A woman marries a man and has ten children. The man dies, so the woman remarries and has ten more children. The next man dies, so the woman remarries again and has ten more children. That man dies, so the woman remarries and has ten more children…
The husband dies again and finally the woman dies as well.
At the funeral, the priest mutters, “Thank God! They’re finally together!”
A man at the funeral asks another man on his left, “Which husband do you think he means? The first, second, third or fourth?”
The man on his left says, “I think he means her legs.”藍

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house?
The ghosts bring all the boos.

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

How do you make a blond laugh on Saturday night? You tell her a joke on Wendsday night.

At a wine merchant, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard, with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.
The director of the winery wondered how to send him away.

He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said:
"It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable”.

"That's correct”, said the boss.

Another glass:

"It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results”.
"Correct”.

A third glass:

''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive”, calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.

The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and - if I don't get the job - I'll name the father”.

When you die, what part of the body dies last?
The pupils, they dilate.

I sold my vacuum the other day,
it was just collecting dust.