Topic: 1st time dad needs advice.
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619MARINE's photo

619MARINE

Thu 01/09/20 11:06 PM

2 years ago i was dating a girl and be broke up. And she got back togather with an ex.and got married. A year later she had a beautiful baby girl. At 1 year old her new husband got a dna test and found out it wasnt his. And he divorced her and accused her of cheating on him.all the time. She is a loyal girl and i know she would not cheat on any one she is with. So after he filed for divorce i get an instGram invite from her and her name is Neira. On her inst gram she has pics of this baby girl. Instantly i knew in my heart without a doubt she is my daughter. So Neira calls me and wants me to meet her at a park to meet my daughter who is 1 year old. I go.and meet her and my daughter and i started to cry. I just lost my mom and she looks identical to my moms pics as a baby. She would be her 1st grand baby. On wuth story. Neira asks me to be in babys life which duh of course im gonna be in her life. So i baby sit any time she asks and allows me to take her to beach and parks and be in her life. I buy groceries and diapers every 2 weeks and and she has 3 other kids so i pay an extra $400 for those kids to help.her out. Shes a single mom and the otjer kids dad never sent a penny in tjeir lives. All in middle school amd 1 in hivhschool. Just to help her get em ahiea clothes fokd whatever. Thus goes in for 6 months and suddenl.aNeira snaps at me one day aand says i suck at being a father and i will never be a good dad. And that my baby jasmine already has a legal dad and so on. Total bi polar i think. Well needless to say that crushed me pretty bad. And she for the next 4 or 5 times i go there to see her at like 4 pm 6pm 7pm 8pm Neira says shes sleeping or some lame excuse. I did my best at being a dad. I had wonder parents and have a pretty good idea on how to be a dad. And at the moment i am homeless and a Marine Veteran. I cant try to do anything until i have a place again. But is tneir any advice anyone can give me to get back into her life. She just turned 2 last October. I spent christmas alone and birthday alone and i dont kno× what else todo. The reason im homeless is not because im a drug attic or alcholic i shattered both my feet while deployed and to many missed days cuz its hard to stand. Any incouragement or advice? My ears are open and welcome anything. You can text me or reply and leave ur # anything. Thanks and god bless ya'll.
Ladywind7's photo

Ladywind7

Fri 01/10/20 02:25 AM

Get a paternity test, then you will have rights to your daughter. I think that is how it works in the USA?
If not, others may help from your country.
Thank you for your service to your country :smiley:
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Unknow

Fri 01/10/20 08:28 AM

First take care of yourself. Get some help from veterans organizations to get. Assistance in housing, or anything you need. Second look into gaining other types of traing so you can sit and work. Wants you show you have stability the court will give you rights to see your child or have full custody. Good luck to you
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Cosmic Charlie

Fri 01/10/20 10:10 AM


First take care of yourself. Get some help from veterans organizations to get. Assistance in housing, or anything you need. Second look into gaining other types of traing so you can sit and work. Wants you show you have stability the court will give you rights to see your child or have full custody. Good luck to you


I agree m8. It's good advice...

She's had a bit of turmoil in her life by the sound of it. There is stuff to work through there.
It's going to take time. It took me about 6 months to be on nice enough terms with my first wife, to not react to things.
Don't pester her m8. You'll be in your daughters life again, just look to the future. I get a visit from the daughter of my first marriage pretty much every week. she's 31 now. Take whatever help you can get. I would. :thumbsup:
Think about youself for the time being. Take care.
Butterfly7's photo

Butterfly7

Fri 01/10/20 10:59 PM

I agree with the lady above who suggests a paternity test. You have been through lots of trauma and a sweet baby/toddler can easily remind you of your own mother or sibling. The mot important thing is having actual proof this is your daughter. Legal Aid should be able to help you for free. Living in California, you should be able to get some free housing and help. I have learned that good things happen to bad people, and bad things to good people. Sometimes we have to wait to let life get straightened out. I will pray for you to get your life straightened out. I am from a military family who fought in WWI, WWII, Korea, VietNam and Desert Storm so I want to thank you for your service.