I recognise much in what you say. I too tend to forget to ask about the other and tell about myself.
I used to also think it was one-sided, and felt a bit guilty for making it about me. But then... I'm so open and giving that I think it's more related to that. Assuming that everyone else is that way too. Assuming they too will naturally open up and share as I am that way.
And in a way it's odd to have to ask and effort to extract info? At least it can feel that way to me.
Nevertheless I've also made it a point to ask others about them.
But you know, with people I resonate with I don't have to do any of that thinking while conversing. It just automatically flows from both directions! Which leads back to it being a bit odd to have to consciously try to get them to open.
And yes, trying to avoid "yes/no" questions is very helpful. That is something you can train yourself to do, much easier even in written conversation as you have time to think about formulating the question.
And the "telling about me then asking them about it" (movie/book/whatever) is a really good way to get it going. Oftentimes helps the other over the threshold of nerves or the 'WTF am I going to talk about' dilemma, hihi.
And then it just takes off.
And there's always the thing that if the other is truly interested or not. A few days ago I had a guy contact me but he had no profile photo. So I told him "No photo, no contact. You make things skewed as you can see me but I can't see you." (He'd commented on my looks & aura)
For me it was done, over.
But... he uploaded a profile photo and sent me another message? I was still not impressed but he didn't give up, haha.
He's not the type to write a lot, so I said we were too different then as to me written word IS alive, visceral.
So I gave him nothing but "PO kind of replies" lol, yet... he wasn't deterred.
We are now kind of talking and seem to have things in common?! Not saying it's going anywhere serious, might not even lead to a date. But had he not persevered we wouldn't even be talking.
What I'm trying to say is, maybe if it is quite difficult to get off the ground it's just not the right person?
Something to bear in mind and consider...
Excellent point and definitely something to consider.
I, too, am fairly open with sharing about myself, and assume they will do the same. When it doesn't happen, I automatically think it's something I'm doing wrong in my way of communicating. Rather than considering that we just don't click.
There have certainly been other times when conversing with a guy just flowed, it happened naturally. But most of the time in those circumstances, it never moved past the friend zone, haha. When it came to love interests, the communication was more awkward and often times like pulling teeth from a newborn.
I suspect though, that the reason it was more awkward had more to do with where I was concerning love relationships and my ability to accept love more so than their ability to communicate. I wasn't truly open to it, so I attracted men who also weren't open to it, who had similar issues with self worth and such? Staying in the friend zone was safe, for the both of us, so the communication flowed much easier.
I've always had this vision for when I'm truly ready to enter a love relationship... We aren't going to struggle trying to have a conversation. It's going to just happen, take off, as if we've known each other our whole lives. Maybe that's silly, but I truly believe that when two people truly resonate with each other, it's not going to be like pulling teeth from a newborn. The energy will flow in harmony, not agony.
Still waiting for that to happen, haha. Some day! But first, I have a few more cobwebs to clear out of my heart center so that I am ready to receive the kind of love I truly desire.
Oh, that kind of connection sure as heck can happen! I know as I've had it happen. Both my last relationships for sure.
There was no effort to get and keep a conversation going. It just flowed by itself. And especially with the last man there was a very strong feeling of already knowing the other to an extent I have not ever come across before. And this was mutual, not just me. He was open to the spiritual but not very familiar with it so to him it was totally new. I knew it could happen, had similar experience with my ex before him, but this was much much deeper. Different. It immediately felt we were in a solid, healthy relationship while we'd only just met.
I always said, it's like we're in a relationship, know each other inside and out, yet we don't know each other at all when it comes to mundane day to day stuff, and in that sense we have to get to know one another from the start.
Kind of like starting a connection 5 yrs in -the point where you already live together etc- and having to work your way back to the first meeting, romancing, getting to know each other etc. etc. if that makes sense.
I don't think most can follow, but quite sure you can, hihi. It was the weirdest and at the same time most beautiful thing I've ever had happen!
And that was instant, from the second I opened the front door and laid eyes on him and he on me.
We hugged, and he said -bemused-, I feel energy between our hearts??
And "When you laugh and I look into your eyes, I know that laugh!"
He was totally lost when he looked into my eyes, I doubt he heard a word I said, just sat that mesmerized, bedazzled, hahaha.
And our conversations... I can still miss them! He always understood me, could paraphrase what I'd said, never needed explanation.
So it sure as hell exists!
My biggest problem in a way, which I've come to realise over the years... men sometimes fall for me because of my energy, my high vibration. I have to then be vigilant to not have them romance me and eventually far for them as when this happens their feelings are not lasting. It's like they get bedazzled or something.
Seems odd to say about yourself, but I have truly had that happen. And then when it wears off, they too bugger off, leaving me heartbroken. What usually is going on is that they take / get healing from my high energy and when healed enough they're gone...
Meaning I have to use my own discernment to get clear what I'm dealing with, which to date I find dammed hard to do!!