Topic: I hate my life
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The Wrong Alice

Sat 04/20/19 04:51 PM

Dude, for starters, lose the knife
Or you'll dissapear down a hole, you'll never come back from.
No ifs, no ands, no buts
You don't need it, lose it
Your mum loves you, right?
That's something, that's a good something, that's a nice something
Have you ever thought of this? Instead of feeling miserable, for the things that you don't have
Why not be grateful, for the things that you don't have, that you wouldn't want
There's nothing wrong with comic books, video games and cartoons
You say you like MMA, well take some of your frustrations out in your training, working the bags, and sparring
The ladies like a man who keeps himself in shape
Sure, sometimes life sucks, there's no 2 ways about it, and sometimes in life, people get dealt s better hand than others, and sometimes, the ones that seem the least deserving, get dealt the better hands
But unfortunately, that's just a part of life
Try to just suck it up
Try to find something, that makes you happy
A cat, a dog, a song, a walk in the sun
Life can be hard and lonely, and sometimes, you just have to muddle through , the best you can
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Seakolony

Sat 04/20/19 06:09 PM

Being grateful for what we have would help you to improve your mood and attitude. You have so much yet sit around lamenting what you don't have. Some people out there have things way worse than you do. Be grateful you have a job some people don't. Be grateful you have the love of friends and family some people don't. Meditation to calm your mind and so much more.
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Mark

Sat 04/20/19 07:49 PM

I did get rid of it but I felt weak afterwards maybe I should get a gun instead plus there's all kinds of wrong liking video games and **** at my age that's why people ****ed with me all the time because they thought I was a faggot I know you said something about a pet I mean I have a dog already but I would love to get a pug or a bulldog however they cost a lot and have health issues plus I'm not grateful for what I have because I have no place I can call home plus the fact that people like my grandma are gone
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actionlynx

Sat 04/20/19 11:07 PM

Mark -- You need to stop. Just STOP.

R2D2R2D2 knows what he's talking about. He has struggled with problems too. He can relate to your situation. He and I don't always agree with each other, but I respect him. I can see he is a good person.

Secondly, the past is the PAST. Stop dwelling on it. It's taking up too much of your time and energy.

The same goes for what is beyond your control. Your mom selling the house is beyond your control. Being born with Asperger's is beyond your control. What truly matters is how you choose to handle them.

Right now, you are making bad choices. That does not mean you are a bad person. You are capable of making good choices. Doing so will improve your life in ways you currently don't see.

You know, I was bullied too. I had other kids call me a f*g**t too.

They do it because they knew they could get a reaction out of you that they found entertaining.

You don't need a weapon. You don't need to get even. You need to change your attitude.

If you break this cycle of anger, depression, and desperation, the bullies will lose interest in you. It won't be fun for them anymore.

Asperger's just makes it harder for you to recognize these things. It does not prevent you from adapting once you do know them.

Yes, being bullied sucks. Yes, losing your home sucks. I've experienced both. I'm still here. I'm doing better. And guess what? Most of those kids who bullied me now get along with me instead. Your life can change.

So....STOP.

Exercise is great for relieving stress and frustration.
Finding something you enjoy, that brings you peace and relaxation, helps as well.

But stop fixating! You cannot control other people. Right now you feel your life is out of control. There is only one way to gain control over your life: Take control of yourself and the choices you make.

Not everything is going to work out. Even the most successful people admit that they had to fail before they could succeed. The important thing was that they learned from their failures.

Right now, despite all your frustration, you are choosing to NOT take control of yourself. You are choosing instead to point fingers and lay blame on everyone but yourself.

In other words, you are focusing your energy in the wrong direction.



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Tom4Uhere

Sun 04/21/19 12:58 AM


Mark -- You need to stop. Just STOP.

R2D2R2D2 knows what he's talking about. He has struggled with problems too. He can relate to your situation. He and I don't always agree with each other, but I respect him. I can see he is a good person.

Secondly, the past is the PAST. Stop dwelling on it. It's taking up too much of your time and energy.

