Topic: Guys, what do you mean when...
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SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 02:19 AM

Guys, what do you mean when you say, "I'm quite open-minded"?

I come across this a lot on the dating site I'm on where you can make quizzes for the other gender to fill out.
Many men say that in their own quiz, "I'm open-minded, how bout you?"
Or something along that vein. There is no context, just that. So this is NOT in a conversation but a question in men's quizzes.

Gals... how would you interpret that?


Just curious to find out if I'm jumping to the wrong conclusion with what that makes me think & feel.
Edited by SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž on Sun 10/16/22 02:21 AM
Vincent's photo

Vincent

Sun 10/16/22 04:51 AM

That might mean they have loose morals. Anything goes with them. Being open minded is good, but if it's too open, it won't be good.

They could be open minded about sexual things.
Edited by Vincent on Sun 10/16/22 05:03 AM
Riverspirit1111's photo

Riverspirit1111

Sun 10/16/22 05:39 AM

I've always thought "open minded" was a good thing. I used to put it in my profile, until I saw the negative connotation attached to it on this particular site.

To me, open minded means you are receptive to other peoples opinions, thoughts, and ideas about life. Willingness to challenge your own thinking to learn new ideas and concepts, then weigh them against your own in order to either expand or change your way of thinking, or hold strong to your way of thinking.

It's about growth and being open to evolving to higher thinking. It's about accepting others as they are rather than judging them because they don't hold the same ideologies as you do. It's also about being open to the fact or possibility that you don't know everything and being okay with that. It's also about trying or exploring new things/activities in life. In my opinion, open mindedness is a good thing.

What I've seen here, when someone posts they are open minded, especially guys posting it, is a bunch of comments suggesting they are wanting an "open" relationship, meaning casual sex with multiple partners.

I just googled the topic and found varies responses/interpretations, haha. The majority of interpretations match the actual definition of what open mindedness is. Searching deeper, I did find a couple interpretations that match the concept of an "open" relationship, casual sex. One comment suggested the phrase "open minded" being a code of some sort, bait, to seek out the ones that will engage in sexual activities either on the first date or the second, or are open to a threesome.

So with the question posed... "I'm open-minded, how 'bout you?"... It's impossible to know for sure what they are referring to without more context. I'd have difficulty answering that, especially if it is a "yes or no" question.

I think with what I've learned from online dating sites, I am more inclined to interpret that question as bait, lol.

Does the quiz give you space to expand on your answer, or is it just a "yes or no" kind of quiz?



Edited by Riverspirit1111 on Sun 10/16/22 05:40 AM
soufiehere's photo

soufiehere

Sun 10/16/22 06:53 AM

When I see "open-minded" I see desperation.

They are now at the point they will take anyone,
any time, any place.

And I suspect they refer to the sexual
arena also.

The LAST thing they mean is their mind is open
to new ideas and/or taking in new concepts
of life.

Good question, Crystal ;-)
Vincent's photo

Vincent

Sun 10/16/22 07:22 AM

They might also be desperate perverts or just perverts in general, man. Ha ha ha!
Edited by Vincent on Sun 10/16/22 07:36 AM
Larsi666 😽's photo

Larsi666 😽

Sun 10/16/22 07:36 AM

I am leaving out any reference to sexual activities ...

Being open minded to me means willing to listen to other people's opinion, accept other people's opinion. Without singing from the same hymn sheet.
Kevin's photo

Kevin

Sun 10/16/22 08:07 AM

Well I'd mean, being open to the thoughts and opinion of the other person, respecting their intellect and agreeing to disagree.
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 08:09 AM


I've always thought "open minded" was a good thing. I used to put it in my profile, until I saw the negative connotation attached to it on this particular site.

To me, open minded means you are receptive to other peoples opinions, thoughts, and ideas about life. Willingness to challenge your own thinking to learn new ideas and concepts, then weigh them against your own in order to either expand or change your way of thinking, or hold strong to your way of thinking.

It's about growth and being open to evolving to higher thinking. It's about accepting others as they are rather than judging them because they don't hold the same ideologies as you do. It's also about being open to the fact or possibility that you don't know everything and being okay with that. It's also about trying or exploring new things/activities in life. In my opinion, open mindedness is a good thing.

