Ain't life grand a true reflection of mankind's beliefs... if you do not see eye to eye with the other you go to some war with each other some verbal some physical some a little of both... I think we all are some kind of angels and demons haunting this land and we each turn upon our own brothers and sisters... if you look at everyone through a dna chart you find you share the same blood as a king? You can be a lot of things throughout human history that all leads to this broken line of same relations with distant cousins... I have lived a long dreary life and i'm not even forty... my time continues to draw life upon... I have spit in death's face surviving a wreck to my truck and walked out from to flag down help and could not lift myself from the gourney that I lay stretched upon for clearance at the hospital. I truly did need to be wheelchaired out and I was stitched up with over 70 liasons a total of 150 stitches and almost came an inch from severing my aiorta… God gave me the will to live and keep dreaming. And I could have walked out just fine but rules is rules... I want a new life several hundred times I have told myself this while battling my demons with depression... little scars and little truths left behind I feel needy in a world that I am the strong one... bullies are cowards and if you are one maybe you should check your own sexuality beforehand because it all goes back to a point in time that you yourself were the victim and you denied your heritage... I can only be in love with a woman because dude's just don't enter my mind... I think a woman has a powerful voice and her will to be driven and forced under appreciated throughout time is offensive... she wants her bread and butter too... I think whether or not we truly amount to anything in life we're all miserable rich or poor and others view us as happy or sad? The truth is that what you view them as is usually the opposite in how they feel? We call can't be for certain whether we're living this life by some dream for ourselves making us rich in power or if our own souls are simply giving us a test and earth is the perfect testing grounds...

This is from my own book of poetry... The Breaths We Take... it is published so idk how the forum moderators feel about copywrited material that is your own?

The Longest Pause

Where once the heart yearned out for another and was calm to wait in the silence of the day
You find yourself kneeling beside the banister waking up from a morning of longing
Hoping each thought doesn’t crush your dreams of trying again
You’re not a fool
You’re not alone
All of us reach out past the deepest pits of ourselves and find the measure of our human emotions
Typically stretching each breath till you exhaust in a heated emotion of a newly found beat of life
Several times the peace of manhood beats against your heart letting you know you’re alive and your will to succeed is in reach
You yearn for another
Like the Fall’s fog rises and passes over shallower waters where your heart has been buried in your doubts that you’re doomed to walk eternity without another
Smile, you’re not alone and you can never be trodden down by a mere river in the expanse of the ocean of your heart
Your noble soul pouring each breath into your body
At that same moment, your future love breathes the same breath
Heart to heart staring at the moon and you’re too unfocused to truly notice each other except in the measure of waiting
A peaceful night as you truly understand your heart’s measure against the sands of a fading river of doubts that once clouded your mind
You walk hand in hand with the maker
Your own choice of whom you follow your heart to
And love is out there waiting still
Waiting for you to find yourself in the measure of time
So, you can meet each other again forever

Hope
I hope to keep believing
That one day people will be who they want
Be anything they want to be
Freedom gives us choices and voices and no longer are we staring at empty monitors
But exploring each other's hearts
You can argue and bicker amongst your friends and family
But when you consider how all of us is different inside and out
Are we any different at all?
You can be stupid it's not mentality you lack it's your indecision to be so judgmental on people different than yourself
You can be a scientist and still leave the headlights of your vehicle on when you're shopping at Walmart
You can make mistakes and reason within yourself that you still have things to do this morning
You can be brave and filled with fear
You can stop moving you can stop dreaming and you can definitely stop saying hello to who were
Or you can simply agknowledge all of our own fears and weaknesses makes us stronger?

So, I spoke to the Doc. And he said he's pretty certain I have carpal tunnel... and I'm a writer... I'm a trusting person in mankind but a botched up operation? My horoscope predicted fascinating details about my current life I was in awe how the stars knew these things... and when I looked into my future it told me of the love of my life would enter and be something unwordly… this person never came to be... she wasn't secretly stalking my fb as suggested she didn't pop up with this wonderful news... instead of information that was true that I already knew... all I got is half my heart taken...

I'm sad lonely and confused about what to do but I cannot give up I won't I refuse to stop doing what my passion is... I have moved big mountains I have climbed higher fences and I have never once turned my back on mankind no matter how many times it has spit upon me...

All I do is fade
And my dreams wash away
All my dreams are broken
And my mountain is not the top
the highest point I have reached is what's inside myself and soul
And all the rest fades away...
When you think you gotta climb higher mountains
And the road is not quite through
Think of a dream away
And I'll wish again for you
See the shining light on the other side
So if I can't wish for something
And this mountain feels icy hot
All I gotta do is try
And that says quite a lot
That I have my scars and have been bitten
And my dreams have not reached the other side
When I dream
I just don't want to fade....

There might be a gender role reversal and the term doctor is someone who knows you inside and out ;) so it might not be as bad but yea....

Hold on to me like a ghost
My empty child
Sleep a little longer in my dreams
Still, I can see past your soul
And how you wish for something new
Know that my dreams are pure and I part it unto you
When you are empty
And you feel lost and apart
Know the deepest part of yourself
Is following your heart
You can try to rest against a tree so let it be
Know that deep in your soul
Is the will to let it be...
you can move higher fountains
make your dreams all complete
Know who you are within yourself
Is complete and unique
You have tried and fallen empty as quiet as you are
Know that deep inside of your soul you're already a star
And if you keep up with your wishes make them all new
Know the deepest part of yourself is just part of you
You can lay empty and wasted and feel out of control
No matter the dream it's within your soul....

