Difficult things...
An acquaintance of mine lost her 29 yr old daughter 3 years ago when a totally drunk idiot hit her motorbike with his van.
She died on the spot, her husband -who was behind her on the bike- was badly injured and transported by trauma helicopter to R'dam hospital.
He missed his wife's funeral and everything as he was in a coma.
The trial on that is still going. It had ended after 3 years and 3 different courts. He got 6 years he initially had gotten.
But... then his smart-@$$ lawyer objected to that, stating there was a technical hiccup with the sentence. It had been manslaughter and he claimed it couldn't be because blablabla...
The case was dismissed and has to go to court again, putting the entire family through all that misery a second time.
Now how would you feel if you're the parent or husband in such situation? Not sure. I'd want him to get as much prison time as possible, but would I wish him dead?
Difficult to fathom.
Thing is... does it alleviate your pain when such a person dies? I don't think so.
You don't get your loved one back.
The ego will be thrilled, 'there you go, you MF!!!" but the pain won't go away.
That is sad and one thing that gets me is a smart lawyer!
It's not an ego thing. can't explain what it is.
Guess it's up to the individual to have their own feelings.
I see what you're saying though.
I always hope that if something like that would happen to me that I could be like a couple I once saw in a docu. Elderly, their daughter had been killed by a man who was imprisoned. He was not the best of persons.
The parents, however, got in touch with him and stayed in touch for years on end. They visited him, talked to him, got to know him.
And... they forgave him. Truly utterly forgave him! I cried, one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.
And you know what's happened to that man? He came to wholeheartedly regret what he'd done as by getting to know the parents he began to realize the impact and to see what he was like, what he had caused.
He turned around 100% from being a criminal to becoming a good person.
They showed the parents with him outdoors, talking, hugging.
Seriously amazing what love can do!
I think I was 26ish at the time, and remember thinking "Ifever something like that happens to me I hope I can deal with it that way too, because it is the only right way, the only way that leads to true healing."