How to move on after a long-term relationship? Mother and da - Free Chat, Mobile Dating Forums

Topic: How to move on after a long-term relationship? Mother and da

Amsaintjohn

Fri 06/28/19 08:13 AM

I was a teen mom who eventually found love in my mid-twenties and thought I had found a partner to last into old age. My daughter also grew to love this man (she was 6 when he came into her life) and she considered him her dad. After nearly 8 years together he has left us. The reasons behind him leaving had nothing to do with loss of love for myself and my daughter but have proven to be irreconcilable regardless. My daughter and I both feel disappointed, angry, and sad. I’m not sure how to move on or even if I should give love a chance. I fear bringing someone else into our lives and at this point I believe that she would also be skeptical about the intentions of any prospective suitor. Has anyone dealt with something similar? If so, how did you and you child(ren) cope?

Sheri

Fri 06/28/19 08:46 AM

Your daughter has you. This is all that matters. I ran from my daughters father due to his abuse. I decided to just raise my daughter alone without any drama issues from a man and we did just fine. Kids adapt with or without a second parent.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎

Fri 06/28/19 02:40 PM

I always felt that one of the most important tasks as a single mother after breakup was to make sure I never exposed my children to negative talk about their father.
I feel the same goes for a stepfather who filled the shoes of a father for a longer period of time.
Even if the man was an a-hole, you keep your own anger, bitterness, disappointment and whatnot to yourself. And make sure the kid doesn't overhear you ranting when on the phone or with friends.
This will help the child keep a more positive view of love, relationships, the (step)father. If you don't, you ingrain them with fear and anger concerning love relationships and partners.
Also talk about the good things and good memories. Very important for the kid, and for you too. A breakup doesn't mean the time spent together suddenly was worthless.
Look at what you have learnt from it, that helps to move on.

The part about you yourself is time. Time to heal, get over it. And that takes time :)
Count on a year to find your own feet and more time after that to really heal the heart. Doesn't mean you feel crap all that time, not at all. Just that after about a year, year and a half you suddenly realize you feel "you" again.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎

Fri 06/28/19 02:43 PM

Oh, and make sure you are there for your daughter and don't lose yourself in your own feelings. The she may naturally take over and care for you, neglecting her own pain and possibly anger etc. This will cause her trouble later on in her own love life.
So no matter how you feel, make sure you are there for your daughter in the first place, no matter how difficult that may be.

ctr916

Sat 07/13/19 07:03 AM

...any extended family you can rely on?

LadyEEE

Wed 08/14/19 08:08 PM

That was SO beautifully said. Thank you for this. I needed this, in this very moment <\3

Tom4Uhere

Thu 08/15/19 12:16 AM

Guy here, sorry if I am cold.

Thing is, I do know a bit about raising a family.
I know there is much more than love needed to do so.

Granted, this guy hurt you and your daughter.
Consider THAT.
Its very important wisdom you should learn, not only about Him but about the situation (and yourself).

Where is your focus?
It needs to be on you and your family.
To depend on someone else, is unfair to you and your daughter.
Find your strength and make your own way.
When the right man comes along, it will present itself without question.
Till then, have sex, go on dates but never lose focus on what is really important.

I hope for you to experience the peace of a simple heart.
What you seek lies within you.

Edited by Tom4Uhere on Thu 08/15/19 12:17 AM

riverrd

Wed 08/28/19 03:37 AM

your kids come before any new lover. your a nice looking lady im sure when the time is right u will no. when to brig a new man in your life

Mike

Wed 08/28/19 03:57 AM

Its a tough one I know I'm divorced 4 years now and I have 2 kids. Daughter 6 and my son 9.
During this period I've tried to see woman when my kids are not around but my ex wife passed away the beginning of this year so my kids are permanently with me. I can not meet different woman all the time it would just confuse my kids so I'm using this site to meet women who understand my situation. Of course its easier said than done but I'm in no rush because I plan on taking my kids to Australia at the end of this year to join my sisters so that the kids have familiar faces and family with them.
Once there and I'm settled in a year or two I'll pursue a woman who's family orientated and see what happens.
All the best and good luck, I know its hard and your not alone. flowerforyou

riverrd

Wed 08/28/19 04:31 AM

riverrd

Wed 08/28/19 04:34 AM

I live in Australia nice guy im sure you will find a lady here you seem like an alright bloke

Pleasure Sika

Mon 09/02/19 04:34 AM

That's great advice from 'Sparkling crystal'.. Good luck to you

Edited by Pleasure Sika on Mon 09/02/19 04:40 AM

Chi07

Tue 09/10/19 10:01 AM

Ifeel you, i do understand case, im also in the same situation almost Coz for now me alone and my daughters, and the resposibilities is too much but i know im going to make it :grin:

Belle

Sat 12/21/19 06:36 PM

I like this advice. My dad cheated on my mom repeatedly during my teenage years and I used to listen to mom confiding to her friends. Sometimes, she asked me to spy on dad. I used to have nightmares coz of the this. Now as an adult, I am scared of commitment. No matter how much I reason myself, I always finds reason not to commit. Most of my childhood memories of my father was tainted now that I feel awkward with him even now.