A subject that's a bit taboo to talk about. As if it's something to be ashamed of or judged for?
In general there's a negative connotation concerning menopause, among men, but also women.

When it began for me in 2018 I posted that enthusiastically on my FB page. Women reacted negative, because they were glad it was over, it had been so so bad, and so on and so forth.

I was open, enthusiastic, and above all, curious! I had no idea what to expect, don't know if there can be a family pattern, and if so that didn't help as my mother needed a hysterectomy at 46. So no clues whatsoever.
I was curious and interested to experience how a -my- natural menopause would go! I always felt that for me it would be very mild. And I wanted it as natural as possible so my girlie does have a bit of a clue from her mother.

Well... it started from one day to the next when I got unbelievable blood sugar dips. And my hunger & satiated mechanism didn't seem to work anymore. So blood sugar dip and all, it didn't help if I ate something or not, it didn't seem to matter much.
It felt like I had a bottomless pit instead of a stomach and even whilst eating I felt I was starving!
If I ate too much I felt sick, if I didn't eat I felt sick. Wonderful! Almost like being pregnant again! Often doctors don't know about this symptom which is one that happens very often in women. They suffer because of it for years because the doctor says he can't help them?

Time to see the GP. Blood test showed my oestrogen was very low. Considering my problems and barely being able to function normally due to these enormous blood sugar dips, I got the birthcontrol pill.
Hilarious as I had a coil fitted 2 years earlier for protection, now I needed birthcontrol on top of that, hihi.

Everything stabilised though, the hunger, sickness, hairloss, blood sugar dips, so I was a happy woman again going through peri-menopause. And my hair grew back by taking B6, which tends to drop during menopause and can cause hairloss.

But now I stopped the pill 2 months ago as it's considered not healthy when 'older', grin.
I was afraid the ailments would resurface, but... they didn't!! Yeehaaa!!
And no more periods, so yep, I'm through it.

Nevertheless... I got some other things when I was a month of the pill, things I never had before: getting really warm, no sweating though, so my version of hot flashes. Problems falling asleep, which I NEVER had. And the occasional heart flutter. Also my muscles, ligaments etc are aching like bleep, even when I haven't done anything.
Not handy when I'm trying to build up strength with my physiotherapist!

Time to see my Care for Women therapist again! I want to know what she thinks as NONE of the menopausal symptoms are things you have to live with.
That's one thing I think most women don't know and should know:
basically ALL menopause symptoms you can have are caused by the hypothalamus and pituitary, two glands in the brain that regulate everything from heartrate, temperature, to hunger/satiated etc. etc.

Now my hypothalamus & pituitary aren't happy due to my traumatic brain injury so menopause on top of that... I'm counting myself lucky it wasn't/isn't worse!
But... you can take supplements to alleviate menopausal problems. (go see a good therapist or doctor, alternative medicine and methods can offer a helluva lot too!!)
In most cases it's a matter of too little progesterone as many have oestrogen dominance. You need far less oestrogen than you need progesterone.
That's what I hope to find out with my therapist because if that's the case I can for instance use progesterone cream 2x a day.
But I want to be certain so I don't cause a greater imbalance in my body.

I know they discovered this in Australia off late (various progesterone products for various issues) and you can get it there via doctors. Many Australian women have benefited from it so far.
But the thing is, the cream has existed for decades!! John Lee MD ProgesterAll. I got to that via a classic homeopath & orthomolecular therapist.

Anywho, just wanted to shed some positive light on it :)
I never forgot that one male member once said he didn't want a woman his age as he then had to go through menopause trouble with her.
I was shocked. I never thought men could think that way about it.
And I want to say, it doesn't have to be a problem, it doesn't have to be years of suffering and hardship. And if there are intense problems it can be alleviated or sorted with the correct help and supplements.
It's not something to fear or avoid.

Another thing men can fear and complain about: mood swings.
Lemme tell you, in all these years since it started in 2018 I have not had ONE moodswing. Not one!

