kid spilling some thing on their shirt at breakfast is different than a kid that rarely takes a bath.

Not paying for lunch depends on the schools tolerance.

I don't understand what star bucks has to do with anything
msharmony's photo

msharmony

Sat 09/22/18 05:45 PM

love is not a contest. There are different levels and types. Kids cannot have too much love, regardless whether it is parent or grandparent, friend or neighbor.


Easttowest72's photo

Easttowest72

Sat 09/22/18 05:59 PM

The problem isn't kids having too much love. Family structure is very important. I spent today in the hot sun watching my grandson play football. Lots of grandparents there. His mom, aunt, and brother Also. His dad had to work.

The problem is when kids don't have family caring for them. Then society takes responsibility and places the child in a safe home (supposed to be safe). Again, nobody loves our kids more than we do. I wouldn't want my kids in dfax custody. I don't trust strangers. Too many just wanting a check or to molest children, or a maid.
msharmony's photo

msharmony

Sat 09/22/18 06:07 PM

If I have my rathers, when my kids are not tied to my hip nor I to theirs, id rather know they are in a place where the adults who are around will care about them BECAUSE they are kids, instead of dismiss them because they are not THEIR kids.
Easttowest72's photo

Easttowest72

Sat 09/22/18 06:26 PM

It's not about dismissing them. Teachers are there to teach a class. If she is having to give her time to a neglected child, it takes away from the class. In daycare, there are too many kids to be able to focus on 1. Caring parents go above and beyond to see that their kids are well taken care of. The problem is not every child has a caring parent.
msharmony's photo

msharmony

Sun 09/23/18 06:17 AM

Some wealthy men get a pass for sexual harassment and assault allegations and make POTUS, others get a trial and make jail time.

do grown ups become what their environment has made them? Are they judged by the fortune of what their environment was or by the outcome and 'merit' of their actions only? Should both be considered?

I think the more resource and opportunity one has had because of OTHERS (in their formative years when OTHERS paved their way and set them up and nurtured them) , the more serious it should be seen when they turn to crimes instead of the opportunities others have set in motion for them.

But I think the answer is that money makes the world go round, and often time takes precedence over any other judgments and places a bias of an individuals personal 'merit' strictly around their economic outcome, and when money cannot be used to divide and inject bias, other social structures do just as well.




Just something to ponder I guess.
Easttowest72's photo

Easttowest72

Sun 09/23/18 03:09 PM

Actually I think poor people get away with crimes more. We have a woman missing. She was a druggie nobody, so no search party. They think her bf killed her but the police really don't care about the poor. That's just one example. Look at Chicago, nobody cares. They get away with rape, robbery, murder etc all the time.
msharmony's photo

msharmony

Sun 09/23/18 03:11 PM

no more 'all the time' than the not so poor, if we look at the socio economic status of most who end up incarcerated anyway.

Easttowest72's photo

Easttowest72

Sun 09/23/18 03:58 PM

But how many crimes did they commit before they got sent to prison?
william's photo

william

Sat 02/29/20 08:05 AM

this is actually one of the most amazing topics I've come across, I agree
mysticalview21's photo

mysticalview21

Sun 03/01/20 03:56 AM


Some kids get a pass when they act like completely normal kids and have a bad day, lash out, resist, cry, forget things, get mad at someone, or get angry about something. Other kids don’t.

Some parents get a pass when they drop off their crying child at school, send them with dirty clothes or tangled hair, expose them to sophisticated television or media, get behind on paying for lunches, or don’t attend functions because of busy work schedules. Other parents don’t.

Some people get to meet a friend at a Starbucks coffeeshop, and other people don’t.

I’m not suggesting there aren’t families that need extra support, counseling, financial help, or other structures to help them be the kind of family they want to be. And I’m not suggesting there aren’t children who are in dangerous situations and need advocates to get them out of those situations.

What I am suggesting is that we need to open up some conversations.

We need a more complicated and nuanced conversation about which children and families are perceived as needing state intervention, how race and class are playing a role in those perceptions, how economic resources and ways of “providing” are playing a role in those perceptions, and what – in reality – happens once a phone call is made to report suspected child abuse or neglect.

We also need a more open, expansive, and inclusive conversation about parenting from many different perspectives. In the state of Georgia corporal punishment is still allowed in schools, but a mandated reporter might report a family using corporal punishment. And “free range” parenting is now permitted by law in the state of Utah but those same practices might be perceived as neglectful by authorities depending on what the parents look like, talk like, and where they live.

Gandhi once said that “a nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members,” and our young people are indeed among our most vulnerable people. We can always do better with them and on their behalf. Picking up the phone and calling an authority doesn’t mean we have done our job.

http://www.myajc.com/blog/get-schooled/race-and-class-explain-why-some-parents-never-get-benefit-the-doubt/3U09rbojceMAyPgW0Y1dlM/


Are we responsible as a community for the children, or only as parents for OUR children?

I am opening dialogue because its something I think about often and wonder how many other parents and adults feel at least some collective responsibility towards 'the children', so to speak, biological or otherwise.





This is a different time for raising children ... thats for sure ... hard to say Msharmony ... some pick up the phone and some do not want to get involved... I have pick the phone up ... in only hoping know one would die ... come to find out 1 almost did ... due to drug over dose ... honesty drugs have been around all my teen age yrs ... know some of those that who did them ...have died ... so it is not really the kind of drug ... its the drug itself and the person ... I have been around foster parents when I was really young ... these kids where treated so bad ... but one reason why they came to our house to play ... and that was ok with me... lots of children around I loved it... making them happy ... and new the 1 day would come where the social services would step in for them ... and was good to know they where sent to a better home ... my life is different then when I was younger ... but if I saw a child in dangerous conditions ... I would step in or make that call ... know matter what color... race or creed ...


is that what you meant ...
mysticalview21's photo

mysticalview21

Sun 03/01/20 04:11 AM


Actually I think poor people get away with crimes more. We have a woman missing. She was a druggie nobody, so no search party. They think her bf killed her but the police really don't care about the poor. That's just one example. Look at Chicago, nobody cares. They get away with rape, robbery, murder etc all the time.



I believe that is pretty much everywhere ...
becouse of so much violence an drugs ...
the police have to pick and choose...

and someone might be working on a case and you dont really know ...
becouse they can not say anything ... even when poor ...
& are called cold cases ...

they have just now started to look at all those ...
rape cases... that have been filed away for yrs ... cold cases ...
they don't have the money in their own systems
is why some get away with crime ...
I remember some women had to pay for their rape kit ...
in the hospital after ... That is so degrading for women ...
like being raped wasn't enough... I have been Bi*ching a long time about this ... blogs and blogs ...I have done ...






no photo

Cosmic Charlie

Sun 03/01/20 04:13 AM

Ms H for president. :thumbsup: All in favour say aye!:thumbsup:
mysticalview21's photo

mysticalview21

Sun 03/01/20 04:43 AM


Ms H for president. :thumbsup: All in favour say aye!:thumbsup:



laugh :thumbsup: Yea!!!!!


always love her topics ...
Edited by mysticalview21 on Sun 03/01/20 04:44 AM