What I've seen here, when someone posts they are open minded, especially guys posting it, is a bunch of comments suggesting they are wanting an "open" relationship, meaning casual sex with multiple partners.

I just googled the topic and found varies responses/interpretations, haha. The majority of interpretations match the actual definition of what open mindedness is. Searching deeper, I did find a couple interpretations that match the concept of an "open" relationship, casual sex. One comment suggested the phrase "open minded" being a code of some sort, bait, to seek out the ones that will engage in sexual activities either on the first date or the second, or are open to a threesome.

So with the question posed... "I'm open-minded, how 'bout you?"... It's impossible to know for sure what they are referring to without more context. I'd have difficulty answering that, especially if it is a "yes or no" question.

I think with what I've learned from online dating sites, I am more inclined to interpret that question as bait, lol.

Does the quiz give you space to expand on your answer, or is it just a "yes or no" kind of quiz?

It is the exact same for me, all that you describe. To me personally it's also a good thing, the openness to learn and grow etc. But it seems in the dating world it's limited to sex, easy sex, no commitment as they want to keep things open etc.

In the quizzes there are 3 multiple choice questions for which the maker has to come up with a few answers to choose from. It's set up in such a way that at least 1 option has to be wrong, meaning you cannot continue with the quiz. Basically the maker decided that anyone choosing that answer isn't a match, so your out when you do.
And there are 3 open questions after that. So a total of 6 questions. With the open questions I could explain my reply, not with the multiple choice ones.
Usually I don't bother with a quiz if they ask that question.
As Vincent says, makes me feel they have loose morals. But it's so typical that so many men ask this question.
Edited by SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž on Sun 10/16/22 08:23 AM
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 08:12 AM


When I see "open-minded" I see desperation.

They are now at the point they will take anyone,
any time, any place.

And I suspect they refer to the sexual
arena also.

The LAST thing they mean is their mind is open
to new ideas and/or taking in new concepts
of life.

Good question, Crystal ;-)

Oh, shoot, yes! It could mean that too!
Thanks for your feedback. Exactly how it makes me feel, bar for the desperation as I hadn't thought of that yet. Another reason to skip men who ask this, haha.
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 08:15 AM


Well I'd mean, being open to the thoughts and opinion of the other person, respecting their intellect and agreeing to disagree.

That's what it means to me as well, but I'm not convinced it's what men mean when they ask this, hihi.
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 08:17 AM

It emphasises how important it is to communicate clearly and not ask / say things that can be interpreted completely wrong.

Occasionally (not often) I see men add something in brackets behind a question in their quiz, for instance "blablabla {not intimate)"
I guess those are the guys thinking with the brain in their skull as opposed to down there, haha.
Edited by SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž on Sun 10/16/22 08:19 AM
Riverspirit1111's photo

Riverspirit1111

Sun 10/16/22 08:42 AM



It is the exact same for me, all that you describe. To me personally it's also a good thing, the openness to learn and grow etc. But it seems in the dating world it's limited to sex, easy sex, no commitment as they want to keep things open etc.

In the quizzes there are 3 multiple choice questions for which the maker has to come up with a few answers to choose from. It's set up in such a way that at least 1 option has to be wrong, meaning you cannot continue with the quiz. Basically the maker decided that anyone choosing that answer isn't a match, so your out when you do.
And there are 3 open questions after that. So a total of 6 questions. With the open questions I could explain my reply, not with the multiple choice ones.
Usually I don't bother with a quiz if they ask that question.
As Vincent says, makes me feel they have loose morals. But it's so typical that so many men ask this question.


Ah, the open questions wouldn't bother me, but I don't think I'd like the multiple choice questions, I never liked those in school either, haha.

After joining the forums, it was quite a shock to me to learn that "open minded" evolved into a completely different meaning than what I believed it to mean, what it means to me, and still does.

With so many using the internet for casual hook ups, I can see how it came about though. I'm curious to know if it only applies to the online dating world. I think I'll do a little investigating and ask my co-workers and family how they would interpret it, hahaha!