I guess I just want to spread positive light. You can get help if need be to sort/alleviate issues.
And also important to know that it doesn't have to be all that bad at all.
If I'd had a partner during these years he would not have noticed a thing.
Mind you, I'm not wanting to convey that it's about trying to not being a bother for a man. It's also women getting some respect for the natural processes we go through. And women loving their own body and natural processes they go through :)

Yes, a bit of a taboo subject but the last year or so it’s been spoken about a lot on media. Even employers are now receiving advice on how best to help their menopausal employees and people are much more aware of it now and no longer shying away from talking about it. It is after all a natural process of ageing as a woman.

I’m blessed to have gone through it totally unscathed. In fact, no one could tell that I was going through it at the time and, like you, absolutely no mood swings. However, I did suffer (not too badly) with hot flushes but learned to breathe through it. My mother had a terrible time with it and I was expecting much the same so it’s not true that daughters will have the same experience as their mothers. A few of my friends have had a tough time of it too but I’m just grateful I didn’t.

When I was younger (in my prime) I never thought about it. I had no real experience seeing what women went thru. Then my X started going thru it and Oh Boy, that was intense. For me, sleeping beside her, the hot flashes were the worst. Then there was the depression and mood swings which were worse than when she was pregnant or menstruating.

Now, older...I want a woman who has already been thru that life change and has emerged as a new person out the other side.
I'm not looking to reproduce (done that) and I'm not interested in experiencing another woman going thru it (done that).

It is often said men go thru a 'mid-life crisis'.
Many mid-life crises are psychological. There is however a physical change which happens in men at a certain age range. While nowhere near the intensity of women's menopause we too go thru physical changes.

I refer to it as the "Old Man Groan". We get to a point in life where our bodies start to tip.
I started feeling the effects in my mid 40s.
My muscles started to loosen, I started feeling the weather, the taste of foods started to change, I started to feel tired.
I could no longer leap into the bed of a pickup truck. I started drifting off watching TV. I started adopting the 'old man groan' I had heard my father make. Even Dr visits for checkups changed. Drs started imposing physical restrictions on me. In my younger years, I was NEVER sick. Suddenly, I started feeling pain and sickness a bit more intensely. Colds and flus lasted a bit longer.

Granted, my disability creates a lot of symptoms of Old Man Groan to this day but before I was disabled, I started to feel it coming.

Most men will not talk about it openly. Many want others to believe they are still 'in prime condition' and try to hide the Old Man Groan.

In dating, this can be deceptive or a down-right lie.
"I Love Mountain Climbing" but in reality they haven't climbed anything they haven't needed to in over twenty years. Then you date them and plan a mountain climbing adventure and they either refuse outright or make excuses why they can't.

Glad it was easy for you as indeed it can be pretty intense for some women. I had an aunt who kept having hot flashes regularly even post-menopausal until she was in her 70s I think?
And good to know that it's not the same necessarily for mother and daughters. In a way logical but I wasn't sure. I hope by the time my girl gets there it's easy for her. I'm not sure if it's related to PMS, as in when you had that badly maybe also getting more menopausal issues?
I never really had PMS, my daughter did (not so much anymore). Sometimes she had to stay in bed, home from school, as a teenager, feeling really messed up. I never had that.

Anywho, glad to hear it's out in the open a lot more! About time too!
I do think western lifestyle has had an impact on it, making it worse. I once read that Asian and African women barely had menopausal issues, and girls didn't have PMS. Because their diet is more natural and much healthier.

I didn't really have mood swings during my period nor PMS. And mood swings during pregnancy... never heard of that tbh?
My 2nd pregnancy wasn't easy and I cried quite a lot, but nothing to do with mood swings but all to do with being in a helluva lot of pain. My hypermobility got worse due to changing hormones and it got so bad that I was limited to what I could do. For instance going out to buy bread meant that I was done for the day. Whilst having a 2 yr old running around, haha.
But no mood swings.

