Paddy and Mick are having a drink in a local bar, when in walks a man wearing an equisitely tailored suit.

"Look at the cut of that suit.", says Paddy.

"Must be worth a fortune." says Mick, "I wonder what he does for a living."

The man heads straight for the gents' toilet and Paddy jumps up saying, "I'll check him out in the bog and let you know."

Inside the toilet, Paddy introduces himself to the well dressed man and asks, "You must have a great job, to be able to wear such fine threads?"

The man replies, "Why, yes, I am a Logical Scientist and it does pay quite well."

Paddy says, "A Logical Scientist? What might that be?"

The man says, "Let me explain."

He continues, "Let me see how I can explain this to you. OK, let's see if this will work. Do you own any goldfish?"

Paddy replies, "Yes, as it just happens, I do."

The man says, "Do you have them in a bowl or in a pond?"

Paddy replies, "In a pond."

The man says, "Well in that case I can deduce that you have quite a big garden."

"Yes", says Paddy.

"And with a big garden comes a big house."

"Yes" says Paddy.

"and that suggests to me that you are married with a family."

"Yes", says Paddy.

"with children"

"Yes" says Paddy, "two. A boy and a girl."

"which tells me that you are happily married"

"Of course" says Paddy.

"and because you are so happily married, you'll never have any reason to play with yourself"

"NO NEVER" says Paddy.

"So, there you are. Just by asking you about goldfish, I was able to use my logical science to come to that conclusion."

"That's amazing." says Paddy and left the toilet and headed back to his seat, where Mick was waiting.

"Well?" says Mick, "What did you find out?"

"The guy is a Logical Scientist." says Paddy.

"A what?" asks Mick.

"Let me explain." says Paddy.

"Do you have any goldfish?"

"No" says Mick.

"Then you're a wanker."says Paddy