I_love_bluegrass's photo

I_love_bluegrass

Fri 11/09/18 11:52 AM



And lots of people without realizing it, are so fundamentally certain that sex and love are confirmations of each other, that if sex falls off, it means that love is dead.


If a person in such a situation decides to reach out to others in an effort to get the version of love they expected, from someone else, that will mean they've decided to put SOMEONE ELSE in charge of their own life and of their own beliefs.


THIS.

Because someone has stopped having sex with you *doesn't* mean they don't love you...the two are separate for *most* people..
Otherwise..why do so many poeople engage in quickies/ one night stands/ casual sex with no real connection to the other person?

I've heard it all:
"Sex is a physical expression of a loving feeling.."
(see above)

"If she loved me she'd have sex with me.."
Dude...if that is your attitude you have other issues...

"Sex is the only way I can feel close to my partner..."
Well, then I suggest counseling...


There are many, many reasons why someone of *either* gender may not feel like having sex with their partner...
TALKING TO your partner is the best place to start..
It may be something simple...work pressure....overwhelming duties around the home....illness...depression....
Maybe the partner has made "digs" at the other person about their looks...THAT is a libido/ mood killer for sure.

People are complicated, and anyone who doesn't thubnk so is sadly mistaken...
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Fri 11/09/18 11:53 AM
Welshmann's photo

Welshmann

Thu 11/22/18 09:40 PM

Look for another one, sounds like this one don't like you anymore, or she could be seeing Mr right on the side?
oldkid46's photo

oldkid46

Sun 01/06/19 07:41 PM

1. Lots of discussion
2. Professional help
3. Set a reasonable time line for resolution
4. Talk to an attorney

Some things in a marriage can be fixed when both are willing to work at it. Others are not easy to fix and when only one is willing to work on the problems, there are no solutions.
Toodygirl5's photo

Toodygirl5

Sun 01/06/19 07:44 PM

Sounds like you two need to spice up your sex life. Show her some New moves if you have any. Also be sure to ask her what she likes . How can you please her in the area of lovemaking.
oldkid46's photo

oldkid46

Sun 01/06/19 07:49 PM




And lots of people without realizing it, are so fundamentally certain that sex and love are confirmations of each other, that if sex falls off, it means that love is dead.



People are complicated, and anyone who doesn't thubnk so is sadly mistaken...
and this statement describes where many women are at: Love is a precursor to sex! They are unable to separate the two and are unwilling to have the sexual part without feelings of love! That also means that if you have sex with them, they equate that to you loving them.
Wynn Ho's photo

Wynn Ho

Mon 01/07/19 01:19 PM

well said.
hotflagal's photo

hotflagal

Thu 01/31/19 10:57 AM


Sounds like you two need to spice up your sex life. Show her some New moves if you have any. Also be sure to ask her what she likes . How can you please her in the area of lovemaking.


we solved the same issue by allowing each other to seek different partners for sex
no photo

Unknow

Thu 01/31/19 11:06 AM

Maybe, shes not keen on your online activity and expressing a desire to have meaningless sex with strangers?
Roger's photo

Roger

Thu 08/22/19 07:50 PM


Take her out to dinner, have a great evening and then talk. Find out what the root of the problem is. Has she changed in any other way besides the sex issue? You two may need to get some counseling. Take her out on the town and see if she will open up. Good luck.
ivegotthegirth's photo

ivegotthegirth

Fri 08/23/19 04:25 AM

Well damn, for the 4th time since I've been on mingle I cracked up bad enough to shoot Coke out my nose! I was doing fine and contemplating my best advise/comment for the OP; then I read his profile and came to the part where he wants to be a sex worker. That did it, Coke all over my shirt and bubbles left in my nose.
OP if you're question is even serious I'm not sure but if it is YOU can be sure your marriage is OVER! If you're posting stuff like that......it's A done deal.
noway
Nut Case's photo

Nut Case

Wed 10/09/19 08:36 PM

Have you upset her in any way? just sleep on the couch