The same goes for what is beyond your control. Your mom selling the house is beyond your control. Being born with Asperger's is beyond your control. What truly matters is how you choose to handle them.

Right now, you are making bad choices. That does not mean you are a bad person. You are capable of making good choices. Doing so will improve your life in ways you currently don't see.

You know, I was bullied too. I had other kids call me a f*g**t too.

They do it because they knew they could get a reaction out of you that they found entertaining.

You don't need a weapon. You don't need to get even. You need to change your attitude.

If you break this cycle of anger, depression, and desperation, the bullies will lose interest in you. It won't be fun for them anymore.

Asperger's just makes it harder for you to recognize these things. It does not prevent you from adapting once you do know them.

Yes, being bullied sucks. Yes, losing your home sucks. I've experienced both. I'm still here. I'm doing better. And guess what? Most of those kids who bullied me now get along with me instead. Your life can change.

So....STOP.

Exercise is great for relieving stress and frustration.
Finding something you enjoy, that brings you peace and relaxation, helps as well.

But stop fixating! You cannot control other people. Right now you feel your life is out of control. There is only one way to gain control over your life: Take control of yourself and the choices you make.

Not everything is going to work out. Even the most successful people admit that they had to fail before they could succeed. The important thing was that they learned from their failures.

Right now, despite all your frustration, you are choosing to NOT take control of yourself. You are choosing instead to point fingers and lay blame on everyone but yourself.

In other words, you are focusing your energy in the wrong direction.

:thumbsup:
Awesome response, take heart to the reasoning.
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ivegotthegirth

Mon 04/22/19 09:46 PM

If I may ever so pleasantly interject; has //////////no no no. Never mind.
I don't want to get myself in trouble. Forget it.
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Riverspirit1111

Tue 04/23/19 01:14 AM

OP deactivated... hopefully he gets the help he needs :angel:
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actionlynx

Tue 04/23/19 03:07 PM


OP deactivated... hopefully he gets the help he needs :angel:


:thumbsup:

We tried.

Unfortunately, you can't help someone who is not willing to help himself.

:cry:
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Mark

Fri 04/26/19 09:55 PM

did I get blocked?
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Mark

Fri 04/26/19 10:06 PM

I'll never get over the past and nor do I want to make friends with those who mistreated poorly I felt getting even was the only way it would work out because that's when they finally knew when to stop except for this one ******* who gave me a titty twister and I slapped him so hard that I broke his sunglasses and he didn't show up to class he sat behind a wall like a little ***** that he is also I head butted this guy in high school for making fun of my dog that died around that time and for calling me retarded but first I grabbed him by the shirt and was going to **** in his ugly *** orangutan looking face. I ended up giving him a bloody nose but guess who got in trouble? it's because the school system is run by nothing but a bunch of ******* who don't give a **** about other students and let the ******** get away while they make you the bad guy because people suck. you're right how I don't need a weapon because I already am one.
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actionlynx

Sat 04/27/19 11:24 AM

You might have been blocked.

This thread may actually break one of the forum rules. Also, one of your posts might have broken one of the forum rules. Either way, you should have received an email explaining this.

As for your most recent post, Mark...
You are refusing to see the point. You are still caught up in projecting your emotions rather than looking inward to see how you could take charge of your own life.

Until you stop doing this, there is nothing -- NOTHING -- that anybody can ever do to help you solve your problems. Change comes from within yourself. Nobody can solve your problems for you.

So again, it comes back to changing your attitude, whether you believe me or not.

