It's a trend these days to state in capitals that man AND woman have to take care of such things.
But in the arena of sex it still IS woman who does most of the pleasing and gets pleased less.
A woman is as much a sexual being as a man, just in a different way, she needs different things in order to feel desired, sensual, cherished, and in the mood and wanting to be with her man.
Much goes wrong there, as when a couple is in a relationship for some time usually routine sets in. Woman begins to feel less desired and cherished, man begins to feel less respected. Yet, he still expects her to spread her legs for him. It doesn't work that way for a woman. We don't want to be our partner's prostitute -which is what it's still like for many I think: pleasing the man so he won't stray by allowing sex, even when she doesn't feel like it. At some point she doesn't want it at all anymore, and she likely won't get lubricated anymore either. Then she gets shunned, but if she was treated differently it wouldn't have come that far. If she'd be with a man who would appreciate her and treat her right she likely WOULD get wet again even.
But it's still common practice to blame woman, and to even shun her if it doesn't work anymore, blame her for him not getting hard anymore and so on.
On top of that, we have to accept that "It is both man AND woman who have to satisfy the other!"
F*(k That!!
It's about time this chit changes.
Statements like, "Both man AND woman who have to satisfy the other!" STILL hold blame.
(NOT meant to attack the person who happened to say this in this thread btw, just using it as an example.)

When listening to and talking with women you hear the same general thing: it's mostly about the man, he doesn't know how to please her, he doesn't make an effort to please her.
And to be totally blunt, even in this day and age most men cannot find a woman's clitoris!!
You only have to Google Image to find out. And most watch a lot of porn, yet they still do not know??? Nor do they know what to do with it if they CAN find it.

And not to put sole responsibility on men, but I do feel they can put in more effort. At least know how to find a clitoris and what to do with it, and above all: realize that just like not every man likes his thing to be treated like the same way, this goes for woman too. So what worked for your ex might NOT work for your new lady. ASK!!! Pay attention. Feel and notice reactions!
Usually it's only men way in their 50s who've learnt this.

All in all I think it a huge gap in our education. Yes, we get sex-education at school. But that's only the most basic technical stuff.
We are not taught how to go about the rest. The working up, the wooing, the seduction, the FINESSE mostly.
So if we didn't get educated you have to be responsible and get educated yourself.
Internet is full up with tutorials on kissing, oral sex and so on. It has never been easier to get educated, to learn proper technique and so on than it is now.
It's up to everyone to either do this or not.

And yes, I do feel it is mostly for men to get more educated and to take more responsibility for their relationship's sex-life. We women have pleased for thousands of years, we kind of know the drill.
During these same thousands of years, men didn't have to worry about a woman's pleasure at all. It was her duty to spread her legs, a man's duty and right to spread them by force if he wanted to get his rocks off. Whether she wanted and liked it or not.
So you are the ones who lag behind a few thousands of years. And that's not blame, but reality. Facts of life and our history.
Then now be curious to learn, take responsibility for your relationship, and stop blaming women. That's wearing very thin, we've had that for thousands of years already.

As an older gentleman that well understands the part about satisfying your partner, I don't think I have ever in nearly 60 years had a woman tell me what gave her pleasure; it has always been hit or miss and hope for some positive response. It seems that many people are incapable of sharing their sexual likes and desires with a partner. I don't know if it is their upbringing or their fear of either offending or being harshly judged for their desires that is the problem!!

Did you bother to ask?

Did you bother to ask?

That. Have you asked? Because again it is blaming the other for not telling. But none of us are properly educated in this area, for many it's taboo or awkward and embarrassing to freely talk about. Plus, many women have experienced men not giving a toss, and many have still been raised with the belief that "woman has to please man", meaning why tell him what she wants?
All that means there has to be an environment and vibe that makes someone feel safe to open op. Being a bit sensitive and indeed asking, showing an interest and so on will help do that.

And yes, what women have to learn do more is to tell what they like. But that leads straight back to the earlier thingie: many are still programmed to 'we must please man' that they don't even think about what they like or how they like it.
Even if the woman self-pleasures regularly. There is self-pleasuring and there is exploring. Worlds apart...
This is why I said: we have to get educated. Men & women on different things.
Sex being a mutual pleasure is still very new. From the 60s onwards, which is not a long time, especially not in comparison to the thousands of years of sex being a 1-way street.

Some were just so focused on pumping away I *could* have crawled out from under them, went to the kitchen , had a sanwich, had a drink, and crawled back under and he'd have never bnoticed I was gone..so single-minded was he..
Dudes like *that* need a blow up doll, for all the actual interaction with the woman they do....she's just a warm hole to stick it in.

A couple of years ago I followed this workshop where there was also a guest speaker on sexuality. She came up with a beautiful way to tell a guy how to do it when for instance he's not exactly hitting the spot; "Oh that feels really good, but if you move a bit to the left it feels even better!"
Something along those lines.
You got to understand men don't get subtle like we do (no blame, it's what makes us different, wired differently), so you have to be clear. Men don't mind at all, it usually is US who think it's rude to do so, or daren't do so.
But trust me, the average guy LOVES it when you clearly tell him how you like it during the act PROVIDED you tell him the right way, for instance like the example above. Men can really love that, get turned on more even, because it makes you a confident woman and men love that. But... you got to do it the RIGHT way.
Men can also get insecure if you don't and feel they cannot please you. Then things go down the drain.

And sorry to say, if you end up with dorks in bed regularly, you may want to change your approach in finding bed partners, hihi.
And if it DOES happen still, why not end it in the middle? It depends on the relationship of course, but if it's just a hot date...
It's no strings attached and if it doesn't feel right (anymore) why not end it?
And yes, I have done that. If it doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good. Same with a partner btw. I don't see why you should have to prostitute yourself for the pleasure of the other.
Think of this: if a man loses interest, the game is over too as he goes limp. Fact that we don't go limp doesn't mean we should go on.

oldkid, there used to be sex forum here but was removed and changed the forums to PG-13 rated. Good thing because those sites who continued to have sex forums like DH went out of business and another site removed their forums altogether.

If you want to learn more about sexually pleasuring a woman, google is your best friend.

Happy New Year oldkid!