I know what I need to be whole, happy, at peace, and $^#@& on those who tell me I am "too picky" because I want "a mate to enjoy or believe in, things that I knew I liked"...
If we don't like and enjoy a lot of similar things...we will spend less time together/ have less in common, and, for ME..this is more inportant the older I get..
We all have an idea of our perfect match.
So often, when we find who we think is our perfect match is anything but.
She exemplifies this fact in realizing that there are limits that we all have in determining the right one for us. Those limits need to be realistic to our life and realize that it is all a personal decision based on our own needs and expectations.
I am certainly not where I want to be, in many ways..but, like your lines said:
"We can easily end up in a place where there is no option to go where we want, we can only go where the maze is still open."
Most of us are not where we expected to be.
Paths open and close all the time based on the decisions we make, sometimes, decisions that don't seem to be related.
While I understand about the cause and effect of reality, it is mutable to a certain degree. The maze is there but the solution can have multiple paths.
While we might feel the paths are established, it is our own resolve that dictates the paths we can take. Sometimes, we must travel the road less taken to find the solution. In this sense, we often erect barriers for ourselves where none should exist.
If they don't happen to be on the same site at the same time, or at the event you are at at the same time, or wherever...doesn't matter how right you two are for each other...it doesn't happen
Matching requires commonality.
There must be something shared to find them.
If you never meet, you cannot match.
Just because I may see a guy that looks interesting, he may not think *I* am cute, he may not like my looks at all...and may discount me without even talking to me..
*HE* has to be interested in me..not just *me* in *him*...it does take two..
Yup, the thing about relationships is it always takes two.
One sided relationships DO NOT WORK.
We all grow, and change, and (one hopes) become more sure of ourselves, out worth, what we need and want and can and can't live with...and the mere fact we ARE more selective does narrow down the pool...
When thinking about building a relationship with someone special, its not about saturation or the numbers. It only takes ONE.
The only way to do it is to narrow down the pool.
I don't want to date all women, I want to be with the ONE that is right for me. All the rest is just chaff. Discarded waste.
If you are looking for someone special, just for you, you are not looking for everyone that qualifies, you are looking for that one that qualifies most.
Its not about how many you have contacted, its all about how many fit the bill exactly.
Ya gotta know yourself, know hat ya want and recognize it when you see it in one. If ya see it it many, your expectations are way too wide.
Figure out exactly what you want in someone and everyone that is not that, is a pass.
It just is what it is...and the best we can do is try and work wothin the limitations..
We all have limitations.
We all have ideas about ourselves that are not realistic.
I quoted I_love_bluegrass, not to ridicule or minimize what she said but to emphasize it.
There's a lot of truth here.
Many people go thru life thinking that the world is theirs to command.
We don't think of ourselves as having limits because we are taught from a young age that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.
But reality is a very different animal that the fairy tales you are taught.
You have to understand that there ARE limits and reality does get in the way of the perfect world.
However, you can learn to adapt to the changes and make planned changes and have different expectations that are more in line with what reality dictates.
Sometimes, more often than not, it requires a compromise on your established expectations but if you are vigilant, you can prevail.
