How to reduce anxiety...
Realize what works for one person may not work for you. You find what works for you and stick with it.
Some considerations:
~Inability to accept reality as it is.
Accept reality as it is. Sounds simpler to say than to do but ya start small.
If your car is broken, no amount of worry will fix it. The only fix for a broken car is to repair what is wrong.
~Expectations beyond your capacity to influence.
Understand your abilities and capacities. Car is broken. There is no money to have it fixed and you do not have the knowledge or tools to fix it yourself.
Worry will never replace action. The car will remain broken till you have the money, knowledge or tools to fix it. Until that reality exists, why worry?
~Trying to live one's life by other people's example when those realities do not fit yours.
Set your life standards within your own capacity. Your car is broken. Your brother's car is not. No point beating yourself up over it. The reality that he can afford a Lexus and you can only afford a Honda is how reality exists.
His comment "You should have bought a Lexus" is him putting his expectations on you. If you accept this as reality but reality prevents it from happening, its just how life works. Give it no power over your contentment.
~Inability to accept changes.
We are part of a dynamic chaotic Universe which is in constant change. Why would you think your life could be constant? You car is broken now. It wasn't broken before. You can't live in the past. Live in the reality which is occurring at this minute. Learn to adapt to ever-changing reality as time progresses.
~Brain chemical imbalance.
See a doctor and get the RIGHT medicine for you. Some brain chemical imbalances can be rectified with the right medicine. The trick is to find the right medicine at the right dosage which makes you feel yourself and not all loopy or tired. It worked for me but it took some honest feedback from me and a doctor who did more than push the name brand. No drug will work by itself. It takes counseling and inner resolve to find your contentment. Imbalanced brain chemistry can cause other areas of life to spiral out of 'control'. Fix the brain, yes but also fix those things in life the imbalanced condition created. Worry can't replace action.
~Improper parenting.
Break poor conditioning. Parents often over-protect their children. Humans learn by making mistakes and suffering consequences. A parent who constantly prevents or fixes mistakes is improperly parenting. It makes the child unprepared for the harsh reality of life. When that child grows into an adult and reality comes a knocking, they are unable or unwilling to deal with the consequences of reality before them. This causes anxiety. One must understand how they were conditioned in order to break that conditioning. Everybody makes mistakes, few gain the wisdom needed to prevent them from happening over and over. Learn from your mistakes so you have the capacity to prevent them from happening again.
~Delusional inadequacies.
Understand and accept your abilities. A simple way to prevent or stop delusional inadequacy is to practice previous victories. Many times when facing a problem or issue we tell ourselves we can't deal with it even tho in the past, we did. We convince ourselves it is more complicated than our capacity yet its a similar reality. Simplify the condition needing fixed. Take action to a known conclusion and deal with the changes as they occur.
~Delusional influences.
Another delusional inadequacy is from allowing others to have power over you.
You allow them to tell you that you are unworthy. You fixate on the negative and allow it to build to anxiety. Take back your power.
~Setting goals too high.
Set realistic goals that are within your capacity to fulfill. Start small. Get some victories. Slowly build your self-esteem with victories over ever increasing goals. When reality is too much to bear, ask for some help from those with the ability and will to help you. As you gain control over your life, you will need less assistance.
~Religious self-persecution.
Seek guidance from your clergy. I've realized religion is not for me. It does work for some tho. Try to realize religion can sometimes create anxiety.
Good luck with that...
~A high degree of regret.
Live in the present. What is done is done, you can't change the past.
What was said can't be unsaid. It can only be covered up by saying something else. Mind what you say to others.
What was done can't be undone. It can only be covered up with new deeds. Be careful what you do.
Live in the moment. Use the experience of the past to gain wisdom so you can make changes in the present which effect your future. Just remember, you don't live in the future either. Be flexible with expectations of the future.
Plan for multiple outcomes. Be ready to get a curve ball once in awhile. The further ahead you plan, the less likely the expected outcome become reality.
~Placing high value on low concern events.
Learn to prioritize your concerns. Set up a rule of concern for yourself (this worked for me).
I used an adaptation of the
Prepper's Rule of Three
You can survive for 3 Minutes without air (oxygen) or in icy water. You can survive for 3 Hours without shelter in a harsh environment (unless in icy water) You can survive for 3 Days without water (if sheltered from a harsh environment) You can survive for 3 Weeks without food (if you have water and shelter)
My zones of concern involves:
1.
Immediate Personal - things which effect me right now.
2.
Immediate Loved Ones - Things which effect those I love right now.
3.
Extended Personal - Things which might effect me in the near future
4.
Extended Loved Ones - Things which could effect those I love in the near future.
Low priority - Things which could effect me or my loved ones in the distant future.
No priority - things which will not personally effect me or my loved ones and things which I will never have influence over.
~Worrying about worrying.
Action trumps worry. Contentment trumps anxiety.
The anticipation of an anxiety attack often leads to anxiety.
Ya gotta let it go. Like depression we often hold onto anxiety for dear life.
We feed it. Ya gotta stop feeding it. Its not something others can tell you, ya gotta do it inside yourself.
Try to remember in life, you always have at least two choices.
Sometimes one choice is favorable but with unfortunate consequences, something neither choice is favorable and you just choose the one you thing will result in the better outcome. Choosing not to choose is also a choice with consequences. Use wisdom from your own life experience to try to make the best choice.
On this planet of nearly 8 billion other people you are the only person qualified to be you. Own it.
If you live your life by someone elses expectations you are not really living YOUR life, you are living their idea of who they think you should be.
Good luck
Seek some counseling (it couldn't hurt) but find the right person for the task at hand. Be honest when you talk, they can't advise you if you feed them lies. Be honest with yourself too.
Identify and remove delusions. Its very difficult to redelude yourself once reality becomes clear.
Edited by
Tom4Uhere
on Tue 11/10/20 08:25 AM