When you change your attitude, other people begin changing how they react to you. A positive attitude tends to bring positive results, especially from other people.
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Mrmxb

Sat 04/27/19 09:08 PM

Sometimes on the walls have that writing;
"Please do not write here"
smile2
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Mark

Tue 04/30/19 10:41 AM

My mom gave me the talk last night and she was talking about an RV and investing and saying it's too expensive to live in the OC and saying we might follow my sister and she asked me what I wanted to do but I didn't say anything because I feel like she doesn't care what's best for me and doesn't care about me spending time with my friends but I'm glad she said that I don't have to work at Stater Bros forever but still I feel like if I have a second opinion she will just brush it off and not listen to me despite me being an adult
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jaish

Tue 04/30/19 10:49 AM

Hello Mark,

Seems like you are already thinking outside of the box by sharing your personal life story. although advises are hard to follow, here's some I learnt the hard way.

for example, if past memories / school mates rise anger in you
erase them from memory.
who in hell thinks about school days.
(although i agree, quite a few people needs killing but my memory dims)

by the way, the comic book industry wouldn't survive if adults (men) didn't read them. i suppose you have a collection. Consider gifting them, trade, or Sale
who knows whom you may meet

And someone already said about turning your disorder into an opportunity.
why not?
but what is true opportunity: It is giving more than one receives.

makes sense?

Edited by jaish on Tue 04/30/19 10:55 AM
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actionlynx

Wed 05/01/19 02:41 PM

Mark, I will let you in on a secret.

In your parents' eyes, you will always be a child. That's because no matter how old you get, you will ALWAYS be their child.

Secondly, you have a disability. Yes, that may skew your parents' view even more towards child rather than adult. The good news is that you can change this.

Don't be afraid to tell your mother what you truly think. You lose nothing by trying. The worst that can happen is that nothing changes. But nothing will change unless you speak up.

If you don't say anything, you will continue to have regret, frustration, sadness, and anger.

If you do say something, then even if nothing else happens, you can proudly say that you stood your ground, put forth the effort, and communicated the thoughts and feelings you felt were important to you. In fact, that is part of what makes a person an adult. It could be an eye-opener for your mom.

You see, to get your mother to treat you as an adult, you need to act like an adult. You have to show her that you have matured mentally and emotionally.

Adulthood is more than just your age. It is largely about responsibility -- accepting it rather than avoiding it or making excuses or giving up in frustration. When you accept responsibility, you also have to demonstrate perseverance. When life isn't going your way, you keep trying despite failure. You keep moving forward, trying to make your life better. Sometimes that means we have to do a few things we do not enjoy, and would rather not do.

Who cares if you read comic books or watch cartoons or whatever else some may consider childish. Guess what? I've read comics as an adult. I watch a lot of Japanese anime too. In fact, I played roleplaying games like AD&D until I was into my forties, and I know people older than myself who are still playing them.

But don't take my word for it. Look at the movies. Look at how popular The Avengers, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, Iron Man, Batman, Thor, and The Guardians Of The Galaxy have been. Who do you think made those movies popular? Adults!!! And they have dragged their kids to see them, not the other way around.

Personally, I know how you feel. I've been there myself. I felt like my parents treated me like a kid until I was into my thirties. It began to change after I worked for my father's business for 8 years. Why that? Because it gave me a chance to talk a lot more with my dad. He got to know me a lot better than he had since I was a kid. In other words, communication is what caused my parents to begin treating me like an adult.

There are other ways too, as I touched on earlier. But good and honest communication is where it begins.

It is also a good way to begin taking control of your life. Voice your opinion.
State your reasoning. Get involved with the decision-making.

You can do this.
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almisam

Thu 05/02/19 07:07 AM

Appreciated....Nice words
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Tom4Uhere

Thu 05/02/19 08:56 PM


So you hate your life? I can promise you there are very few people who haven't said that at some point son.
Be a man and change it!

No
I don't hate MY life.
I hate the very idea of existing.
My life is inconsequential.
I experience both good and bad moments.
Its the whole concept of existence that I despise.

I'll never get over the past and nor do I want to make friends with those who mistreated poorly I felt getting even was the only way it would work out because that's when they finally knew when to stop except for this one ******* who gave me a titty twister and I slapped him so hard that I broke his sunglasses and he didn't show up to class he sat behind a wall like a little ***** that he is also I head butted this guy in high school for making fun of my dog that died around that time and for calling me retarded but first I grabbed him by the shirt and was going to **** in his ugly *** orangutan looking face. I ended up giving him a bloody nose but guess who got in trouble? it's because the school system is run by nothing but a bunch of ******* who don't give a **** about other students and let the ******** get away while they make you the bad guy because people suck. you're right how I don't need a weapon because I already am one.

