In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes that women make is the whole "I like him but will wait for him to hopefully chat me up first" thing.
It's a game, and is not reflective of what YOU really want. You WANT to talk to him, but you don't? Opportunity lost.
There's nothing wrong AT ALL about saying "hi" to a man or approaching in a friendly way (with WORDS). I'd bet 99 out of 100 men would love that. But you don't it. Why not?
Myself, I'm not a "chaser". However, I'll certainly say hi, smile, and approach within reason. If she's playing the "aloof" game, I'm done in an instant.
It's become a minefield out there for men. Will she be like "oh F+ck, here we go again" with attitude about being approached?, Will she think she's being harassed in some way? Does she have a bf/husband she'll sick on you? OR, will she be DELIGHTED you said hello? NOBODY KNOWS, and many men are clueless about your "signs" you give off.
Frankly, if women are not making it easy on a man they are interested in (in a store, wherever), it just won't happen. I'd say in a perfect world, with all the "harassment" uncertainties, it's the WOMEN that should be approaching now.
Think about it this way, there is a very high probability if a man approaches, it will not go well for him. However, if the woman puts in a bit more of the effort, she's probably looking at a 99% chance it will go well for her. Yet these "toxic men" as we are often called are expected to keep approaching?
I guess most women can keep being "aloof" and expecting men to risk EVERYTHING while they do nothing but maybe a slight smile and hope he takes the hint. Doesn't seem like a very smart strategy to me.
I can understand why some men have issue with this. Sexual Harrassment lawsuits have made everbody paranoid. There is a lot of mantruth in what you've said.
My gf looked at my M2 profile multiple times and I noticed she did so at different times during the day and night. A woman looking for some on the side will always check you out at certain times, like when her husband or bf is at work.
It was I who sent the first message..."I've noticed you checking me out and I'd like to know if you want to meet someplace in town to talk?"
She was pretty enthusiastic at the notion so we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet at McDonalds for a lunch. She didn't show!
I figured she got cold feet but after I got home, she called me again. Wanted to just come over to my house so I agreed to meet her at the corner gas station.
After I saw she was alone and looked like her picture I suggested she follow me to my place and we talked and had dinner, watched a movie.
The next day, she called and wanted to do it again.
I asked her "the same gas station?" she laughed.
Thing is, we've been together bout 4 years (no I'm not actually keeping track) and we are still upfront and honest with each other. Neither of us play a personality or try to be someone we're not.
Neither of us are interested in playing those games or leading each other on with crap.
Our relationship is strong and we are happy with it.
We both know we are not married and the relationship can end anytime by either one of us but we
CHOOSE to be with each other.
Its really, really simple to do. If you can be honest with each other.