My mum is alone, lots of physical ailments for which she has for instance a scoot mobile, special chair, cleaning lady 1x a week and so on.

She occasionally has heart problems, blood thinners and they cannot get the viscosity right so she has to test herself often, which she then doesn't do or forgets etc. And every time it's too thick or too thin. Bloody dangerous!

Twice she had to go to hospital with ambulance because of heart/blood viscosity in the middle of the night.
Once she fell.
Now 4 days again she fell ago before going to bed. She doesn't know why, says she didn't get dizzy, bent over for some reason she cannot remember, and then she completely past out.

When she came to she couldn't move, took her nearly 2 our to get to the hallway while on the floor still. Why she did that I don't know as she has an alarm to press for immediate help.
In the end she did that, police came over, had to ram down the door, ambulance people had great difficulty getting her up.
Nothing broken but she's bruised all over and can barely move around. Thank goodness she had her walker upstairs, usually it's in the downstairs storage/shed.

In any case, I told my daughter yesterday and both her and my son in law immediately reacted I had to do something. That she can no longer live this way by herself in the apartment building. I agreed, but I know my mum and I feared talking to her about it.
She also has issues with her mobile which she cannot sort (beyond her wheelhouse) so currently no one can phone her, but she can phone herself.
Very unpleasant situation as I had to wait for updates on Facebook.

She phoned earlier around noon to tell me she's okay. Big relief.
I wanted to address the issue of her moving, as we want her to move closer to us which means another province and area.
I decided to be bold, and I just told her that Monday I was going to phone about that to see what's possible concerning her moving closer to us. I didn't ask. Just told her.
And...
She was happy!?!?! She really wants to be closer to us and was very enthusiastic about it!?
It'd be the in between version for the elderly, not a home, but a cosy small apartment complex for the elderly with care facilities and alarm system in the apartments. In the town centre close to shops.
She was SO happy!

I think she actually may have wanted this for a longer time but feared we didn't want this?
And she said she was afraid we'd move away from here. But we have been living here for 20 years and my kids are not going to leave this province. I may at some point, don't know, but I'm not going far -if I go- as I want to be close to my own kids and grandchild!

ANywho, I think she was relieved. She said she liked that I was going to do this. She was truly pleased?! So I think she thought of it before but didn't know where to begin with it all. And now I just took control, meaning she doesn't have to worry about it.

Now fingers crossed I can get it sorted since she then has to get a place here while she's from another province. Wait and see.
But I'm going to do my darndest to make it happen!!

And I helped her fix her phone while we were on the phone so she can now access internet and WhatsApp again. Turned out she'd accidentally switched that off herself.
In the past she could easily do these things herself but she's getting more forgetful with the years, even though she's only 79, and less and less computer savvy like she used to be. She doesn't seem to understand anything much anymore of the things that she normally did herself until a few years ago.
But now she doesn't really understand how Facebook, WhatsApp etc work anymore, while she's been on it for yonks.

ANywho, when internet was back on on her mobile, she immediately got messages from all kinds of people and she was SO HAPPY!
I think I seriously made her day today, haha.

I also told her to check her blood.
"Yes, but I feel fine, I can always feel that."
Yeah, right. Like when you just past out? Check your blood!!
"Yes boss."
Lol. Hope she did it.
Kinda funny my mum suddenly is open to me taking control. New one on me.
Happy I dared to be bold!

It is a new world for them once they get older and can't do the things they use to.. At times it finally comes to a point that one needs someone full time to live with them or a nursing home which should be the last option for the elderly in my opinion..

I have recently become a Caregiver as a second job.. So far those that I have seen all live with family but since they work etc they have applied for Caregivers to come into their homes to help with their parents for daily routine type stuff like baths, preparing meals, dressing & exercise, light house work.. In order for the parent not to go into nursing homes.. At this time I have been assigned to a 89, 93 & 96 year old. Actually it has been tiring but rewarding in the end just to sit and talk to them at times..

There may come a time, that she will need someone to live with her full time due to falls.. Which is one of the main reasons the ones I have seen are now living with family..

