We split up about a year and a half ago!! I was so devastated cause I never expected it, I’m 55 years old and I never thought that I would have to start over at my age!! I was never told why or what happened and she blocked me on everything!!! We were best friends at least I thought we were !!! I guess she thought the grass was greener in someone else’s field!! She hasn’t found anyone yet but she’s been on plenty of dates !! I just don’t get what changed her mind after 24 years together!!! I would do anything to get back together with her!! As for myself I haven’t dated anyone in all that time cause I know how hard it would be to find someone like her !! Also when I was asked to leave our house two days before Christmas!!! Do you think she was cheating on me ?? The scary part is it took her no time to go out and date after I left !! All I ask is it worth pursuing her or just move on like she did, and is there any chance she will realize what she’s done and try and get back together!!! If anyone has advice for me I surly would appreciate it !! And maybe some help in trying to get her back !!!
My X and I split up after 25 years and yes, it only took 8 months from the time I noticed a change till I'd had enough.
But just as it takes two to make a marriage, it takes two to break a marriage.
That was over 10 years ago.
Hind-sight really is 20/20. Looking back, I realize I contributed to the problems which broke us. Neither one of us were totally in the wrong and neither of us were totally in the right either.
Honestly understanding what happened helped me be able to move on with my life. At first, I thought I would never find contentment again but as I came to terms with reality, I learned to control my own emotions and that allowed me to make better decisions.
It really doesn't matter why she did what she did or why she continues to do what she does. Our bond has been broken.
Its important to remember we all change over time.
Sometimes the change makes the bond stronger but sometimes the change weakens the bond.
When the change weakens the bond to a certain point, there's no recovery possible.
Consider living in the moment.
Take stock of yourself as a person.
Surround yourself with things which make you, you.
Get rid of everything else.
Build yourself back up, focus on your needs and desires. Its okay.
In order to start a new relationship you must first purge yourself of the old one.
Adopt new habits and start doing new things which are for you, to make you a better you.
Take back your power over your own life. If she is constantly consuming your thoughts and decisions you are giving away your power to her or rather, your memory of her.
Try not to compare your life to what she would like. You are single now, start thinking and acting that way.
Look back on your life and heed the lessons you've learned but don't get lost in them. Gain wisdom from the experiences you have already had. Stop repeating past mistakes.
One definition of insanity is to repeat past mistakes expecting a different outcome.
When she has 2nd thoughts and wants to come 'home' realize that door is now locked and you deserve better. Betrayal can be forgiven but that doesn't mean its forgettable. It also doesn't mean you should open yourself to a replay at a later date.
She may have loved you in the past but she obviously no longer does. She may have been living a lie about loving you and finally decided to stop trying. Either way, its over and you should pocket the wisdom you gained and move along.
Leave her in the past where she belongs. Focus yourself on the present, where you belong. Create a future which gives you the contentment and enjoyment you deserve.