How Far Do YOU trust? - Free Chat, Mobile Dating Forums

Topic: How Far Do YOU trust?

Tom4Uhere

Mon 11/25/19 09:33 PM

Consider this....

How much do you trust those you live with?

Can you place a $20 bill on the floor in your home and it never gets touched?
If you place a penny on the counter, will that penny be there next time you look?
Could you put $1,000.00 on the stove and know it will be there when you wake?

It's your home.
Do you have dominion over your own possessions?

Let's say you bought a prime rib steak.
You have plans to make shish-ka-bobs from the meat.
Will it be there when you go to make shish-ka-bobs?
Will the ice cream be there when you want to make dessert?
Is that penny still there?

To sacrifice a $20 bill to know if you can trust your child too high a price?

I raised 4 children.
I often left money laying in the open for anyone to take just to know if I could trust them.
Luckily, I raised my children to always ask before they took something they knew did not belong to them.
Granted, as teens, I got a lot of questions, and yes, I often said okay but the point was, they asked before taking.
Plus, they knew just because I said yes once, each time still needed permission because that money did not belong to them until I gave it to them.

I was never a hard-azz.
I made decisions according to their need.
It was more important to me that they respected the fact they didn't own the thing till the owner gave them ownership.

Can YOU lay a $20 on the stove and go to bed knowing it will be there when you wake?
Can you buy ice cream and know it will be there when you want to make a desert?
Is that money fair game for whoever finds it, in your own home?

Is it only human nature to take whatever you want?

If you teach your kids that they should always seize opportunity whenever it presents itself, what are you teaching them?

Is there trust?

lilwmn

Mon 11/25/19 10:13 PM

I could lay money anywhere and not worry about it, none of my kids(now grown adults) would ever touch it, nor would when they were kids. Now the ice cream, I'd have to tell my son I bought it for something specific, then he wouldn't touch it. Otherwise, it would be gone.

Edited by lilwmn on Mon 11/25/19 10:16 PM

Tom4Uhere

Mon 11/25/19 10:34 PM

I understand.
(about the ice cream)
I also understand about the money.
Problem is, many people do not have that security.

I have an ulterior motive.
I have been considering opening my home to a foster child.
It's my thinking process.

Trust is very important in a family/home-life environment.
I know how trust works with my own children but I am wary of trusting a child exposed to harsh conditions.
Can that trust be taught?

Given others may have experienced trust issues in their own experience (ex's that have different priorities) I am wondering if others might give me examples of how normal trust methods of teaching may have negative results.

It also allows others, raising children from distorted values to express their unique challenges to personal trust issues.
Plus, I know children shackled by drug-induced or pier-induced influence often present trust challenges.

From my own experience, with my own children, I was lucky.
Others may not be so lucky and this thread might help them, in some way?
If not, it might give them a voice to express their frustration.

At any rate.
I feel I could offer a child something valuable to life.
I just don't really wanna get hurt tryin.
If'n ya know what I mean?

Unknow

Tue 11/26/19 04:24 AM

I trust no one. Not even family

SparklingCrystal 💖💎

Tue 11/26/19 05:41 AM

Doing something deliberately to see if another person can resist temptation is not trust. It's an act of not trusting them otherwise you wouldn't even think of doing that.
I've never done that, cos I would never think that way to begin with.
I also don't find it a test of trust to put a bar of chocolate somewhere or a container of ice-cream and then finding they ate it without asking first.
I used to do that myself as an adolescent. I just could not resist the temptation. But I was totally trustworthy. I'd never ever have taken money either. But a packet of cookies was too much to resist and each time I walked past I just had to get one. I always left the empty packet in the cupboard as if that would hide the fact they'd gone, haha.
My stepmother successfully made me feel guilty, which is one of the most destructive unhealthy emotions.

All in all I don't think I'd ever do such tests to set up my children or anyone else. I don't see the point.

Tom4Uhere

Tue 11/26/19 11:42 AM

Must be nice to live in a world where trust never needs tested.

I routinely leave money laying wherever I want in my own home.
I don't do it as a test, I do it because its my money and my home.

If there is a $20 laying on the counter and someone needs it and asks, I'm more likely to say 'go for it' than 'no'.
However, if I tell them they can have that $20, it doesn't mean they can have anything they want that doesn't belong to them.

As for the food items, I shop by lists.
The list is right beside the food money on the counter.
If you eat the last cookie, write it down so I can buy more.

When someone new comes to my home (my girlfriend), I pay attention to what goes missing, if anything. It helps me understand who I am dealing with and the type of person in my home.
If they steal from me, in my own home, they are not invited back.

The bottom line is if it doesn't belong to you, it isn't yours.
If it doesn't belong to me, it isn't mine.

Larsi666 😽

Tue 11/26/19 12:18 PM

Trust? Is there such a thing? My ex opened confidential letters, work related stuff. And spread the news. That's where trust ends grumble

Rock

Tue 11/26/19 07:08 PM

If i can't trust someone,
they aren't allowed around me.

SpaceCodet

Wed 11/27/19 11:10 AM

I trust people to be who they are.

Seamus

Wed 11/27/19 11:39 AM

I trust people to be who they are.

My thought precisely. :thumbsup:

Geeluv39

Wed 12/18/19 03:16 PM

Wow, I have never seen it this way. I love your perspective! Great post...

Ladywind7

Wed 12/18/19 03:48 PM

I totally trust those who live with me and they trust me. I would not be here if I did not trust them.
My daughter not so much. She thinks what is mine is hers. And to be honest, I am flattered she wants trinkets from me and clothes and my make up and jewelery and weird things I pick up like strange shaped stones.
I am not very materialistic. If I was, it might matter.

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