Just take one day at a time get her closer where family can go see her more.. It will mean more to her now then it ever has..

Yes, that's why we want her here. Then we can all visit her regularly which now isn't really an option as it's too far away. Her social circle is getting smaller as it is because of her ailments. So if we can visit more often, that'd be great!
Also, the place I have in mind offers many things for the elderly living there and if she makes new friends there she might end up happy as a lark!
If the falling etc. becomes more of an issue she'd have to go into a nursing home. But that is right nextdoor this care-apartment for the elderly. We have that in between option here. It's where they still live on their own, but the apartments have caretakers close-by, alarm system in the entire apartment, thrombosis/blood service in tha house, also hairdresser, restaurant etc. etc.
It's where people tend to move when a normal apartment or house isn't possible anymore. Much more care all under the same roof, it's all specifically designed for the elderly. Plus there are other elderly people so very easy to socialise. They organise things there too.
It'd be perfect! IF I can get her in.

Having her live with us isn't an option, not something that is normal over here either.
Hopefully the above option will work out!

It sounds like the perfect place for her.. And I assure you it would be a great move for her and your family.. She would be much happier closer to all and so much more options for her to get out and meet new friends..

Yes, might actually get her away from her PC on which she is mostly following all that negative news stuff. She has no hobbies, so all she does is follow the negative chit-stirring news and things, including those conspiracy things that when I double check aren't true at all.

So she's in such a negative spiral in that sense. If she'd have other elderly people around, more family visits, fun things to do in that apartment complex and in town, she might actually become much 'lighter' and happier again!
Would do her health a lot of good too.

Odd thing is that -if she's allowed to move here into that complex- someone else will have to die for there to be room :/

My parents are both together still . We are a large , very close family There is just no way I would allow anyone in my family to be placed in a nursing home . I am financially secure and have plenty of space at the beach .


@crystal .. everyone’s circumstances are different . Hope things work out for your family .

Phew, busy morning on the phone for mum!
She can move to this area without any hassle, for instance because she now lives in another province. No problemo!
So I signed her up right away. There is a waiting list but that's fine. At least she's registered. And gives her time to mentally prepare her departure from that city.

Trying to get home-nursing ASAP to get my mum showered and clean.
She daren't even phone to have the physio come to help her as it is.
But the usual stuff: lack of personnel, blabla. So wait and see.

Trying to get her phone problem sorted with her provider. No success yet...

In the meantime made an appointment for myself for mammogram (national screening).

Spent over 2 hours on the phone. Everything's done for now.
Time for a break!

Sounds like you have it going well and all planned out...

At least this way she will be ready for the move and if they give you some kind of time line on how long the wait maybe can even start packing a few things..

Exactly! She can't do much physically concerning packing but putting a few things in boxes here and there should be possible. Small bits end up a big thing in the end, haha.
Her cleaning lady can put them out of the way somewhere.

As for the stuff she can't / won't take with her we will get a thrift store that will empty the entire place, sweeps it clean too. So she only has to gather things that she wants to keep.
It will mean saying goodbye to some furniture I think, houses may be a tad smaller, but it is what it is.
Thrift store doing that also means we (my kids and I) don't have to do that. Just rent 2 student movers in and a buggy or small lorry for the stuff she wants moved. The rest will be done.

Kind of fed up with phoning now. It's gone 4, been on the phone since 11, hihi.
Granted, I took half an hour break for myself to go for a walk!

In spite of all my efforts still no shower arranged for this week... Next week I did get arranged. Turned out she thought she had that booked, but hadn't. So at least I sorted that as well!

Ha! It does seem to pay off: finally one nursing organisation that can go to my mum tomorrow to get her in the shower!!
They can also come 2x a day to help her get dressed/undressed if she wants that.
Amazing as none of the more known organisations had space / personnel?!
And I phoned quite a lot of 'em.

YES, my mum just phoned me, tomorrow 10.30 she's going to get a nurse at home to help her shower :D
Damn, I feel chuffed that I got that sorted in spite of it being difficult.
My mum is SO happy!!
And she sounded so much better. I think she's really happy that I'm doing all this for her.