As for men, what you often see is that they stay strong physically well into their mid to late 60s. Not all of course. But my neighbour a few doors down is one of those. I think he's about 72 now. You couldn't tell, but the labour he does, all day long, is astounding! Strong as an oxen.
I sometimes think a man doesn't get to full strength until approx 60. Again, not for all, but if they're healthy, live healthy etc. I've seen men around that age and thought of another strong younger one, thinking what would happen if they'd get into fight. I'd put my money on the older one!

In any case, a shame you had a bad experience with menopause. But it doesn't have to be bad at all.
I also wonder how someone's outlook on life is related to it, or not. The way you're wired, or have allowed life and its lessons to shape you.

Oh, and this thing that happens to men, middle age, we call that 'penopause' :D

or penipause
Why does everything a woman think about when she thinks of men is the penis?
With that thinking wouldn't menopause clearly be called
'Ginapause'?

Then you could look at it from still another angle and call the man's version MENopause and the woman's version WOmenopause...

Yes, you may whip me now, I deserve it.

Whipping huh... let's go for a flogger instead!

Penopause is not a woman's thing, it is an official term used in Dutch language :) Even in the medical world, and even in Dr Vogel -homeopathy- method the term is used.
And of course menopause has nothing to do with men, I'm quite sure you knew that. It's 'pause in the mensis' and mensis (menstruation) means 'month'.
We could, however, have a men-o'pause --> taking a break from men, a pause in dating

As for the penis... of course a very important body part! You got me there. Meaning an extra round of flogging!!

Hahaha, I get it.


Flogging...LOL, Haven't heard that term for years.
A Chief Petty Officer used to say that.
He also was fond of saying "Grasp you about the neck and squeeze smartly"

Can't say stuff like that anymore, people get offended easy now.

I agree with what you said. I asked my gf if her menopause was bad and she told me not really bad, sometimes a bit uncomfortable from the hot flashes tho.

For me personally, it was the hot flashes that I hated. I'm already a hot body person so when she was having hers, it was unbearably hot. Used to wake me in the middle of the night and I would have to go to the sofa to cool down.
The X was a complainer because she was an attention hog but I didn't help by coddling her.
It was easy to see when she was faking and when she was truly miserable.

My gf is just the opposite. She never complains but then again she is self-sufficient and understands her body...perhaps better than I understand mine?

Well, in a way that's what I meant with, would personal growth have to do with it or not? Sure you may still have annoying or possible bad symptoms, but then you'll deal with it entirely different.
And since all ailments hinge on how negative or positive you are in life (proven these days by all kinds of research) one would say that makes a difference.
I also read years ago that women with empty nest syndrome have a more difficult time during menopause. I never had empty nest troubles. NOT at all :)
I was ready for my kids to leave the nest, just like they were ready to leave. It's a normal natural process of letting go. I was happy to have 100% freedom back and I had plenty of things going for myself in my life.
When I moved into my current home I was alone for the first time in 24 yrs, no partner, no kids.
Many would have trouble with that, I quite loved it, hihi.

Happy you got to hear a somewhat different story from you GF!
Most important thing to know is that it's not something you have to suffer for years. There are so many ways to alleviate it or sort it.

As for the flogging... I wanted to call my 2nd book "Flogging Love me!" but the publisher wasn't happy about that. Now it's called "Boundless Hope" which I am not really happy about, hihi. Flogging Love Me has a much better feel to it :)
They did put a flogger on the cover with an image of the main female character. But I would've preferred my title!

we men suffer a similar condition, called low T.
we start loosing muscle mass, balding, weight gain and even mood swings.
we start loosing testosterone in our 40's, and it also has a wide range of side effects that will effect each man differently. and to different extents..

it aint anything us guys like to talk about. but it happens to all of us. just like you lady's and menopause.
most of us guy's will even experience prostate issues because of it.
thats why you see adds for the lil blue pill, T-boosters and hair treatments all the time.

it is just what we as humans have to deal with as we get older.
lucky for you lady's out their you feel more comfortable talking with each other and comparing notes, then most guy's will ever be , even with their doctors.
so you actually have that advantage over US guy's.

