Throughout my life, I've known that people do die. As a child, I (as is quite common) didn't really appreciate what it really means that people and others die. Pets would die, usually out of sight, and I would hear of various famous people dying, and of course, there were millions of entirely fictional deaths on TV and in films. Those especially, seemed meaningless, because I would see the same actors in another part, shortly after they "died" elsewhere.
More recently, I have had to finally begin to face much more meaningful deaths. Much more real. My mother died a year ago, my sister died suddenly of undiagnosed heart disease a few months after, and a month ago, my father went into a spiral of failing internal systems. One of my brothers was diagnosed with an incurable early-life-debilitating disease.
So all very quickly, my immediate family appears to be shrinking from six down to two.
How that has all affected me, has been difficult to measure in detail. My patience with others in fear seems to be increasing. My patience with people who insult others, or who indulge in prejudicial treatment of others has decreased even more.
I have no doubt that it will change how I relate to others, but how that will affect my search for a mate, I've yet to discover.
I'm posting this, just to share with others here who might be dealing with a similar life stage or experience. Mainly, I find that as with so many things, there was no way to prepare ahead of time for the effect of this.
Edited by
IgorFrankensteen
on Sat 02/16/19 04:33 PM