Topic: what can trust do to love?
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Ms.M's photo

Ms.M

Sun 04/14/19 04:49 PM

Trust is the strong foundation of love.
Narlycarnk's photo

Narlycarnk

Sun 04/14/19 05:07 PM

Romantically, mutual trust would terrify me. I do not even trust my self.

Spiritually, it would bring me peace.

That is a very thought provoking question. Thanks and hope you are doing well. waving
Edited by Narlycarnk on Sun 04/14/19 05:18 PM
Ms.M's photo

Ms.M

Sun 04/14/19 05:13 PM

I feel you:wink:
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catinidaho

Sun 04/14/19 05:13 PM

Trust can make love stronger.
Liz's photo

Liz

Sun 04/14/19 05:22 PM

Without trust there is no relationship.
Ms.M's photo

Ms.M

Sun 04/14/19 05:23 PM

Strongly agree
Edited by Ms.M on Sun 04/14/19 05:24 PM
oldkid46's photo

oldkid46

Sun 04/14/19 05:33 PM

NO trust = NO nothing. When we talk about something and make a decision and then you do something else, that relationship just died!! When you make a decision that affects me and it causes me a problem, the relationship is on life support. Without total trust, there cannot be a long lasting, strong relationship. Who, in their right mind, would even consider having one with out total trust??
Ms.M's photo

Ms.M

Sun 04/14/19 05:48 PM

I once did, i loved a man before w/o trusting him because trust can't easily be fixed once it's broke. Perhaps not giving a total trust has its advantage too yet the absense of it is totally unhealthy.
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ciretom

Mon 04/15/19 05:58 PM

what can trust do to love?

That's rather broad.
I mean there's a huge spectrum between "trust" and "distrust."
It's not like a light where it's either on or off because someone flipped a simplistic switch.

Trust is the strong foundation of love.

Not really.
But it kinda depends on how you're defining "trust."

Trust can make love stronger.

So can distrust if it's based on experience and knowledge.
I mean I can love a rehabbed alcoholic but not trust them to be alone for long without recidivist behavior.
So, I don't trust them, but because I know what's motivating them, and know what they'll do in certain situations under certain influences, I can understand and possibly accept that as reality, and love them more for it.

Of course there's not really any definition of "trust."
Am I loving them more because I trust myself and my own knowledge more?
Or am I loving them "stronger" because I know them and can trust them?
There's a huge difference.

Or are we just throwing the word "trust" out there and just loading it with positive connotations for the sake of specious emotional masturbation?

Without trust there is no relationship.

Are we just equating "no trust" with "distrust?"
Because lots of people have relationships where they just control their own selves and situation making "trust" moot. They don't need to trust the other person because they aren't really all that reliant on the other person. They take the positives as a gift, they treat the negatives as experience and information with which to make future choices. But all the consequences from negative experiences are mitigated by forethought and preparation.

Other than that, lots of people don't trust the government, but can't help but have a "relationship" with them.

Really helps to define terms.

Without total trust, there cannot be a long lasting, strong relationship.

Sure there can.
Happens all the time.
At best you can say "without the level of trust I idealize, there cannot be the type of relationship I've idealized."
But again, are we equating a lack of complete and absolute trust in all things to automatically = distrust?

I once did, i loved a man before w/o trusting him because trust can't easily be fixed once it's broke.

The major influence on it not being fixed is the degree to which you've developed a bias against trusting them or trying to.
There isn't some external absolute object called "trust" that they break and need to go find magic and expensive parts to "fix."

IMO when most people talk about trust being "broken" it usually means "I have formed a bias against them and gone through the decision making process deciding not to trust them." That generally creates increased hurdles for them to jump through. Not only do they have to "change" to being trustworthy, they have to overcompensate to get past a learned bias against them.
It's not hard to fix, you're choosing to make it hard to fix.
Kind of like going to a restaurant and getting food poisoning.
They can't just post their health inspector grades and reports to win back your business, they have to do things like offer coupons, and change to better dishes, and improve customer service.
It's not hard to cook the germs out of food, but it takes a lot more to overcome the learned bias about eating there again. And that's not their decision, it's yours.

So, ultimately:
Trust is the strong foundation of love.

Trust is the strong foundation of love only for people who think that finding love means they can turn off their brain and just wallow in positive emotions and pushing personal emotional, mental, and/or physical security onto the other person.
Venom's photo

Venom

Tue 04/16/19 02:15 AM

Exactly, love is like oxygen
Larsi666 😽's photo

Larsi666 😽

Tue 04/16/19 04:48 AM

Trust, yeah. Hard for me to find at the moment, because of too many bad experiences in the past. But I am not over the hump yet, maybe there is someone out there I can trust and rely on.