With that in mind, I would avoid those who asked that question as well. And it does appear that it's typical men would ask this question, I've not seen many women ask the same. At least not here on Mingle.



motowndowntown's photo

motowndowntown

Sun 10/16/22 09:58 AM


When I see "open-minded" I see desperation.

They are now at the point they will take anyone,
any time, any place.

And I suspect they refer to the sexual
arena also.

The LAST thing they mean is their mind is open
to new ideas and/or taking in new concepts
of life.

Good question, Crystal ;-)


Gotta agree with Soufie on this one. From what I've seen on here anyway.
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 10:16 AM


I am leaving out any reference to sexual activities ...

Being open minded to me means willing to listen to other people's opinion, accept other people's opinion. Without singing from the same hymn sheet.

Yes, same for me. But it's one that can have several interpretations so not handy to use (without further explanation).
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 10:24 AM




It is the exact same for me, all that you describe. To me personally it's also a good thing, the openness to learn and grow etc. But it seems in the dating world it's limited to sex, easy sex, no commitment as they want to keep things open etc.

In the quizzes there are 3 multiple choice questions for which the maker has to come up with a few answers to choose from. It's set up in such a way that at least 1 option has to be wrong, meaning you cannot continue with the quiz. Basically the maker decided that anyone choosing that answer isn't a match, so your out when you do.
And there are 3 open questions after that. So a total of 6 questions. With the open questions I could explain my reply, not with the multiple choice ones.
Usually I don't bother with a quiz if they ask that question.
As Vincent says, makes me feel they have loose morals. But it's so typical that so many men ask this question.


Ah, the open questions wouldn't bother me, but I don't think I'd like the multiple choice questions, I never liked those in school either, haha.

After joining the forums, it was quite a shock to me to learn that "open minded" evolved into a completely different meaning than what I believed it to mean, what it means to me, and still does.

With so many using the internet for casual hook ups, I can see how it came about though. I'm curious to know if it only applies to the online dating world. I think I'll do a little investigating and ask my co-workers and family how they would interpret it, hahaha!

With that in mind, I would avoid those who asked that question as well. And it does appear that it's typical men would ask this question, I've not seen many women ask the same. At least not here on Mingle.

Oh, MC questions can actually give you quite some insight in what the man is all about or how he's wired. Oftentimes you can read in the question and/or optional answers that he's still bothered by what happened in the past as he's projecting. And other things as well. Makes life easier as I then just skip the quiz altogether :)
Open questions can be insightful too. For instance, a great many cannot think of a last open question and then say "What would you like to ask me?"
Really a daft question, why would a stranger want to ask him anything? I'm quite sure this is mostly because they themselves cannot think of another question.
That's basically why I sometimes go through quizzes as they do give an idea of what a man is like. It hardly ever happens I see a more intelligent quiz, as in clearly showing the man has some wisdom. Happens about once a year, and that's not a joke unfortunately...
Riverspirit1111's photo

Riverspirit1111

Sun 10/16/22 11:18 AM





It is the exact same for me, all that you describe. To me personally it's also a good thing, the openness to learn and grow etc. But it seems in the dating world it's limited to sex, easy sex, no commitment as they want to keep things open etc.

In the quizzes there are 3 multiple choice questions for which the maker has to come up with a few answers to choose from. It's set up in such a way that at least 1 option has to be wrong, meaning you cannot continue with the quiz. Basically the maker decided that anyone choosing that answer isn't a match, so your out when you do.
And there are 3 open questions after that. So a total of 6 questions. With the open questions I could explain my reply, not with the multiple choice ones.
Usually I don't bother with a quiz if they ask that question.
As Vincent says, makes me feel they have loose morals. But it's so typical that so many men ask this question.


Ah, the open questions wouldn't bother me, but I don't think I'd like the multiple choice questions, I never liked those in school either, haha.

After joining the forums, it was quite a shock to me to learn that "open minded" evolved into a completely different meaning than what I believed it to mean, what it means to me, and still does.

With so many using the internet for casual hook ups, I can see how it came about though. I'm curious to know if it only applies to the online dating world. I think I'll do a little investigating and ask my co-workers and family how they would interpret it, hahaha!

With that in mind, I would avoid those who asked that question as well. And it does appear that it's typical men would ask this question, I've not seen many women ask the same. At least not here on Mingle.

