"Defending the honor of your lady" is an archaic concept of a bygone era and in some sidways modern manner, chauvinist in and of itself. Or is it? This sub-issue has had a light shined on it during recent events. I think I saw a thread about it in the "Movies" category.
To digress (a little because it applies) to the sub-issue, the "Ike and Tina Scenario" is a NEVER and violence for any reason from any gender is WRONG! Two things to clarify for the young and others perhaps unfamiliar; "Ike and Tina Scenario" refers to male on female domestic violence, a byproduct of chauvinism. "Violence for any reason" circles back to civility, recent events, and potential chauvinism (?) in the idea of defending your lady's honor. I am all too aware she can think, speak, and defend herself probably better and clearer than I..most likely with more than that modicum of decorum, civility, and eloquence than I could ever hope for. I am sorry, call it and me what you will. If someone insults the woman I love (sounds a bit like both of the "ch" words), female family member or friend..I am going to say something as well. Hopefully not but if it were to escalate to something I am uncomfortable with, I WILL be standing in front. I also have been guilty of joking with the guys about how emotional women get when perhaps making decisions or how unreasonable and unfair it is to bring up a word said 10000 years ago with that female savant memory. I suspicion the dumb insensitve narrow-minded short-sighted stinky caveman has been brought up during girls night out as well. Can we call it a wash?
The impetus for this actually came from a "women with short hair" thread in Dating and Relationships. From my age and perspective I recalled the Dorthy Hamill signature cut when I was very young. Later in Middle and High School there was Pat Benatar and more so Joan Jett tough girl cut. There was also a high tight haircut for some reason I associate with being mean. Perhaps it was the night time soap drama Joan Collins effect. (Youngins, If you don't know'em Google'm)
It occured to me that my associations were with the: cute and unthreatening, barely post pubesent erotic fantasy of the worldly girl, and the witch. As progressive as I would like to think I am, WTF!!! WHERE in THE FRIGGIN Misogynist (something you do to your finger with a pin) Handbook did THAT come from?
I am very cognizant of how early in the still ongoing game the 80s were for breaking in to the Boardroom(s). I am aware of the double standards, the double work for fractional compensation, and the attitudes. For the same assertiveness a man was a Go to the Getter and a woman a Bee to the itch. I know all of this. Aside from that I wasn't in any Boardroom. I was just a kid or at best a not quite college grad.
In the late 90s I was making my way in to a few Boardrooms a few times. I thought women were so smart, tough, and terrific. They would look directly into the eyes of their male exec coutparts with equal footing and say things like, "Well whose Little Richard are you going to suck to get THAT done KARL?" LMAO, precious moments. My favorite bosses were female, balancing that toughness with a sensitivity that was good for business as well as morale. Though I believe it all to be authentic, in my 20s and in that era I didn't realize the unique nature and luck to work where I did. A real exceptional exception to the rule. I was not thinking about perhaps not wanting to be tough when inherently strong. How phallic based and crudethe tough talk was. How obvious it is now the disparity one still might feel in being a full member with all the privilages to a club they had no part in building or chartering.
Anyway Blah Blah Blah. Here it is 2022 and I am awakening to the fact of being 1 generation removed from the days of the often harassed "Little Lady Secretary Pool". I know I am not consciously sexist but the traditional definitions of chivalry might be. Modern women don't need rescuing but at least in some figurative way maybe on occasion would like to be. Everyone has the ability to ride the big white horse and save the day but perhaps should wear less armour.I will open a building's door for anyone if given the chance. My old fashioned hang ups are at least occasionally walking around a car to open the door for a lady and being waited for to do so despite obvious ability to open a door, and flowers. Most surprising non-traditional experience: receiving flowers from a lady...incredibly touching! Tear worthy, Smile gluing, Cool Factor simultaneously! Most homophobic thought: it would be just too weird to walk around a car to open a door for a Dude. Not sure I could do it even for a joke. We are walking contradictions. Everyone looks back on their own "olden days" missing the manners, traditions, class, and eloquent gestures of the time. They are both correct in doing so and have idealistic blinders to the evils that exist in any era.
Lastly, no matter how much of a progressive, altruistic, renaissance person you would like to view yourself to be, there is nothing more manly (or womanly) than peeling back the layers of antiquaited ideas of what being a man, woman, person, hero, good or evil is, to see what predjudices still lay within. Perhaps chivalry is that extra special effort in manners and protection of that extra special someone. Maybe chauvinism is not seeing or admitting when you are the one less capable and more in need
Edited by
Beachfarmer
on Mon 05/09/22 11:15 PM
When I say Shake that Thang 