WOW, MAN!
Are you seven?
Your picture doesn't look like a seven year old?

What am I even saying I don't have a life I'm ****ing 28 years old working part time as a bagger which is a job I hate I do **** that kids do like play video games watch cartoons and read comic books. I have trouble making REAL friends because they are all losers or get butt hurt when ever I make jokes I still live with my mom I have no place to call home since we had to sell our house and I don't even know why I even bother to be on this or any other dating site because I get no responses or if I am lucky to go on a date I just get ignored the day after. I mentioned that my goal was to do MMA because I used to get bullied a lot and I feel like if I make a name for myself all of that **** would stop and that way no one would ever try to **** with me again otherwise I'll end up killing them. I almost did kill someone a while back I had a knife on me and he was lucky I didn't use it on him because I have been paranoid after high school thinking I would run into old people that use to treat me like ****. Long story short he was some ******* who ****ed with me back in high school and he hasn't changed a bit. He had a picture of himself on Facebook holding a gun but when I got in his face he took off like a little *****. Anyway I know that I'm not wanted or needed by anybody and I know everyone wants me dead.

The ONLY person that can change your life is YOU.
If you are actually 28 you would think you have a bit of understanding about life and how it works, what are you 'sheltered"?
I don't want you dead so not everybody wants you dead.
Dude, get some HEALTHY self-esteem!
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jaish

Fri 05/03/19 09:19 AM

Hello Tom,
Based on the content you are right and my initial reaction was very similar, ‘stop it, man’.

(to Mark also; nothing new here; except an exercise in viewing oneself objectively)

But then as the advises came pouring in I began listening to the tone; Action and others; and it dawned that probably Mark is already viewing himself as locked in with what may be teenage madness. As per his diagnosis (my knowledge of Asper-something being limited) his ‘social circuitry’ in the brain is not functioning; and a part of the reason could be the ‘seething anger’ that is debilitating. .
(So obvious; okay, bear with me)

I then imagined the ‘fear’ of getting perpetually bullied in school (& life); something that would have skewed my outlook. I experienced a ‘skew’ during 19. An obsession. an older woman who by virtue of being married to someone was beyond my social reach. Even if our lusty interests were mutual, the obsession and the ‘sense of wrong’ skewed the relationship. I was a college student ; was finished even before I started. There’s also a;movie Mrs something with Dustin Hoffman.
(So I’m not alone. ha, ha; i'm reliving it now.)
--xx--

Let me now ask how many of us at 28 could separate our emotions and look at that emotional self detached? Particularly when something like ‘retarded’ is shadowing since he was a boy, the day he was informed about it; resented it; and asked ‘why me?’

As far as mothers go, I know a few people whose voice change when they receive a call from the mother. Not only commonsense; I cite this from a case study on ‘mother’s voice recognition’.by an eminent neuroscientist. Mothers live in our brain ( and I mean this outside of the Freudian complex )

By writing, Mark has taken a giant step. That he became an MMA expert, no doubt a turning point; was then. Now he yearns to be the normal I; a woman in his life and so on. It is Mark’s call to select from the advises. I personally think that instead of a change of scene he should risk taking a job that has ‘growth’ in it but I don’t know his circumstances. May be in Mingle he could begin with his profile, switch out from MMA expert to ‘health and fitness enthusiast’. Bring back a gleam in Mrs Something’s eyes.

G' luck.
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Mark

Fri 05/03/19 11:55 AM

I actually did go to school to get my certificate as a group fitness instructor but it's not something that I really want to do in life I just did it because I felt like it was easy
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Riverspirit1111

Fri 05/03/19 11:56 AM

What is it that you like to do Mark?