Oh, MC questions can actually give you quite some insight in what the man is all about or how he's wired. Oftentimes you can read in the question and/or optional answers that he's still bothered by what happened in the past as he's projecting. And other things as well. Makes life easier as I then just skip the quiz altogether :)
Open questions can be insightful too. For instance, a great many cannot think of a last open question and then say "What would you like to ask me?"
Really a daft question, why would a stranger want to ask him anything? I'm quite sure this is mostly because they themselves cannot think of another question.
That's basically why I sometimes go through quizzes as they do give an idea of what a man is like. It hardly ever happens I see a more intelligent quiz, as in clearly showing the man has some wisdom. Happens about once a year, and that's not a joke unfortunately...


Good point, I hadn't thought about that. It would be a good way to gain a little insight into what they are about.
SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž's photo

SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž

Sun 10/16/22 12:10 PM






It is the exact same for me, all that you describe. To me personally it's also a good thing, the openness to learn and grow etc. But it seems in the dating world it's limited to sex, easy sex, no commitment as they want to keep things open etc.

In the quizzes there are 3 multiple choice questions for which the maker has to come up with a few answers to choose from. It's set up in such a way that at least 1 option has to be wrong, meaning you cannot continue with the quiz. Basically the maker decided that anyone choosing that answer isn't a match, so your out when you do.
And there are 3 open questions after that. So a total of 6 questions. With the open questions I could explain my reply, not with the multiple choice ones.
Usually I don't bother with a quiz if they ask that question.
As Vincent says, makes me feel they have loose morals. But it's so typical that so many men ask this question.


Ah, the open questions wouldn't bother me, but I don't think I'd like the multiple choice questions, I never liked those in school either, haha.

After joining the forums, it was quite a shock to me to learn that "open minded" evolved into a completely different meaning than what I believed it to mean, what it means to me, and still does.

With so many using the internet for casual hook ups, I can see how it came about though. I'm curious to know if it only applies to the online dating world. I think I'll do a little investigating and ask my co-workers and family how they would interpret it, hahaha!

With that in mind, I would avoid those who asked that question as well. And it does appear that it's typical men would ask this question, I've not seen many women ask the same. At least not here on Mingle.

Oh, MC questions can actually give you quite some insight in what the man is all about or how he's wired. Oftentimes you can read in the question and/or optional answers that he's still bothered by what happened in the past as he's projecting. And other things as well. Makes life easier as I then just skip the quiz altogether :)
Open questions can be insightful too. For instance, a great many cannot think of a last open question and then say "What would you like to ask me?"
Really a daft question, why would a stranger want to ask him anything? I'm quite sure this is mostly because they themselves cannot think of another question.
That's basically why I sometimes go through quizzes as they do give an idea of what a man is like. It hardly ever happens I see a more intelligent quiz, as in clearly showing the man has some wisdom. Happens about once a year, and that's not a joke unfortunately...


Good point, I hadn't thought about that. It would be a good way to gain a little insight into what they are about.

Yes, that's the only reason I go through them when I feel like it and also the only reason I myself have a number of quizzes out. When making one it's good to think of questions that will give you the required insight. Not as easy as it sounds as they also have to be appealing and be fun to fill out, and not come across as a shrink's assessment.
But it's a good gadget for sure, provided you know how to use it. It's not unlike asking the right questions when speed dating. If you got a number of good ones you can gain a helluva lot of insight in the 5 or 10 mins you got.
Edited by SparklingCrystal πŸ’–πŸ’Ž on Sun 10/16/22 12:10 PM
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Blondey111

Sun 10/16/22 04:16 PM

When open minded became popular on dating sites .. it didn’t refer to casual sex or NSA so much as being adventurous in sex and willing to experiment /try anything once .

Other than that I agree with River .. context is important . I don’t think it is possible to analyse that in isolation . The profile /photos should generally give you clues / or a vibe as to what his overall intention and meaning is .

Clearly it is open to interpretation and misinterpretation .
Morticia's photo

Morticia

Sun 10/16/22 04:44 PM

To me, guys being open minded means they're open to whatever is girls want to talk about/do etc, doesn't matter if they have knowledge or experience in that subject or not. And, most of the time, open minded means sexual.