There I go again... staring at his picture and still wanting to call him mine and tell him how much I am proud, lucky, and blessed to be his girlfriend but I know I will never have that chance anymore, and again it hurts.
I know he can read my posts, he may think I am desperate but I really am anyway. I never hide what I am feeling before so why start now?
Again, in this quiet corner where I can say what is in my heart without having to hold back, this is where I am turning now.
Again with silent cries, trying to say my pain through my words, trying to spell them out as correctly as I could while my eyes are blinded by my tears.
In this quiet corner where it would only take all the things I am saying, all whispers and screams inside me... a deaf, mute, and blind witness to what I am going through.
I cannot even say his name without choking with tears... the loneliness is melting every strength left in me...
Quiet sobs, fill up this quiet corner. If they could talk, I am sure like others it would convince me to stop crying and move on...
Or maybe this quiet corner would just say to go on and let my heart speak.
I don't know where I am getting all these tears, they are never-ending and it seems that every emotion I am feeling right now feeds the stream of tears.
How can I let him go, how can I forget him when every time I try to convince myself, every fiber of my being just screams that it is not right?
It's hard to breathe, it is suffocating. I don't know why I tried to reach the heavens when I could only touch the skies. I don't know why it felt so right to love him with everything in me. I don't know why I felt differently with him the very first moment I met him. I don't know why I saw myself growing old with him.
I never wished, never wanted, never needed anyone the way I am feeling for him. I never prayed for anyone to stay in my life but him.
I would give up the world if only to be with him until the end of my life. I would turn my back on all the right reasons just to be with him because loving him feels so right.
I know I am loving far too much and that's okay, he deserved it. He made me so happy.
Once, not so long ago, he told me, "You have so much untapped love it's ridiculous" but guess what, all of them I gave to him and more, so much more, I could still love him so much more... but the heavens did not allow me because they decided to give him someone else instead
