Treat every woman as an individual.
We're all different... making a general statement of what women want would be pointless because what Sally wants Susie might not want.
Me, aside from things I'd like to have...
mostly I just want someone to love who loves me back whole heartedly. To meet a man who is emotionally available and able to be intimate on an emotional level.
That, and especially the last part, which is where it gets difficult as there's more women emotionally ready & mature than men.
That does make it tough. Up until a couple years ago I seemed to only attract emotionally unavailable men into my life. I believe mostly due to my not giving myself permission to expect more... I somehow knew it would greatly reduce my chances of meeting someone because men struggle so much with being intimate on an emotional level. They were conditioned to be tough and strong... showing a soft side meant they are weak. That of course is wrong, I believe it would make them stronger because it would make them whole.
I'm not okay anymore denying myself that want and desire, my last year of self reflection has shown me being single and alone is far better than being with someone and feeling alone. I'm ready and have faith that some day he'll show up... just wish it wouldn't take so long, haha.
I'm also done with settling for less.
But I think in general it's something slightly different that's the problem. Men seem to have more difficulty with getting over an ex.
There's so many that keep ranting about their ex whenever they can, even 18 years after a divorce, are bitter and negative towards women based on a past experience and from that think it's okay to knock women in general.
I don't see nearly as many women do the same thing. I think this is because we are far more used to dealing with and processing emotions and feelings than men.
I also don't understand how they don't get their OWN part in what went wrong and take responsibility for that part as opposed to blaming the other party 100% for it going wrong.
That's not an excuse of course, like you say, men can also develop and learn to deal with that side of themselves, unfortunately many don't seem to do that.
I could respect if completely if a man would say "I'm too hurt, I'm not going there anymore." and simply take responsibility for his shortcomings.
But the constant knocking of women on here... If it was my forum many postings would be deleted and a lot of people would get warnings as I do not find it acceptable. It's the 21st century, not the Middle Ages.
In any case, I'm doing the same thing you are doing, and in the meantime I keep working on my own growth & development and healing my heart.
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I suspect it is not so much about the ex or accepting their part in the break up but the long term pain of the divorce and its' affect on their lives. Most divorced men are much more bitter over the divorce process and what it has done to their lives than the ex. She just tends to be the recipient of that bitterness.
Yes, I know most men are, which was exactly my point. It doesn't make sense. Women get hurt just as badly as men, their lives affected just as much and often even more so cos they are usually the ones who end up being single with kids. For them it's far more difficult to handle the pain and grief as they also have to be there for the children, provide for them, make sure there's a bit of a normal routine and food on the table. She often cannot shed her tears to let out pain when she needs to because she cannot upset the children who are hurting themselves.
Now not every woman is still at the age of having young kids at home. But they still get hurt, often have suffered serious abuse. I have too. Sexual, financial, verbal, mental, physical. Yet, I recovered and healed, moved on and found new happiness.
Sure, there were still sore spots, but I wasn't bitter, angry or whatever. Not about that ex who did that to me, not about men in general.
If you'd know what I've been through... Not just me who got abused, my 2 teenage kids as well, including sexual abuse of my daughter.
Yet, I managed to truly forgive him, heal, move on.
If a woman with such a background can do that -and I know there are many with similar stories-, then why can't men?
And if you (general 'you') can't, why not simply own up, say "I've become a grumpy person, bitter and disillusioned" and not knock 50% of Earth's population based on your experience.