I don't have to buy paddles I have them all listen lady you don't have to be mean or rude I'm already embarrassed to buy it okay I was in a two and a half year relationship where I found that it worked there's other states that have the insurance pay for it counseling coaches do it. I wish I was like you and I didn't have immense ADHD and have to take tons of pills for my anxiety spanking helps it's a release you wouldn't understand so thank you for taking time out of your day to make me feel bad Jesus loves you
I reread what I wrote and I can see how you would take what I said as being mean or rude. Although that was not my intention, I do at times come across harsh with my a matter of fact delivery. So I apologize if what I said caused you to feel further contempt for yourself.
You are mistaken to assume I don't understand. I actually do understand! I too was hard-wired since birth. My early childhood years, from birth to 6 years old, were void of what every child deserves in life. It was full of violence, betrayal, drug/alcohol addiction, and abandonment.
By time my Aunt took me away from my mother at age 6, I was one messed up little girl. It took months before they could get me to come out from under the bed anytime my Uncle was home.
Throughout my years, I have had several different diagnosis from therapists/doctors... Depression, Anxiety, Possible Bi-Polar, Separation Anxiety, Detachment Disorder, PTSD, ADD, and Alcohol Addiction.
My road to recovery from all my diagnosis's was frustrating and challenging. After several years of being free from my supposed diagnosis's, and having somewhat of normalcy in my life, my inner contempt for myself lead me back to drinking and thankfully a botched up attempted suicide. I say thankfully because had I succeeded, I would never have experienced the light at the end of the tunnel that I am experiencing now... Self Love!
Reflecting back on all of that, I spent many years blaming others for who I was, how I was, and why I needed or did certain things in life. I blamed my parents for how messed up I was and my ability to not be able to receive love. I had a hat full of diagnosis's to pick and chose from to get others to feel sorry for me and blame my behaviors on.
Nothing changed until I took responsibility for myself and stopped blaming others or my diagnosis's for who and what I am. No one gets to decide that except me! The last nine years of returning to me hasn't been a bed of roses, but it's been well worth it. I no longer need punishment, either self inflicted or inflicted by others, in order to survive.
No child, or adult, deserves punishment. My comment to you that perhaps it would be easier to buy a paddle was not appropriate, considering I didn't explain why I said that. My thought pattern was that if you were to inflict the punishment yourself, you might see how ridiculous it was to continue harming yourself through others. Sometimes when we do to ourselves what we want others to do it has away of turning on the light and seeing things differently.
You live in the US. Any form of therapy that uses punishment is not therapy! It's abuse, inhuman, and unethical! With all the resources available to us, it saddens me that people are still out there wanting to be punished, spanked, or beaten up when they don't act accordingly or as a means to stay on track.
But as I said before, it's their/your business. The resources are there if you want them. If not, then so be it, continue the search for a punisher. If that's not what you truly want, then find the resources that guide you to self love, rather than self torture. It is your choice!
Best of luck to you either way! Namaste!
Edited by
Riverspirit1111
on Thu 07/06/23 03:51 AM