I'm not looking to change... not my beliefs not my goals not my focus I tend to live my life no matter how much she begs met to be a better man, because no matter how I feel about her if I do it for her and not myself... she's going to leave me anyway. And I will be a new person not knowing who I am... done that and was lost. What I hope for is gradual growth that this person keeps me alive and focused on my goals and ambitions love can happen at any moment but mostly when you accept your own faults just because it was time you accept yourself that you're not perfect and you can only be you cause no matter what someone tells you you're going todo it anyway

As I lay dying
You open up the doors of flame
When you soar above the stars
You'll never know my name
And if you think to find mr right
Without looking at me further
You'll never find the king you deserve the worst
I wake up everyday it's all the same
Why, do you keep pressuring me to take your hand
Can't you see I'm the one to blame
Can't you see in all this hell
I'm the one and we're all the same
And in the skies there's no escaping
From the times I've played
You're like the only prescription for drug I always need
And if you cannot look at him without looking at me further
You'll never find the king you deserve the worst
I wake up everyday it's all the same
Why, do you keep pressuring me to take your hand
Can't you see I'm the one to blame
Can't you see in all this hell I'm the one and we're all the same
And you're doing this to me
You're doing this to me
And I can't let you go
Can't let you go....

It's never a wise decision to keep guessing at life... sometimes we dream a little deeper knowing full well the consequences of being ourselves but who are we... are we mad or are we sane? Who is left with any kind of brain.. I sure ain't got the cotton to fix my scarecrow head... I want love in my life... some pure so soft to the touch that angels fly and crows scatter letting this man of tin not rust under the stormy weather... I have the heart of a lion but even I cannot battle a wicked witch being the only one in love while she flys above my house and screams into the night... landing on her to take her magical slippers if only I had the other shoe... I shall search for her till I can fit this missing shoe upon such a dire lady that the tramp in me can eat all the spagheti I can savor and still be sour after our kiss I want her to have the last meat ball... and as 101 puppies enter into our lives are we not like beauty and the beast but I swear to God if any other man called you a beast.. I'd rip his arms out....

ok I get 300 stares and met one person from here... and on the entire forums I've been getting tons of emails from some people interested in my pics but it's mostly bots... pop up and say hello? :P

As a Capricorn I can generally tell a lot of things
I decide my own fate and my choice of calling
Pick my own battles no matter how much a person may have said
I love with all my heart the whole world and in doing as such I am bound to make mistake after mistake
And in doing so grow a little bit more to perfection
I am distempered and often thought of as evil
If anything I'm pretty mellow
With a nickname like Berserker you gotta expect me to come out swinging
Charging head on into battle I think the greatest warriors could care less
I am a lot of things... a mad man a poet a friend... I do not lie and am a little psychic
People can cover up the fact they themselves are not perfect
And grow wiser upon the year
If anything... I think it makes us all... Human...

I was being pushed around
Bully after bully entered my life that I drew upon hatred
And when I could take no more, I snapped
They have called me a madman when I was merely defending myself
And in choosing my own enigma my own manifestation of who I was to become
Have made a lot of good hearted people distrust me
I myself have been young once and have drew a lot of negativity upon me from the world
I cannot keep fighting I cannot stop dreaming and hoping either
That those former bullies who I snapped upon
Were the first ones to defend my right to better myself and my hopes and dreams
Becoming my greatest friends when I thought them the enemy...

Who am I?
Who are you?
Who is any of us?
If you don't like it that I defended you, gl
I'm not changing for anyone
I'm taking a stand
I don't need to withdraw from battle
I don't need to think I need to be a better person
You're not going to love me anyway
I'll keep fighting
I'll keep praying
And when you do learn to respect the fact I came to your aid
Know that I actually cared when everyone else clearly did not...

This path we are on
It's already been decided by fate
You're going to make a few people mad no matter what
So in choosing your own outcome if you should or not be anything other than yourself
You try to make the world better and offend some
It's already been decided to just play it out...

I can tell a Rook from a pawn by now
I was 3 years old and already an old soul
You can be 99 and still be a young soul
That no matter how old you are... is nothing to how long your soul has amounted to on the scales of eternity...

Just like the roses spring up during Spring
What has your heart brought you
Have you beaten the harshest Winter
Reflecting justly on what you've done with your own life
People lie all the time
I value honesty in such a world
Why is it that everyone tells me their secrets...
I have remained a vault with no combination to break into
I have stored a lot of people's trusts and feelings
Never once opening that vault for another to know about another
They'll hear me talk about myself beforehand
I am more guarded with my friends than the government with the safety of it's people
A trusted ally in as lying world
And if you let me into your life
I suppose I'll just keep that a secret too
While showing you off to the world
That no matter how much someone values another
They keep telling you to keep up your hopes and dreams
Because of this we don't know who or what to become
Other than hope before the Fall....

I hate fighting
But will defend anybody anytime any place
Because it's hard to know the whole situation
Are any of us ever truly bad people
But we also have a lot of insecurities in this world
And those voices call to us to better achieve our hopes and fantasies
I believe in a lot of things, never had much faith in mankind
And maybe I should try to hear out what people have to say
Before sinking my teeth into the other like a shark
I have listened before and they kept at it anyway
I cannot change who I am or try to
I'm going to do it regardless
But I can be a better man knowing the whole situation first...

Darlin, let go of the past focus on the future
Cause without dreams without letting go you're never going to meet each other
Tides drift in and you've bumped into a few along the way
Never was the right one cause you kept searching
Not letting your heart rest to be you
You have a lot to say about yourself and the world
And you let that pride undertake the most important part of yourself
You are a shining star you can try to stay knelt down but you know you for you
And if being you is too hard and too constraint
You can always follow another's example
Be the person you want to be through the eyes of a tiger
You're ready for anything...