It’s not as bad as it seems until you realized everything you thought was real were lies
Illusion
-a thing that is or is likely to be wrongly perceived or interpreted by the senses.
-a deceptive appearance or impression.
-a false idea or belief.
Delusion
-a false belief or judgment about external reality, held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.
-the action of deluding or the state of being deluded.
Reality
-the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
-the state or quality of having existence or substance.
We are all taught false promises during our lives.
Most of it is innocent, often perpetuated as a fact because one takes 'faith' it is accurate without checking its validity.
Many people have multiple 'faces' without realizing it. Some are deceptive on purpose, to manipulate someone or gain a desire.
People are built on their own impression of reality according to how they associate the reality they experience with the expectations they desire. Some people get so caught up in their own impression of reality they lose the ability to see the reality as it actually is.
One must step back from expectation and look at the world as if it is the first time. Only then is it possible to 'see' the actual reality of anything.
Illusion is a lie.
Delusion is the lie we tell ourselves and
Reality is what is actually there.
Reality doesn't care. It is reality whether everybody sees it or nobody sees it. "Acceptable" and "Unacceptable" have no bearing on reality.
To find the one person you desire, you must first remove your expectations that are based on your own delusions. Dismissing, making excuses for and forgiving bad behavior during the dating process gives bad results.
You must 'see' the person as they actually are, naturally. This is complicated by that person's ability to be deceptive to gain their own desires.
It can be difficult to separate the 'acting' personality from the 'actual' personality. Especially when some people are so practiced at their persona they stop realizing its an 'act'.
Dating is a way of testing each other.
Not only a test of compatibility...its more that that.
Its a test period to see if that person is 'actually' they person you think they are.
If you try to base your relationship decision on a series of official, formal dates you will not know that person much at all.
You have to experience each other informally, unscripted and spontaneously and pay attention to the details of how they respond to the unexpected, expected and moral obscurities.
The most important step when dating is not who you date but who you actually desire.
Are you attracted to that person because you are actually attracted to that person as they are or as see them?
Are you basing your desire on what you 'want' or what you 'need' in your life? So you even know what you need?
A lot of people are deluded about love.
Try to realize an illusion and a delusion is a lie.
We are told/taught 'this' is what love is. 'This' is what to look for. 'This' means they love you.
All that instruction is nothing more than their impression of love, to them or worse, someone else's impression of love they accepted.
The only love you really need to focus on is your love. Remove your delusion of love and stop falling for the illusion of love you see in others.
Love is not confusing or elusive. Its an internal feeling based on your own emotional states. Look not for those who meet someone else's criteria for love and only seek those who meet YOUR criteria for love.
If you find the right one, they won't want to cheat on you. You also won't want to cheat on them.
Its insanity to hurt the ones you love.