Why is it so difficult as a mother and why do I feel guilty, pfff....
Thing being... my son said he wanted to come with me to visit my daughter and see her newborn baby. My grandchild and his niece.
But my daughter and her man didn't do visitors at all for 3 days and now tomorrow is the first day and they have reserved that for the mothers, his in the morning and me in the afternoon since I'm not a morning person.

Absolutely great, I'm looking forward to it!!
But when my son Apped me he wanted to come with I had to tell him to ask his sister, explaining why.

Then I Apped my daughter to ask if she's okay with it. And explaining how things came to be so she doesn't think I arranged this.
I was afraid she'd get upset with me and she'd tell me I couldn't come anymore. We only recently got back in touch after some 3 months of no contact because she was angry with me.
So all of a sudden I was nervous.

And nope, she doesn't want her brother to come along tomorrow, first the mothers.
Fair enough, it's their party.

So I told my son.
And now I feel guilty while I haven't done anything wrong.
I can understand my daughter and feel she can do it the way she wants it.
But I also understand my son and it's his first and only niece. He and his sister are quite close.
And then there's me thinking, why can't he come? He has to work rest of the week, so then it's going to be a week from now before he can see his sister and niece...
While he drops everything on the spot whenever his sister is in trouble to help her.

So I feel guilty. Hotdammit! And it's their thing, I shouldn't get in between, and I haven't even done anything. Yet I feel guilty as bleep.
Thing is, I think, they put me in between. He by contacting me he's coming along tomorrow without asking his sister first. And then she puts me in between by letting me sort it out with her brother as opposed to doing that herself.

I don't like this at all.
To be honest, I feel sorry for my son. But then he should have arranged it properly.
Pfffff... it's exhausting being an empath!

You shouldn't feel guilty even if you did tell your son. It is your daughter's choice and everyone should respect that, your son included.

Good point. Thank you!

It's your daughters choice. She just had a child and doesn't feel like entertaining mobs of relatives. Your son should understand. It's not like the kid is going to get up and run off in the next week or two.

I agree and as a mom of 4 children (1 daughter) I can understand everyone’s point of view.

Mama wishes are to be respected. Go enjoy grandma time and don’t stress, your son will get over it after he sees his niece next week.

Everything will be fine Grandma. 🥰

Thank you for your input :)

I still don't entirely feel the same way but I don't feel guilty anymore either.
But I still don't feel the way she dealt with it was wonderful. She was callous and indifferent.
I can't change that, but I did my best to soften things for my son as he was truly disappointed and hurt.

I suppose as it is we will go together on Monday or Tuesday. I haven't been yet either cos I had a cold sore coming up.