(hey I might never have been married, but I got older 6 sisters LOL ;-) )

I'm actually not so sure that women talk a lot about their menopause. I guess if it's a really good friend, maybe. But in a way it seems quite the taboo thing and I'm also not sure that all women are comfortable with the fact they're losing their fertility.

I read a very interesting article yesterday about oestrogen dominance.
BOTH men & women often experience this and suffer from it.
We as women can of course naturally get this during/after menopause, but there is an extra BIG factor at play here too that affects BOTH genders:

Xeno-oestrogen.
These are petroleum based oestrogens that are all around us these days as we are surrounded by products that are petroleum based. From synthetic materials (clothes, rugs, curtains and so on) to products we use like make-up, care products and so on.

These xeno-oestrogens are fat-soluble, not water-soluble like normal human oestrogen, and the body doesn't know what the heck to do with it to rid itself of it.
And because there's so much around us now most people have these in their system, and too much of it, which causes oestrogen dominance, with all the symptoms and ailments that go with that. Not just in women, MEN ALSO!

This overdose of xeno-oestrogen wreaks havoc on the males hormones, his testosterone levels, and can cause for instance depression -esp when 40+ -, weight gain, prostate problems, ED problems and so on.
Lord knows even hairloss in men is related to this as oestrogen is related to that, so is testosterone btw.

And like men, many women also suffer because of oestrogen dominance, especially during/after menopause, but it can also mess up hormones before that.
Girls getting first period before even 10 yrs old for instance.

The way the body mostly deals with oestrogen dominance is by creating fat cells. It can be stored in there, which is the bodies way of keeping you safe. Since this xeno stuff is fat-soluble the body doesn't know how else to rid itself of it.
Odd thing is that the body can also make oestrogen in fat cells!
So there's a clear link here between gaining weight when getting older, for both genders, and oestrogen.
It's amazingly intricate stuff, hihi. Worth a full study to understand the whole lot!

In a way we've messed up so many things in our natural world that we've messed up our own bodies too. A good hormonal balance is crucial to a healthy, balanced body, whether male or female.

well, I was not exactly suggesting that a woman would sit down next to another woman on a bus, and have it as part of a normal conversation ;-)
but I have been exposed to many embarrassing conversations, to which my being male, had me politely excusing myself. when my sisters and their friends got to talking. even with the girls and women I've dated over my life time to date.
from childhood to present. women talk about everything from getting their period, and comparing breast size, and bra's, to boys and pretty much everything in between.
perhaps it is just my observation.
but, it seems.. you ladies are just wired to be more open to talking about things of a "more personal nature". (generally speaking) then most men are.

I mean how often do you see guy's asking each other if they need to go to the bathroom??

yah, estrogen is a problem as testosterone declines with some men. in many cases we can actually start growing breasts because of it.
men should also read possible side effects of taking supplements like testiphine, because they can actually trigger estrogen production if taken in too large of a dose.
Us men, should really ask the advice of our doctor rather then listen to sports stars and actors.
before taking supplements.

I think that's related to the fact that women being together with other women is what is soothing to us. It's how we're wired. Sisterhood is what reduces stress, releases oxytocin, and makes us feel good.
For men that works differently, the competition thing works that way for them ---> sports for instance. That's why you can see the men that lost a match still have this comradery. Also other friendly competitive things are part of this.
For us women it's exactly the other way round, NOT competing but sharing, supporting, doing the sisterhood thing that way.

And yes, we women talk about a great many things. Often the man in our life has no idea, haha. It is relationship, sex, money, sex, men, relationship, sex, etc. hihi. And yup, we can talk about quite private and intimate stuff!
It's a good thing most men haven't a clue, lol.

thats what I meant by being wired differently crystal.
our phyches are developed completely different by gender. most men for example would rather club each other with a bat, then discuss how many times we get up to go to the bathroom. LOL ;-)
PS: we also love to lie about our conquests, because it's easier them admitting the truth. this is known as bragging. the more a guy boasts, the bigger
the lie he's telling. ;-)